divorce

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
divorce
7
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 7:27pm
I got a huge bomb dropped on me last nite. My husband has decided to file for divorce. He moved out in a very cowardly manner back in April. Giving us a years separation and then most likely getting back on track. Well we were doing well the last month, he was coming over few nites a week we were having a good time like a normal married couple. This came out of the blue. He did not have the balls to (excuse my language) to come to tell me to my face ot even over the phone. He text messaged me about it. He said he decided what is going to happen with this marriage. Divorce. He said he has to do this for himself. WTF???????????? HIM HIM HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! where am I in this?????????? a marriage or relationship, last I checked consists of TWO persons not one.
I am abandoned yet again. My trust is shattered yet again. My heart broken in pieces yet again. People tell me to move on. What do I do ... just grow a new freakin heart???????????????? All I have done is sob for the last 24 hrs. I dont know where to go from here. I been fighting with my abuse issues, and now this.
I so want to hurt myself. But I am stronger than that. I know that. Even in the deepest despair now when I am sobbing so hard my head feels like I will have a stroke my heart feels like it is being ripped out and i cant catch even one ounce of breath.
I cant believe this is happening.
~~Shannon
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
In reply to: sjn73
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 9:42pm
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
In reply to: sjn73
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 5:48am

ty Brenda,

No he was and is not willing to do marriage counseling. :(

I guess I am on my own now. Maybe it is better. I cannot trust anymore. And I have so much trauma still yet to deal with...

But who knows I may meet someone else someday... but never will I marry again. Never.

:(

~~Shannon
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
In reply to: sjn73
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:13am

Oh ((((Shannon))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
In reply to: sjn73
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 7:41pm
thank you.......
i dont see beyond this hurt. i feel my insides curling back up hiding away because trust has been stolen once again. he is in the hospital because of stress but requested i do not show up or call or make any contact. he has that in writing. he is blaming me for this. yet what did i do? i honestly did not do anything. if something happens to him, the pain in my heart and soull will be unbearable. but i haev to try to not take responsiblity. he is choosing this road. not me.
why do men hurt women so much.
but i love him.
~~Shannon
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
In reply to: sjn73
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 7:34pm
i am soooooooooooo heartbroken. i am in bed most of my time. i see the shrink tomorrow. i am scheduled for a sleep study tues. not sure that will take place. i cry most of the night. i am not feeling safe right now. dr may put me inpatient tomorrow. we will see. i am really suffering. :( leo said today it is going to take at least 90 days for divorce to go thru. i just wanted to hold him, touch him.... its like we were aliens to each other. it hurts so much. he has abandoned me and hurt me. i cant trust a soul.
~~Shannon
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
In reply to: sjn73
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 8:28pm
Shannon you can trust ME!
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
In reply to: sjn73
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 12:01pm

((((((((((((((((((((Brenda))))))))))))))))))))) ty sweetie

I am a wreck. But I am scheduled for a sleep study tonight at the hospital. They hook you to a million things from head to toe and want you to stya on you back all night and expect you to actually sleep??????????????????????/ yeah right. I dont sleep now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A JOKE. this should be interesting. especially since all i been doing is crying most nights. not sure they will get much sleep out of me or proof of sleep apnea or anything else but you never know.

~~Shannon