What does it mean?
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| Sun, 02-27-2005 - 7:51am |
It's weird isn't it how all of a sudden you know why you are drawn to a particular place!?! Well the other day several posts on here seemed to hit me all at once and made me realise that there are several issues from my childhood that I had never fully dealt with and I suddenly realised that I was meant to be here at that particular time they needed to be brought to light.
I have been overweight all of my adult life and I have known for some time that I am an emotional eater who nurtures myself with food but have not felt ready until recently to start to deal with my emotions, many of which stem from the still unresolved issues from my childhood.
What I am confused about though is what I do next. I keep hearing people say that they have 'worked through' an issue, but what exactly do they mean? HOW DO you work through an issue or an emotion? Does that mean they talked about it to someone or that they maybe gave themselves permission to think about the issue and feel the emotions until they just didn't feel them anymore? and how do you know when you've worked through it? In my family we were brought up to surpress our emotions with the belief that so long as you were OK on the outside you must be OK on the inside.
As you can see I'm very confused, but also excited to finally be facing up to things so any suggestions would be welcomed.
Thanks
Carol

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The first thing you need to to do is work your away down to the issue at the bottom of the heap, identify the emotion it evokes and go from there.
Good Morning Carol.
"In short, all good things in life are wild and free." ~Thoreau
I agree with the poster who said, even if nothing seems to be happening on the surface, you're still doing the work, just deeper down. Trust that. Trust your own inner voice, intuition and spirit. It's quite a journey to learn to trust and respect and love yourself enough! As for tools, there were two biggies in my life that helped me go within to figure some things out: t'ai chi and sitting meditation. Yoga is also very good. Solitude time daily to nurture yourself is very important, also. Journaling is a wonderful tool. :) Honor yourself and your need for your spiritual practice and alone time. You can't heal and you can't give as you would wish to others, if you don't take care of yourself first.
Blessings and strength on your Path,
Gypsy
Blessings,
Gypsy
)O(
When the student is ready, the teacher will come.
I think that was the first principle I learned as I started this path, and it's so true. As soon as you are open to the knowledge, it will be given to you. Sometimes faster than you're really ready for it. LOL
I've been working through some emotional issues recently too. For ME--and it's different for everyone, I'm sure--that means taking time to meditate on them. Think about all the options for where to go from where I am. Sometimes mentally going back to before or the beginning of the problem and visualize how I'd do things differently. Back away from the issue when it becomes too much for the moment, then come back at it from a different angle. I tend to be a really analytical person so I have to examine every little detail of the issue at hand and what it 'means.' I pray for guidance, and I try to be patient with myself on the timing of it. Sometimes resolution comes easily, sometimes it doesn't. But I keep reminding myself that I WILL get through it, and that it will happen when it's supposed to.
As for specifics... I quilt. The repetition and monotony of the stitching puts me in a meditative state. If I need a more physical release, I weed. As I physically clear out the weeds, I'm mentally clearing out the garbage too. And I read. A LOT. Both fiction and non-fiction. I leave myself open to whatever is sent to me, and I'm always surprised to find the characters in a novel experiencing the same exact emotions I'm trying to sort through.
(((Hugs))) to you!! And hope this helps. :-)
WOW, thank you to everyone who has replied and given me such wonderful advice. I am overwhelmed by the wisdom you have all shown.
Part of my problem I know has stemmed from the fact that until I discovered my husband's affair 4+ years ago I never allowed myself to feel deeply about anything. I didn't know what sadness was, but then neither had I felt joy or exhileration. Discovering this opened up the world of emotion to me and whilst most of the initial stages were hurt and pain, I also discovered what it was like to truly feel happiness for the first time in my life.
