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|Fri, 01-01-2010 - 7:32pm|
I have posted on some other boards in the past but this is my first time visiting this site. I guess this is a subject I try to think very little about if possible. I will make my story short and simple. I was sa by my father starting at the age of 9. It lasted until almost age 12 when I told my mother. My parents had been divorced since I was 3. We prosecuted and he went to jail for 2 years. I never saw him again after I testified at the trial. I am 39 now and have tried some therapy in the past but never put much into it. My relationships, including my marriage, have always been rocky. I yell a lot, feel insecure, and am generally angry. I tend to blame a lot of things around me and ignore the sa. I am going through a hard time in my life again. Alcohol seems to make these episodes much worse. I have decided to not drink for as long as necessary for myself but more for my two kids. Reading these posts makes me realize how much my behavior is linked to my abuse. I feel like my marriage could end at any moment and I'm scaring my children with all the fighting I engage in with my husband. I am reassessing who I am becoming. I feel sad, lonely, and hurt. I hope the all of you will join me on my journey.