Curious

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Curious
8
Wed, 03-16-2005 - 8:52pm

Do you think it's possible to learn to respect/admire someone you've known for a long time, or is that the sort of thing that's either there or not there?

What are your thoughts?

J.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2000
In reply to: jaye218
Wed, 03-16-2005 - 11:45pm

I don't know about *learning* to respect/admire someone, unless you've got issues where you currently don't respect anyone, and you're learning the concept & learning to apply it (not sure that's possible). As I have become more confident in my own skin (I guess that means grown up? LOL), I find I have more respect for EVERYONE, just because they exist. So in my case, at this point in time, I pretty much respect everyone till they do something that makes me STOP respecting them. Am I making even one iota of sense here?

but for a specific person, I don't think I could LEARN to respect them if I didn't already- I could, however, begin to respect/admire them if they do a deed or two that I would consider admirable. Does that make sense? If they did something that caused me to re evaluate who they are, what makes them tick.... That has happened a couple of times.



iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
In reply to: jaye218
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 3:10am

I'm assuming from the way you posed the question that for some reason you are talking about a person who you didn't respect previously but have recently come across a different side to them or uncovered information that perhaps puts things in a different perspective or something along those lines? I'm only guessing here that this may be the case, but if it is then I would think that it is possible to learn to respect/admire someone after a while.

I try not to judge people too harshly without knowing something at least about them. I'd like to say that I don't judge people at all but I'm not that far advanced in my enlightenment yet to claim that one, but I do try to treat everyone with respect and there are a few people that I admire but I think that respect and admiration are very different things. Respecting someone in my book should be a given no matter who they are or what they have done, but admiration for someone is something that is earned by observing the way they treat others and their actions. I think it is entirely possible to respect someone without having any admiration for them. Not sure if anyone else can understand what I'm trying to say here but that's how I feel about it.

Carol

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
In reply to: jaye218
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 9:16am
I agree with the previous posts. It is true that it is hard to respect someone you didn't before, but if they did something admirable, it could change your opinion of them. Everyone goes through courses in life. If I knew MYSELF a couple of years ago (looking from the outside)I wouldn't have respected or admired me!I think as people mature, some go down a destructive path and others change for the better, so it all depends on the situation.
Another example that comes to my mind from personal experience...Martha Stewart. She used to aggravate the crap out of me! I thought she was extremely snobby and only cared about how much money she made. That proved true. But, the way she took her punishment was pretty admirable and I have a feeling that her experiences have changed who she is inside now. Maybe I am wrong, but that's what I see.
It's up to you if you are willing to respect this particular person. If you think they will benefit your life, go for it! If not, don't waste another thought on them!
Love and Blessings,
R
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jaye218
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 4:02pm
Like the other posters, I think it would depend on the other person's actions. If I were to see a change, to see something admirable, then yes I could come to respect and admire them even if I hadn't before. We all change as evolve throughout our lives. I try to base my 'judgement' (for lack of a better term right now; I truly try NOT to judge) of a person on who they are NOW, not who they were 'then.'
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2001
In reply to: jaye218
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 6:47pm

In my view, respect must be earned by one's actions, not just words or achievements of some kind. At the same time you can ADMIRE someone without necessarily having to respect them. Respect to me is built on trust and integrity. A person has to demonstrate such before I can truly respect them, or keep respecting them.

Gypsy



Blessings,

Gypsy

)O(



iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
In reply to: jaye218
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 3:00pm

Who's Martha Stewart and what did she do?

Sorry I have never heard of her, but I am curious to know!

Carol

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
In reply to: jaye218
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 5:41pm
Oh My! I thought the whole world knew about Martha Stewart...the way she is on the news constantly! See what media can do? She is a woman who is (or was) considered the domestic goddess in America. She had a TV show that made millions and would show people how to cook and decorate extravagantly, she directed people on how to start intricate gardens, etc....At her peak, she developed a line of domestic goods that can be purchased through Kmart called Martha Stewart Everyday. A few years back, rumors came about that she was a plain snobby bitch to put it bluntly...Very controlling and rude to her crew who worked with her on her show etc... I could never watch her show because she made me feel the same way because her designs, cooking, etc...were pretty unrealistic to me. It made me feel that us common folk could never really do the things she showed. A couple years ago, she was wrapped up in a federal scandal due to a few thousand stocks she had of a company called Enron. She sold her stock before the public knew about the drop in gain and the FEDS say she had inside information about it. She was sentenced to 5 months of jail and 5 months house arrest.
When she was sentenced, I expected that she would fight the jail sentence like every other celebrity would try to do, but she denied appeals and took her punishment. She just got out of federal prison a couple weeks ago and from reports, she seems to have befriended quite a few inmates, made dinners for them and still keep in touch with them. She also has a different aura about her. Like she saw how other people lived and it changed her outlook on life. I guess we'll see if that rings true in the next few months.
Funny thing is about the whole situation is that she was going broke before she went to jail, but during the time she was in jail, they skyrocketed and now she is worth over a billion dollars...maybe that's why she is so happy! LOL
I guess you have to see the way she acted in the old days to understand what I am talking about. Some people LOVED her though, so I guess it is just my opinion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
In reply to: jaye218
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 1:53pm

Thanks for sharing that with me. From what you describe it does sound like she has changed an awful lot and for the better. This may have been a life lesson that she was in need of learning and it sounds like she did that spectacularly with millions watching from the sidelines.