Breaking Patterns
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| Tue, 08-02-2005 - 5:51am |
Five years ago I was soooooo bored in my job I would have done almost anything to get out of it and do something different. After some major changes in my life I took the opportunity to return to college and get my masters degree. During the four years it took to study I helped out in a job I had left several years before and quite enjoyed doing so. I graduated earlier this year and as I was planning to do my masters degree took the job on a permanent basis to fit it in with this. My plans now have changed and I find myself back in the old job, getting bored, not feeling the way I did about it when it was 'temporary', not knowing what direction to take and starting to feel trapped again due to bills and finances. I've even found myself repeating my old patterns in the actual job.
Any advice on how to start breaking these patterns would be much appreciated. Has anyone managed to change their patterns and break free of them and if so how did you manage it? I think in part it is due to lack of confidence to do something different but I don't know how to get the confidence.
~Carol~

I would personally get some therapy. You have come a long
way with your education, something to be proud of. What are
your degrees in? Does your job have anything to do with
your education?
Is there a part of you that thinks you don't deserve more?
Maybe get out those affirmations. " I am a bright, accomplished
woman who deserves to be happy and to blossom in the right job"
What happened in your life, did you have parents who did not
show value to you? Seems you did a lot to get away from where
you were only to return to it? Maybe that was the only job availabe
and you are there temporarily for the money?? There are spaces to fill in.
Old pattern, fears?????? a good therapist would be wonderful.
Do you have interview experience? What are youir qualifications?
Love, Leila
Hi Leila in answer to your questions my degree is in psychology but I work as a legal secretary so they are not connected.
Mostly I have been feeling OK with things and have been looking forward to the future but the realisation that I am slipping back into these patterns is scary mainly because I remember how I felt before and how hard it was to change and I thought I had broken free of all that.
I don't have interview experience and the thought of a formal one sends me into a cold sweat. I do however have a informal interview scheduled for Thursday to get a place on a hypnotherapy course but I am starting to question my competence in this kind of area when I'm slipping backwards with my own patterns.
I think though that affirmations may be a great way to build myself up over the next few days. Thanks for that.
~Carol~
Sounds like you want to change fields? Or maybe you've outgrown the old occupation?
I just made a job change to middle management, it's a completely different world here...but, the skills from some of my other careers have helped me enormously...in ways I never imagine. Although I've had to "run the gauntlet" in my current job, I love the work, and feel as though things are improving each day.
When I realized I wanted something more years ago, this is what I did:
If there is a professional organization for the field of your choice, do join and participate via email, meetings, whatever they do. Subscribe to professional trade journals.
Substitute or volunteer in a place you'd consider working permanently...they will get to know you and your work. In my case, it lead to a full-time job. (I subbed on the weekends for 3 years here). I had small children so I couldn't do a lot in this area.
I was bored at my old place of employment and the potential for advancement was not great (that's another story)...the minute I began making professional overtures in the field of my choice, I felt and acted more confident. This whole process took several years but, I think it was worth it and helped me feel as though I was working toward something. When I got hired in this current position, people at my former place of employement were shocked...they couldn't figure out how I did it, LOL.
don't confuse them. stay confident. I had a strong feeling that
you are having trouble with the thought of interviewing. I say,
interview with everything you can find, whether you want it or not.
get the practice, there are great books out. role play with friends.
I would love to role play with you. I am sure you don't live near me.
(;- ) I don't think you are SLIPPING. You are just surviving and need to
find out what is making you so incsecure. you are in psyc. What would you tell
someone like you???????? Once you keep putting one foot in front of the
other ir will get easier. A good therapist who really talks with you can
really help get the kinks out. Is it fear or are you just a little nervous?
Love, Leila
Leila, thanks for all your advice. Just wanted to let you know that I am in the process of applying for other jobs. I've decided only to apply for those that really appeal on paper not just anything I see and take it from there.
~Carol~
Love, Leila