Dustbunny (I think it was) suggested that I talk a little bit about the specifics so I'll just give a brief history of what I am talking about. When I was 8 years old my dad died. We had never been close and indeed I do not remember a great deal about him other than from family holidays we had. Recently I had a reading done and was told that when I am sad my dad is there for me holding my hand. I hadn't realised up until this point how much I had missed having him around when I was growing up. Although I am the youngest of 7 children, the older 5 are close together in age and then there is a gap of 8 years before my sister and then another 4 years before I was born, so when my dad died the older ones had already left home and there was only my mum, my sister and me. My mum played favourites with my brothers and sisters and I was very aware of this from an early age. When I was 12 my sister who was then 16 was killed in a motorbike accident when a car pulled out without seeing the bike her boyfriend was riding. My mum fell apart and relied heavily on me for support. She had already been dating someone and when my sister was killed they decided to go ahead and marry, so within a few months I had lost my sister and had a new step-father living with me. We got on fairly well until I was about 14 when one night he indecently assaulted me. He never did it again but I never felt comfortable with him after that time. I also found it hard to understand why my mum had stayed with him after that when several years later (my step-dad had died by this time) I discovered that my mum had been abused by her own father from the age of 8 and had even had a baby by him when she was 17 who she had given up for adoption. When I was 22 he traced my mum and that is when the story came out. Because I never allowed myself to feel I never dealt properly with any of these things.
Now that I am open to emotion I know that before I was only living half a life. Even if all I ever feel in future are negative emotions, I would rather that than nothing. In fact I now believe that it was necessary for me to feel negative emotions in order that I would understand how wonderful the postive ones can be and this was what started to open me up to my spirituality.
I agree that I have already been working on things, I just had not realised before. I do try to meditate when I can, I do read A LOT too (lol) and I journal as well, though not as often as I shoul. I guess I need to focus more speficially on some of my issues when I do.
Thank you once again for all the wonderful insight you have given me.
Brightest Blessings
Carol
Hi Carol.
(((hugs))) Thanks for sharing. I am sorry for what you have had to go through. One thing that comes across is that it has made you a very loving & compassionate person. What a gift. I see and feel it in
"In short, all good things in life are wild and free." ~Thoreau
Hey Carol.
Check out the Reiki Healing board. There is a thread that has a great meditation. I thought of you. It is titled "Meditation for the week of Feb. 26" and is about healing the child within. It's really quite nice. They are under the health and well-being message boards. Oh duh...blonde moment...you can just hit on it at the top of this page...lol.
~Kristin
"In short, all good things in life are wild and free." ~Thoreau
Hi Carol!
I am so sorry to hear everything you are going or have gone through! I believe everyone has one very important issue that they are hear on this earth to overcome. Mine is smoking. Like you with eating, I am an emotional smoker. I know it can be frustrating to you when people say, "Why don't you just stop?" because I get that all the time. You probably almost feel envious too about people who overcome their problems that you seem like you can't do.
I believe the only way you can do it is to do it for yourself. I feel when people get on your case and start lecturing, it makes me want to smoke more. Never give up. Even if you can't completely stop emotional eating, don't discourage yourself because you had that piece of cake or ate too much during the day. I haven't completely quit smoking, but I have tried about a 100 times already and I am proud about the fact that I went from a pack and 1/2 to a 1/2 a pack. At least it helps my health a little bit. I just keep trying again and avoid putting myself down.
You definitely have to overcome what causes your overeating to fully conquer it and everyone's suggestions are great for that too. It also doesn't hurt to team up with a medical doctor and have him/her help set up a plan for you too.
I know eventually I will completely quit smoking and if you keep up a positive attitude, you will too. It may take time, or it may be tomorrow, just keep going and remember we will all give you encouragement and prayers through this tough time for you!
Hugs!
R-
Thank you Kristin for the idea. I have checked out the meditation and it is one I have done before but had forgotten about. I remember that it was quite effective so I will definitely use it again :-)
Thank you also for your very kind words.
Carol
Thank you virgogirl for your words of encouragement and congratulations for managing to cut your smoking down to only a third of what it once was. That is excellent progress
:-) I think that you are right and we must never give up on giving up whether it is we use as a crutch - smoking, drinking, overeating, undereating, abusing drugs, whatever, we should always keep trying to succeed to overcome it.
I've successfully dieted twice to my goal but could never figure out why the weight didn't stay off. For the millenium I resolved never to diet again and I am not going to break this resolve, but that doesn't mean that I don't intend to lose weight but in a healthy non-dieting way that introduces permanent changes into my lifestyle. I turned 40 in December 2004 and since then have become very conscious of the fact that I am playing with my health if I don't do something about my weight. I don't have any of the usual health problems associated with being overweight and that may be due to the fact that although I am an emotional eater I do try to eat a fairly healthy, balanced diet and I am fairly active throughout the day but I am concerned that if I do nothing now my health will deteriorate. It is my concern for my health that nudged me into making the decision to finally tackle the emotional issues that I have been avoiding.
Carol
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