The Catholic Faith - I've lost it
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The Catholic Faith - I've lost it
| Mon, 01-31-2005 - 9:41am |
I have been catholic all my life. Granted I'm not an avid church goer, but I do believe! Recently I've been having some depression issues and have found thru my counselor that most of it is due to the guilt over my past. She suggested I go to confession. But I've just learned that the catholic faith has turned to face to face confessionals. Just don't think I can do that and be able to look my priest in the eyes again. This guilt weighs heavy on me. I pray nightly that God has forgiven me, but how do I know he has? I feel like I'm losing my faith. I know they say "ask and ye shall receive", but how do I know? I'm so confused right now. Anyone with some words of advice would be greatly appreciated!
Chris

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Chris;
I'm new here, my name is Laure.
Blessed Be!
Laure-co-cl on migraines & headaches
You all have helped me so very much. I think I know what I need to do now. I just needed that push and you all gave me that. Thank you so very very very much. I'm so glad I came across this board. What a wonderful place!
Chris
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Mom to furangel, Chelse
If you would like to talk about this further then I am happy to do so via e-mail but once again I'd say that I would not want this woman to be feeling as you have now. If there were more affairs that my husband had before that I didn't know about I would not want to find out about them now, because the person he is now is different to the one back then and it would only bring me more heartache but I don't believe that there are he is too bad a liar and far too sorry for the heartache he caused me.
A meditation you might like to try is one where you imagine yourself with angels who you ask to cleanse your heart. They take your heart to God and cleanse it in a beautiful fountain removing any sin, guilt, hurt etc and if you concentrate you will see any blackness being removed from your heart and see it return to a lovely pink colour before they place it lovingly back in your body. After doing this a few times you really can feel a difference.
I hope this has helped in some way. It has helped me to realise how I now feel and how I would no longer want to be holding on to all that pain and hurt, but have instead turned it into something very positive. I have a strong, loving relationship with my husband and we share a much stronger bond than we did previously and that is a good thing and I'm sure you can learn to accept that you made a mistake and now it's time to forgive yourself for that and move forward with love in your heart both for your husband and yourself.
Brightest Blessings Carol
Thank you so much for your perspective Carol. I had decided to just keep my mouth shut and keep my knowings to myself. His business is no longer mine. I guess the one thing I never mentioned was before I did all this, I was previously married and my husband cheated on me. I guess I never got over it and this was my way of lashing out. I'm learning this forgiving thing slowly. It's not an easy thing to do, but I'm getting there. I have forgiven my ex husband, but would never tolerate it again. How funny I should be the one saying that, huh?! I hope I'm never faced with this situation again and never plan to let myself get put into that situation. I just want to go on with my life and family I have now. I hope God has forgiven me and helps to lead me into the right direction.
Chris
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Mom to furangel, Chelse
I can soooo understand your comment about not tolerating it again. I too flirted way too seriously with two guys as a kick back to my husband's affair so I understand how you could use that as a way of lashing out. One of the guy's I didn't even particularly like, which was partly why I did it because I knew there was no chance I was going to fall for him. My husband to this day does not know about this and I am not going to hurt him with it now as I know that I would not do it again and that it was the hurt I was feeling at the time that contributed to me doing it in the first place, and what we have now is too precious for that, but if he ever did anything to betray me in that way again I wouldn't even consider trying to rebuild again I would just call it a day. What he did made me consider a life on my own in a way I never had before and I found out that I could live that life and be happy and whilst I do love him I know that if he chose that path again he has learnt nothing from the past 4+ years and there would be no point in continuing.
Good Luck with your determination to forgive, I too have had feelings of guilt over what I did and I know it's not easy but then most things worthwhile usually aren't so stick with it :)
Carol
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