What Do You Think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
What Do You Think?
18
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 8:27am
Hey Everyone! Hope everyone had a great weekend!
I thought I'd open a philosophical discussion that has been weighing on my mind all weekend.
I have a very good friend that I have a great bit in common with. We have the same ideas and opinions on most things, except for religion.
She is a born-again Christian and believes that you are to take the bible word for word and not interpret into todays' standards, etc...She continually contradicts herself on things. I am pretty patient and hear her out without debating with her.
This weekend, my husband was talking about his gay brother. Our philosophy on him is that it is his life and he is happy so we are happy for him. Before he "came out," he was wasting his life away. After he met his significant other, he did a 360. I adore his significant other too. He is a great man. Very kind and willing to help anyone, anytime. She interrupted my husband and told him that he is going to hell and she will never forgive him for his choice. I told her I don't believe it had anything to do with choice and she said that he just needed to look harder for a "real" woman. I asked her what if her children told her they were gay, and she said she would have to stop loving them because the Bible says it is a sin. I was shocked! I never thought a mother would think that way because I could never! I tried not to be offended, but I blurted out out of disappointment that being a Christian means you accept everyone for who they are and never judge. This went on for a bit, and I told her that I am extremely spiritual and I have read the Bible along with other information on other religions as Buddhisim, Goddess Worship, etc. I told her I believe in God and Goddess and I respect the fundamentals of all religions. She said because I worship false idols and don't go through Jesus to get to God, I am going to Hell. I was shocked! She even said that Buddhist, the most peaceful religion, is evil!
I believe in Jesus too and I think he was a wonderful man, but I don't think he meant for his teachings to be interpreted this way. I think, personally, the way she is saying things sounds a bit racist. I am trying not to judge HER for her choice.
Besides her, I have been reading about movements of groups of born agains who think the same as her. I am not saying all. I know of some groups that are wonderful. These groups sound kind of cultish. Has anyone else encountered this "new" way of thinking? I have heard they are a growing population.
I used to bitch about Catholicsm, but they never taught this view of accepting Jesus BEFORE God, plus, if they are going by the Bible, wouldn't you accept God first and accept Jesus as the Son of God, not the other way around? To me, they are worshipping a false idol because they are worshipping pictures and statutes of Jesus instead of God. If you want to get precise on the whole "false idol" thing.I don't think Jesus wanted it that way.
Am I missing something? Am I wrong on this? This way of thinking is starting to really concern me. It reminds me of other extreme cult groups, i.e., Jonestown, Waco, etc... What do you think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 1:50pm

I have found that the people who are most susceptible to

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 6:54pm
Hi, there are a lot of people who don't believe what I do.
i don't focus on them. If someone is too way out or different
and it upsets me, I go the other way as it lowers my vibrations
and feelings of joy to be with negative energy or people I can't
really talk with. so, it doesn't matter what your friend thinks.
as an addiction nurse, i am more concerned about her drinking
and thoughts that she is right on all accounts, no room there for
her to accept you as you are. Maybe some day AA will find her
and she will broaden her thoughts.
We are all on our path and are doing what is perfectly right for us.
Love, leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2001
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 10:59pm
I agree. I think some people just need a stronger structure in their lives, have felt lost for a long painful time or even recognize they need rules and a focus for their lives that they were missing or unable to give themselves before. Religion can do that for a person. I also think when people are in a lot of psychic or inner pain, more rigid and directional type religions are more attractive, and often provide a strong support system and community and a safe haven that is lacking in their lives. Gypsy


Blessings,

Gypsy

)O(



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2001
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 11:12pm
Yes. As hard as it is to accept or wrap my brain around, I agree that things are happening as they should. Working on understanding this principle assures me that nothing is for naught. We all choose long before being born in a lifetime, what our purpose and evolutionary steps will be. Gypsy


Blessings,

Gypsy

)O(



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 6:41am
I agree! She needs help with her drinking and drug problems too. That's where I feel stuck too. In many, religion helps people who have addiction problems, BUT, then you see her father, who still drinks and still preaches about being "saved" and I realize that this how she was probably brought up her whole life! She has no self control because of it. It's funny that most people who have tough relationships with close families tend to either denounce religion or obsess about it. They HAVE to be looking for something more fulfilling.
I don't think her negativeness wears on me because I don't see her that often. She lives about an hour and 1/2 away, so I only see her every month or 2..and the "religion" debate doesn't usually start UNTIL the buzz does(ironically).It would be harder on me if I saw her everyday. She also knows she has probs with drugs (not a HUGE problem, but significant). When we talk about that, you can tell she wants to change.
I guess all I can do is just pray for her. When and if she wants to change, I will be there for her.
Love,
R-
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 2:45pm

Leila thanks for reminding me that "We are all on our path and are doing what is perfectly right for us". I do tend to forget that sometimes ;-)

None of us see the whole picture and times many things happen that are just tiny pieces of the puzzle and we don't know the significance until we are able to link them up with more pieces but all is happening as it should.

Carol

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2005
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 3:17pm

I don't think that the individual expected to receive such a response!

What your friend suffers from is complete negative thinking and walk (better yet run) from her. Her ideas are not the ideas of Jesus. While homosexuality is a sin (remember Genesis 19), we, as humans, are not judges of whether anyone is going to hell or not. The mere fact that your "friend" (a term I use very loosely)contradicts herself (found most of the time by some of those "I know the Bible" confused people) doesn't help her case. While I don't agree with his lifestyle, I cannot go on and judge him for what he does. I am not perfect (neither is your friend).

Pray for that woman and flee from her. You need to be with positive people not those who will be critical of your choices. And by the way, what gives her the right to talk to your husband and you that way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 6:37am
There is so much more to the history of this friendship that makes it hard just to run from her. My husband helped her through quite a few rough times when they were very young and he considers her family along with her husband. She is like a little sister to him that he has taken under his wing. My husband has a huge heart and the things she says, he laughs off. She has no one to talk to. She lives in a very rural area and her only neighbor within 20 miles is, you guessed it, her father.
It doesn't affect my feelings spiritually, but I do see pain inside her. Being spiritual and knowing she needs help, I don't feel I can just abandon our friendship. She does so much good too. She is generous and VERY honest (almost too honest!).
I understand everyones' point of views about the negativity and the wrong view of Jesus, but at some point, didn't we go by what we had learned from our parents too? We saw our ways out of their views and into our own. I can't judge her because she can't.
This way of extremist thinking is extremely concerning though and for the most part, very selfish. I believe nobody knows who is "saved" or if ANYONE is saved for that matter, until that day comes!
Love
R-

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