Relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Relationship
5
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 11:45am

Hi everyone,

I have been angry at my SIL for few days for ignoring my DH and I. I have become obsessed with these angry thoughts and I don't want to be. Does anyone know a saying or prayer that I can tell myself to calm down and let these thoughts go??

thanks

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
In reply to: cabje
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 12:21pm

Hi!

I know how you feel. I have had problems with in-laws that have caused anger and resentment in the past. If you have it in you that you want to calm your feelings towards this person, you have taken the first step. Any prayer of forgiveness, even if it was you invent for your situation will work because you are affirming positive thoughts instead of negative ones. The feelings may never just go away, but at least they will settle down a bit and you'll know in your heart your making a difference.
Nobody can like everybody but anybody can tolerate everone. I think forgiveness is one of the hardest things we struggle with in our life. I find if I don't let these negative people drain the energy out of me, then they are only hurting themselves. Most of the time, too, people who give off negative energy are hiding long buried emotions in themselves and they use their attitude to cover them up. My sister is like that. When she gets on my nerves, I think of that and not the rampage she is on that particular moment.
I don't know any prayers or meditations that can help, because I usually make mine up depending on the situation I am trying to work on. I do know that there are many people here who know of great exercises you can do and also great ideas that can help you.
Take care of yourself!
Love and Blessings,
Robbyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: cabje
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 3:56pm
Maybe write everything out that's happened, all your feelings, all the details, then burn it. For many, this helps to literally get it all out of your head. Then burning signifies releasing it to a Higher Power.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2001
In reply to: cabje
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 9:33pm

When I have some negative strong emotion that I want to get rid off (it damages me, physically, emotionally and spiritually) I usually do a candle ritual. To get rid of anger, I think I would use a pink candle for love & compassion & harmony. On a small slip of paper I would write down the anger. Then I would light it from the candle and let it burn to ashes, symbolizes the anger leaving me. I would visualize with the pink candle sending love & harmony & peace toward the person I am angry with, and visualize them surrounded in a pink glow, and pink energy flowing between us. Sit somewhere where you won't be disturbed at all, perhaps have some peaceful instrumental New Agey kind of music on, softly. And sit facing the candle, and watch the flame, and breathe in & out slowly and fully.

For physical release, I do some intense exercise, like walking, running, go to the gym; also yoga or t'ai chi practice is good to rebalance your energy/chi.

Hope this helps! :)

Gypsy



Blessings,

Gypsy

)O(



iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
In reply to: cabje
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 3:13pm

I have a visualisation you could try if you want.

Find somewhere quiet where you can be undisturbed and make yourself comfortable. Close your eyes and put your feet firmly on the ground. Let them become heavy and relaxed and sense yourself becoming grounded.

Put your hand over your heart centre and allow yourself to relax letting the tension flow out of your body.

Imagine a golden ball of light in the Universe above you. Know that this ball is pure love and wisdom. Watch as it moves slowly down towards you until it rests gently on your crown centre. Feel your scalp relaxing. Now allow it move down into your mind, soothing your mind and filling your consciousness with love.

Then allow it to flow down and rest in the palm of your hand. Sense it's warmth and let it move into the centre of your chest right into your heart centre. Feel as it expands and fills your chest with love.

In front of you imagine yourself and the person with whom you are angry. Look at the wall between you. Notice what colour it is, then begin to disolve the wall with golden love from your heart centre.

As the wall comes down look at the person opposite and really listen to what they would say. Truly listen and hear.

Understand the person's fear that has made them treat you as they have. Forgive them for having done so and then forgive yourself to your reaction to the hurt.

Now open your eyes and start to think about the person in a more loving way.

*You may like to record anything that you feel or think at this point.

Hope this helps, but whatever you try let us know how you get on.

Blessings
Carol

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: cabje
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 5:51pm

I often go back to the Serenity Prayer, and truly think about what I'm saying.


God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,