Question from spouse....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Question from spouse....
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 12:03am
Ladies I wonder if you might be able to help me out with this.



Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 5:59am


I'm really glad you posted his original post because it helps me get a better feel for where he's coming from. On the surface it sounds like an innocent enough question. But the hair on the back of my neck stood up when he said "regardless of whether their spouse has the right to know." Gee, do spouses really

**gentle hugs**

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 1:14am
That was a definite RED Flag for me to.
I remember my now ex-husband remarking once that someone who had been a Survivour of SA was "tainted"...
That blew me away because I am a Survivour.
The irony of this escaped him but I did confront him.
Actually asked him if he had felt that way about me...kwim?
I don't think it's anybody's business but mine and if I want to share it that is my choice but not their right.
Once when dating I did tell someone and they suggested I shouldn't tell the next time I dated someone...obviously that ended pretty quickly.
Unfortunately there is a stigma that we are to blame and less than.
Of course it's not true but it got me wondering.
To me this guy had his own agenda and it concerned me.
I think it was and is her choice whether or not she discloses it or not.
Just my two cents worth.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 8:50pm

I don't know if I'm too late for my 2 cents but here it is.

I see a couple things going on here.