Can I get it all back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Can I get it all back?
6
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 1:45pm

At age almost 3, I stood in front of my entire church and sang "Away in a Manger" all by myself for the congregation. While I do not remember it at all, it was apparently adorable and I had no fear at all at the time. Someone asked me to sing and I sang and I loved it.


Something I do remember is a year later at Sunday School they had a cake to celebrate my birthday (and probably other birthdays of the same month, I'm guessing). They tried to hand me a lit candle and make me light a candle on the cake. I was scared, afraid I'd be burned. I was turning 4, I had no business with a lit candle! They made me do it. I didn't want to.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 6:01am
~hugs~
I really loved this.
It gives me HOPE.
In spite of everything that has happened to me there is JOY and wonder.
My kids think sometimes wow your LIFE was really rough mom.
I think optimistic is a good way to view the world.
I don't want to be bitter.
I want to be HAPPY!
Every day we get up and face another day is a VICTORY!!!
Small victories lead to even bigger ones.
Today I feel "VICTORIOUS"...I stood up to my dad.
For many years I felt like he had let my younger sister and me down and I let him know.
He has always supported my older brother who was physically and sexually abusive toward me and my younger sister.
I wanted to know answers to my questions about why he hadn't been supportive and how I felt about it...
Whew!
It felt so good to do that and I am so proud of myself.
<3
Nightangel
Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 3:02pm
YES, you can be different, you can change
 

 

 

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Fri, 12-18-2009 - 1:04am
~hugs~
Sometimes I think we wonder what it would be like if we hadn't been through SA.
I know I do and wonder how my LIFE would have been, would it have been different?...would I be different?
There is sadness and anger to sometimes...grief, and un-answered questions?....kwim?
For me personally...what happened to that little girl?...how did and has the SA affected me and those around me?
I believe I am stronger and definitely courageous and so are you.
This was not our fault and we are not to blame ever.
I believe the little girl is there and I have given her a VOICE.
For so long my screams were silent but they are not anymore.
My heart goes out to you because I wish it had never happened and wonder about that but one thing I know is that I am here and I am a Survivour...like you.
<3
Nightangel
Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 3:24am
hi Allie!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
yes yes yes yes....... you can work to get those lost things back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 10:18pm

Thanks Gail. I appreciate your support and kind words.


allie

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 9:02pm

IMO...YES, it's possible to get your life back! Allie, I never...EVER...dreamed my life could be like this. The most I hoped for when I started this journey several years ago was a little sanity. In fact, I actually thought

**gentle hugs**