I probably need this more than I realize

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2006
I probably need this more than I realize
6
Wed, 01-06-2010 - 5:10pm

It's funny, I've told people about this before, and yet...and yet there are days that it all comes back to bite me in the butt. I was 16/17 at the time, and it was my ex boyfriend. It has started out with the jealousy, taking my anger

Carrie-Lynn
3 Boys + 2 Angels

Community Leader
Registered: 06-02-2008
Wed, 01-06-2010 - 5:28pm

Reading your story made me think a lot about my own situation.

Zoe

Community Leader - Sexual Abuse Healing

Boards> Health & Fitness >Crisis Support >Sexual Abuse Healing

http://www.ivillage.com/forums/health-fitness/crisis-support/sexual-abuse-healing

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2006
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 6:43am

I realized part of the problem comes from the fact that a friend of mine had dated him recently, despite my warning, than proceeds to talk to me about it afterwards. She only backed down when I finally said I had to go, and I haven't talked to her since. There's also another place I go with my DH and boys, and have seen a guy a few times that looks like my ex boyfriend. This past week I had one guy who everytime I looked up seemed to be staring at me the way I had seen by ex a few times.


I guess it reminded me of how I felt after he touched me, or did similar things, and I thought of the guy that I've seen there that reminded me of him, than got thinking about him. I honestly feel like a mess right now. I'm not sure if this is because of my thyroid that I'm experiencing something like the depression I went through after being with him, or if this another round of it. I'm trying to sort all this out because I want to step forward again. I just don't know how, particularly when things about him keep croping up.


It's odd, I just thought of something from about

Carrie-Lynn
3 Boys + 2 Angels

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 2:39pm
Photobucket

Hi Carrie-Lynn Welcome to the board, I'm glad you found us.

My name is Brenda and I am the cl here.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2006
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 1:53am

Brenda,


I've never been to therapy. Part of that comes from the fact that I was raised to "deal with it yourself", and partially from my mother always telling me to toughen up and get over it. Another part of the reason is fear of being told I'm depressed and have to go on medication for it. I recently dealt with some antidepressants

Carrie-Lynn
3 Boys + 2 Angels

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 2:05am

((((((((hugs))))))) if ok.

just to tell you that there are great therapists out there. And i understand the fear of telling a stranger. when i first disclosed things i actually wrote them out for her to read and other times i just sat on the floor back facing her.... i know, crazy right? but then it became easier. Rosemarie was my lifeline almost 4 yrs before suddenly passing away 14 months ago from a car accident. i am still crushed. but i have learned to trust another wonderful woman.

you will pick up the phone when you are ready. and we are always here for you.

gentle hugs...

~Shannon

~~Shannon
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 11:30am
My gosh your reasons sound a lot like mine before I started therapy.