Sharing your past with a new partner

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2006
Sharing your past with a new partner
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 9:43am

Hi Everyone,

I've been on iVillage message boards for many years now but haven't posted on this one I don't think...seems I have so many issues that I jump from one message board to another so it's hard to keep track lol. My history - I was molested by my doctor when I was 5. I'm not sure how long it went on for but it was about a year until my family moved. Since I was so young I was unsure of what happened for years until high school. I have since had problems with men my entire life - mistrust and abusive relationships and was raped to add to it all. Surprisingly, I feel like I've managed to go about my life fairly OK. Now, I am in a healthy relationship with a very nice guy but I know my past affect me and my reactions to things. I don't know if I should share my past with him...I feel like there's no good way to tell, and every time I want to I hate feeling like I'm opening a closet full of trauma spilling out. In a way him not knowing makes me feel more "normal." Can anyone share their experience with telling their partner or advice on what to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Mon, 05-17-2010 - 11:06pm




iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 10:50pm

Everyone has their own comfort level and way of talking about their experiences.

Only you can really know if it makes sense for you to tell him.

Only you can know what the benefits and risks of telling him could be.