April 1st, Divorce, Trauma

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
April 1st, Divorce, Trauma
8
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 2:16pm
Sorry I havent been here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 10:19pm
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 10:55pm

Thank you Brenda.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2004
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 3:08am

Shannon,

I'm so sorry to hear this. (((((((((hugs))))) I wish I knew what else to say. You're not alone here, post anytime you need to.


Alisa


Alisa

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 7:01am

Hi (((Shannon))),


I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. Wow, I was going to spew some garbage about reminding you to focus on what's going on right now rather than magnifying things with what happened to your mother. But I can't begin to know the slippery slope you must be on emotionally. So let me spare you my b.s.


I will however, suggest that you stop considering what is best for the two of you and only consider your own feelings. I'm bringing this up b/c you wrote, "...he cant love me anymore or fight for us anymore or think I or we are worth it or all that we have been thru is worth it." I'm far from a relationship expert but I've been down the divorce road. I learned very clearly that each person can only speak for themselves, not for the couple as a whole. A healthy relationship is interdependent....not codependent. So I encourage you to focus your attention on your feelings and allow Leo to focus his attention on his own. You may or may not be able to manage a reconciliation but your boundaries must be respected.


BTW, are you at the treatment center in Florida?

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 11:30am
Gail... I am attepting to get my foot in the door here down here... the wait in about a month a least. I will be going home first. Facing Leo first. And yes I understand and the speaking for only myself in the relationship. TY. Its so hard. :(
~~Shannon
Community Leader
Registered: 06-02-2008
Sun, 03-28-2010 - 1:38pm

Shannon,


Having had my own marriage practically implode last year I can relate on some level.


A thought came to me.

Zoe

Community Leader - Sexual Abuse Healing

Boards> Health & Fitness >Crisis Support >Sexual Abuse Healing

http://www.ivillage.com/forums/health-fitness/crisis-support/sexual-abuse-healing

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 4:41pm

<3


I don't know what to say but that my heart goes out to you.


~Hugs~

Nightangel
Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 12:58pm

(((((((((((((((friends))))))))))))))))
thanks for your heart felt support. it is always so warm and deeply held onto.
Leo has only agreed to meet on April 9th for one session of marraige counseling... he can promise nothing more. He cant even tell me that he loves me any longer. I cannot tell you how deeply that tears thru my heart and soul and world.
Today is 21 yrs since the tragic death of my Mother...
Its so much...
So many many tears. I dont know if it is ok to cry this much but I cannot stop. It is almost scary.
Thank you for your support... xoxo

~~Shannon