How Far Will You Go To Help Another?
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How Far Will You Go To Help Another?
| Fri, 06-24-2005 - 6:59am |
Hey All!
Happy Friday!
How far will you go to help another?
My daughter became close friends with a little girl over the last few months. The little girl has 2 small siblings under the age of 2.
I have let her sleep over here, but I don't trust her father enough to let them keep her over night. He has a long rap sheet of larceny, theft, and numerous drug possessions (cocaine). The mother is nice, but between them both, it's only been her income because he's having a hard time finding a job obviously. She works at McDonald's 3 days a week.
He has been off drugs for 8 months now and that is a great accomplishment..I hope he sticks to it.
It really upset me the last time I went to their house and she invited me in...they didn't even have an oven! I talked to my husband about maybe trying to find a laborer position at his job, He went through quite a bit to hire him on, but got him work. They are very appreciative of it, but this morning, they were driving in his mothers' truck to meet my husband for work and got pulled over for warrants out on his mom! It seems like they have bad luck follow them!
I take their little girl for a couple of days at a time and she is a sweetheart. I don't mind her being here at all.
I don't want to be walked all over either because I tend to have a problem with saying no. I believe people should be given second chances and he seems to have cleaned up his act. They do random drug testing and he's going to all his meetings, etc.
I have always went by the motto, "If you do something good, you get it back tenfold".
How do you feel about helping others? How far do you go? How and when do you say "NO" when the situation worsens?
I thought this would be good food for thought...considering I am wide awake from getting a knock at my door at 6am because he missed meeting my husband for work when he got stopped on his mom's warrant (what have I gotten myself into? LOL)
Love and Blessings,
R-
Happy Friday!
How far will you go to help another?
My daughter became close friends with a little girl over the last few months. The little girl has 2 small siblings under the age of 2.
I have let her sleep over here, but I don't trust her father enough to let them keep her over night. He has a long rap sheet of larceny, theft, and numerous drug possessions (cocaine). The mother is nice, but between them both, it's only been her income because he's having a hard time finding a job obviously. She works at McDonald's 3 days a week.
He has been off drugs for 8 months now and that is a great accomplishment..I hope he sticks to it.
It really upset me the last time I went to their house and she invited me in...they didn't even have an oven! I talked to my husband about maybe trying to find a laborer position at his job, He went through quite a bit to hire him on, but got him work. They are very appreciative of it, but this morning, they were driving in his mothers' truck to meet my husband for work and got pulled over for warrants out on his mom! It seems like they have bad luck follow them!
I take their little girl for a couple of days at a time and she is a sweetheart. I don't mind her being here at all.
I don't want to be walked all over either because I tend to have a problem with saying no. I believe people should be given second chances and he seems to have cleaned up his act. They do random drug testing and he's going to all his meetings, etc.
I have always went by the motto, "If you do something good, you get it back tenfold".
How do you feel about helping others? How far do you go? How and when do you say "NO" when the situation worsens?
I thought this would be good food for thought...considering I am wide awake from getting a knock at my door at 6am because he missed meeting my husband for work when he got stopped on his mom's warrant (what have I gotten myself into? LOL)
Love and Blessings,
R-

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Robynn--
You're fantastic to help out a neighbor.
It was funny, because the other day, I was talking to the mother of another little girl my daughter is friends with and, as soon as I got on the phone with her, she warned me these people will get very clingy and take as much as they can get from you.
The next day, the "clingy" mom stopped by unexpectantly again and asked me to drive her and her 3 kids to the airport on Tuesday! I have a small Dodge Stratus that only fits 5 and I had no one to drop my kids off to to drive them, so I said I couldn't. She started bringing up that she would put her 2 small children (under the age of 2 and 1/2) on the laps of my kids because she didn't want to pay the 40 dollars for an airport van to pick them up!
I said absolutely NOT...but she still kept pressuring me...telling me I could leave my kids with some friends of hers I don't even know!
From what everyone has said on the board and my experiences over the week with this couple, I can definitely say now that sometimes NOT helping someone too much might be best for them...it may teach them to learn to do things on their own and not rely on everyone else to do their responsibilities!
What really opened my eyes was the fact that they are supposedly so poor they can't afford food for their kids, but they can pay for airline tickets and go away for 2 weeks...something I have been wanting to do and saving for for over a year and 1/2 now!
Sorry for ranting...but I do feel better now that I got that out!
Love,
R-
Hi, in addiction, there are a lot of questions and gray areas
because it is a disease of relapse. he can do it if he sticks to hanging
around with the right people and practicing his program. Doesn't seem that
you are doing anything out of the range where you would be enabling etc
It takes time for people to clean up their acts, things follow for a while, like lack
of trust, bills, paroles anything that built up when using drugs. There is a lot of
growth in program. He is going in the right direction.
If you are really getting involved with this family and want to help, go to some
alanon meetings in your area. They are everywhere. It is for people who care about
people with addictions. You will learn a lot about the disease and how to deal with all this.
It will help your daughter also, the 12 step programs are the best free therapy i've ever seen.
love, Leila ps you can always write me on my e-mail with any ?'s about addiction. I have
worked in the field for 20 years. Should be in my profile.
Well, I'm not exactly sure what the chemical composition of crank is...but the drug looks like cocaine and the user either snorts or (for more serious users) injects it. The end result is a high like speed. It's VERY addictive...I was engaged to this fiancee 20 years ago so I don't even know if the stuff is still around...not being a substance user myself. I'm kind of a light weight when it comes to alcohol and drugs. The strongest thing I take is vitamins, LOL.
I'm sorry about the bad peer influence on your son--how old is he? The reason I ask is because if he is younger, you have some degree of control but if he is a teen or older, I guess it must be pretty heartbreaking to watch your son be manipulated...then again, manipulation is a like a spell and your son could very well break free of it. People do. Keep the faith, but keep your guard up too! Yank
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