I'm really glad you posted his original post because it helps me get a better feel for where he's coming from. On the surface it sounds like an innocent enough question. But the hair on the back of my neck stood up when he said "regardless of whether their spouse has the right to know." Gee, do spouses really
I don't know if I'm too late for my 2 cents but here it is.
I see a couple things going on here.