Very discouraged...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Very discouraged...
6
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 11:36pm

Had a terrible day today, just awful...I've been at a new job for six months...for a promotion and what I thought was a dream job...I've bent over backwards to help this company centralize their finances, welcoming employee ideas and input, etc. but today, when I called one of the employees to warn her she's overbudget and offer my assistance in making it right, she bit my head off and refused to curb her spending...I noticed that the supervisor didn't want to call, instead she asked me to do it. I think she knew this was a problem employee.

After the call, I was so shaken by this person's hostile response, I wrote an email detailing what happened, said I had the best interest of the company at heart but that I did all I could and if we are overspent at the end of the year, this is a factor. I asked management to deal with her. I cc'd my boss and her boss. The supervisor called me into the office and suggested we have a sit-down with the employee to "improve our relations"...I refused, said, no, I'm not angry at all, just don't understand that kind of hostility (can't be personal, I barely know this person!) and that I didn't want to be roped into a personality conflict because this wasn't one at all, at least not to me. I told her I thought this was a problem employee...a management issue...she didn't deny it but she's not exactly supporting me either.

I was hired to do this job but it appears that folks see me as an intruder--they do not appear to want my help or expertise and they are spending their money as fast as possible so it will be gone by mid-year, which is when I'm supposed to take over spending for all. My supervisors are sympathetic but they are not exactly backing me up either...they don't seem able to get control over the employees and effectively communicate this decision to centralize finances. Did they think I could pull it off all by myself? I'm not a supervisor, I have no such title! I don't think this can be done in a vacuum, decisions and discipline should come from management, right? Maybe I made a mistake...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 9:29am
Sounds like you are very good at your job and that
you were just doing what they pay you to do. the hostile
lady, that is about her and not you. There are lots of things that make people
hostile, maybe she was yelled at when she was a child and this
played into buttons of disapproval, maybe she was sexually abused.
Never know I am a psyc nurse (:- ) Maybe she is resistent to changing
her ways. Somehow you pushed her buttons. Management: They
are supposed to manage people, looks like that is not their greatest
skill, they seem to think you are better at it. It would not be the worst
thing in the world to meet as a 3 some, to explain better in person
what you meant. You can never be wrong if you use certain rules
like: start with the word, "I" not "you" ie: "you did this" makes people defensive.
tell her what a good job she does in other ways, explain the budget,
show her the paper work, ask if she needs help in revamping. Make her feel
worthwhile. You can say, " I am worried when or when you do this, I feel
concern that blah blah. When people got to me at another job, I would
go in the bathroom and pray and visualize a gold light in me burning
off all the negative energy around me, surround myself with white light and say
I am not absorbing their stuff. when i came on too strong, I appologized.
I would know by the unease inside of me. sometimes we women need
to calm down and feel peaceful before talking or acting on a situation.
Next time you could tell your boss, let me think about it.
you will feel in control shortly. You are just dealing with "people"
we are all so imperfect, give them permission to be imperfect.
I hope I have helped and have seen your issue clear enough to
comment. Love, Leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 9:39am

From a corporate standpoint, what you did wrong was to include her boss in the e-mail.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 10:56am

Yankee.....what a rough situation to deal with.

Shyla

  

Avatar for merlins_own
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 4:57pm
My take is that management created your position so they don't have to do the "dirty work." You take the hostility from others, yet you have no authority over them, so you can't effect change. Lousy to put you in the middle like this, and then not even back you up! That stinks. Leadership and guidance must come from management, and they must have the authority to so. Lousy management style when they don't exercise their authority and give direction. These people spending all the money sound like they are taking out their own frustrations on you, taking revenge. Sick. If you're not going to get backup and support from your supervisor, is there any way to rethink this position? Prayers to the Goddess to guide you...

Merlins_Own

AS ABOVE, SO BELOW!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 6:20pm

This post is to everyone but I couldn't figure out how to post to all...thank you for these responses...you've given me a lot to think about. BTW, merlin, I thought the whole thing stunk too, since they completely missed the ethical spending issue, just so they wouldn't have to deal with a difficult employee.

I have been so distressed by this week's events. However, my boss told me yesterday that they are "reconsidering" the incident between me and this other (problem) employee...that they now realize they need to rewrite my job description so that I either have more authority or scale things back a bit so that I will not be responsible if things go awry. At least they admitted that I was not at fault for asking the person to reconsider her spending. We are meeting next week to discuss the matter.

I suppose I should have stated clearly that this money I am spending is government money, a responsibility I take very, very seriously. I do not want to do anything unethical, even if it happens inadvertantly and I must go over heads to get clarification. That was why I wrote the email and cc'd folks, so I'd have a trail.

But merlin is right, they hired an outsider because many of these folks have worked together so long, it would be hard for them to force underlings whom they've grown fond of to do something against their will. Enter new person: me. They just forgot to give me the management title.

Yesterday came the biggest surprise of all...we have a new dept. head who plans to put an end to this hothead employee's tantrums...seems one of her people was targeted by the same person who went off on me! I was asked to forward all her incriminating emails to the new dept. head...who told me she's gonna go to the top to get the matter resolved. We'll see...

Avatar for merlins_own
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 10:18pm
Hey, it sounds like things may be changing, to your favor. That's great! About the new dept. head -- good deal. As far as that person who blew up at you -- looks like she may get her Karma back in her face. What goes around comes around...in the Universe's own good time. I applaud your integrity, also, in working to see the money goes where it's supposed to.

Merlins_Own

AS ABOVE, SO BELOW!