NEW HERE AND COULD USE SOME PRAYERS

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
NEW HERE AND COULD USE SOME PRAYERS
5
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 8:21pm
Hello I am new here to this board but not to ivillage I have lurked on this board for a while so I thought I would stop in and say hi. My name is Sue and I have two kids one DD who is 9 and on DS who is 7. I have been married for 10 years and 6 months. My Dh told me back in May that he wanted a divorce from me and I have tried everything to get him to change his mind. Well on July 13 he severed me with the petion that he had filed for a divorce. I am still not giving up on my marriage  until the judge says it is over. We have had great marriage yes we have had our up's and downs just like any relationship. But I believe in my heart that we can work this out if he will just be willing to try too. I went out and bought a new book that is called the "The Power Of A Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian.  From reading this book it shows me that I have been praying for God to fix my marriage all wrong. I need to ask God to change me in order for me to help my DH. So while I am going about my way in praying for my Dh and for my self I thought it would help if I could get other people to pray with me. I know that God works in his own time frame. But I also know that I have two months to get my husband to change his mind or this will go through. I love my husband with all my heart and I want our marriage to last the way we both always thought it would. I have my church members praying for me and my Dh so I am asking if you ladies and Gentleman could pray for me and my Dh also. Thank you all so very much and God Bless you all.






 
wildthing siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 10:10pm

Welcome, Sue.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-28-2005 - 8:18pm
Dear Sue,
I have also been there, I think we all have had loss. I had one divorce
that I wanted because I really wasn't in love with him. He was a good man.
Good dad. I was full of guilt and my life got harder in some ways.
Second husband died, not a divorce but pain. I have had break ups,
last man friend who lived with me, got up and left after 2 years, no hint. he
always made me feel like the soul mate. I was crushed.
your husband has a reason. I don't want to hurt you but what if he has another
woman and you are praying for him to come back, if he told you I'd like you to change
in a particular way so he'd be more content, that is worth considering. he got papers,
he seems to be going straight ahead with this. are you angry, what are you feeling?
are you scared? maybe the marriage has for some reason come to
a close, maybe to reopen
10 years from now. No one knows. i get the feeling there is something he hasn't
told you and that you are trying to
be the nice good person and keep showing love to him and hope.
I am not saying not
to be a loving person. I think you need some explainations so
you can go ahead with your grieving and life.
Keep writing here, you'll get a lot of love and understanding. People
can help you process and figure some things out. Hey, Sue, my friend,
get a good therapist and lawyer. Make sure you don't get screwed
because you are so sweet. I don't mean to sound negative. I can pray
for God's will in this situation, the best for the 2 of you and for strength
and courage to see this situation through. A therapist can help you sort it all out
so you can get some reality on this one way or another and support you.
Much love and hugs,Leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 5:32pm


Divorce is tough.

Shyla

  

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Sat, 07-30-2005 - 5:48am

Hi Sue and welcome. I'm sorry to hear about the way things are going with your marriage at the moment and I will pray for the best possible outcome for you.

I've not been through divorce, though have come very close to it and I have been through painful experiences that at the time I would have done anything not to have gone through. In the end I have come through them a much stronger person, though at the time it was soooo hard and I remember the pain experienced so I really do feel for you and what you are going through. Remember whatever happens you will come through it and things will get better. When my marriage nearly ended I would have let my husband walk away without trying to stop him, not because I didn't love him or becuase I didn't think the marriage wasn't worth trying to save but because in the long-term I needed to know that HE made the choice to stay and that he had not done so because I had made him feel guilty or for any other reason than he wanted to. It took us more than 3 years to get things properly back on track so it was by no means easy and we separated twice during that time, both at my request. The first time was early on and only lasted two weeks, but the second was 3 years later and lasted almost 6 months. Now I feel content that we are still together because it is what we both want and my self-respect and self-esteem remain intact.

Reading over this it sounds like I am a very strong person who knows her own mind and sticks to what she wants, but I can assure you that I am not. I was terrified, hurting and didn't have a clue where my life was going so I was also very scared. I'd never faced anything like that in my life before and my thoughts, my emotions and my decisions were all over the place and I could change my mind from one minute to the next because I really didn't know what to do.

All I can say is hang in there and be true to you by really listening to your heart and soul. I know that is hard when your faced with situations like this as concentration is difficult as your mind jumps around from one thing to another constantly but do try and take time out. If you can't stay still, take a walk in nature. It is soothing and can help you feel more peacful. If you can write down in a journal everything you feel, what you are afraid of etc and keep writing here. Build up a network of support on the boards and in your real life and you will come through this.

(((((Hugs))))) and Blessings ~Carol~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Sat, 07-30-2005 - 10:02am

Hi, Sue ..


Welcome to the family, hon.