Was it rape?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
Was it rape?
6
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 10:55am

Hello,


I have a question regarding a situation that happened to me years ago.Its always been in the back of my head.


I was dating a guy that I wasn't attracted to at all,we'd only been seeing each other a few days,and I was at his house in his bedroom and we were listening to music.I remember he kept trying to kiss me and I reluctantly kissed him back,I didn't want to be mean and hurt his feelings,because the truth was I didn't think he was attractive at all.Anyways I remember he started taking off my pants,and I said something along the lines of I don't feel like it or something.Honestly I couldn't tell you exactly what I said other than I made it clear I didni't want to do anything.I remember he persisted and I was eventually on my back on the bed with no pants...feeling very uncomfortable,I just remember he started having sex with me and te whole time I was trying to get away again,squirming under him,don't remember what I said but making it clear I didn't want sex.It wasn't violent or anything and he wasn't even mean with me,it was almost like he didin't hear what I was saying or didn't see I was clearly trying to get out from under him,and he just proceeded.Then his mom walked in and thats when it stopped.I

Hollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
In reply to: pink1988_
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 10:31pm

Hollie,


In the simplist of terms rape is sex without consent.

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: pink1988_
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 10:01am

Hi Hollie,


I did a quick Google search and found several sites that said Canadian law has no statute of limitations on rape since rape is considered an indictable offense. Keep in mind this is simply what I learned through the internet so I would encourage you to follow Healingjourney's advice and seek counsel from a rape crisis center. You might also want to contact RAINN. Although it's a US organization, they may have some insight into your situation.


Lastly, if this is influencing your ability to establish intimate relationships or is impacting your current life then I'd also encourage you to work through this with a qualified professional. The old saying "Time heals all wounds" is dead wrong when it comes to this sort of trauma. Working through the old horrors

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2008
In reply to: pink1988_
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 9:31am

Hi Hollie


Have you ever hear of that expression the says, "What Part of No Don't You Understand?"? Rape is when you force someone to have sex, in any form, it can be as simple has touching and

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
In reply to: pink1988_
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 1:53pm

Robbie,


Hollie said she said no.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2008
In reply to: pink1988_
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 11:13am

Hollie


I need to take a moment to say I'm sorry for sounding a bit harsh with you. My comments were directed toward the title of your posting "Was It Rape" and not you. Being a victim of rape myself I can at times get a bit hot under the collar when various topics comes up on the topic of rape. What I was trying to say is that any forced sex is rape, even with a spouse. I question the wisdom of whether one should fight back or not. I know in my case if I hadn't fought back, the guy would of killed me. As is, he came pretty dam close to doing me in. To this day I still wonder how I survived. When I wrote my first posting, I did so just after hearing on the news about the two young girls in San Diego who's remains were found. It just makes me sick to hear things like that. Healingjourney thanks for getting me to thinking.


Robbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
In reply to: pink1988_
Fri, 03-12-2010 - 11:50pm
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Hi Hollie, welcome to the board, I'm glad you found us.

My name is Brenda and I am the cl here.