confrontation # 3?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2008
confrontation # 3?
3
Sun, 01-03-2010 - 10:02pm

i haven't posted much here, prefer to mostly lurk occassionally.

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 01-04-2010 - 2:35pm

Hi there,


I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to come out of lurkdom and post to the group. I always like to get to know who else is out there, :-).


Discussing our issues with our families is such a huge deal. Emotions ride so high that it's hard to get our points across the first, second or even third time. Therefore, I encourage you to try to keep from being too frustrated.


IMO, the main thing is to be extremely clear about what you need from them. If we're not 100% realistic in our expectations then less than ideal results will follow no matter how many times we try. So what about you? What do you need from your mother in order to feel you've had a successful conversation? Keep in mind, I'm not asking what you want, I'm asking what you feel you need from her. There could be a big difference so I think it will help you to seperate the two and really focus on what you absolutely need. For me, what I need is the bottom line. If I don't get what I need then I can make adjustments in my life accordingly. But if I don't get what I want then I may regret it if I make

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 4:10pm
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2004
Wed, 01-06-2010 - 1:04am
I'm just adding my 2 cents in on the whole family thing. It is very frustrating and annoying when you talk to them - esp when some seem to get it for a little while and then goes back to acting like nothing happened. I deal with my own issues with my family....at times they talk to my perp like nothing ever happened- it drives me crazy, and I prefer it when they don't mention him. At times I would love to tell my family to take a hike- but I'm still dependent on them for finacial support, shelter, etc.

Alisa