I'm so Lost

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
I'm so Lost
14
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 2:06am
I'm so lost, can someone please help. This is the situation. I have been with my current boyfriend 11 years. We got engaged about 5 yrs ago. We have have alot of problems off and on for 11 yrs. He bought a house 5 yrs ago and I have been paying 1/2 the mortgage ever since. Since losing my job 6 wks ago he has been paying full mortgage and all bills, I have been paying for all groceries, my bills and whatever I could help out with. He has told me several times during an argument that he never intended to marry me, that he only got me the ring because that's what women want, hurt me so much with his words, but stayed because I have no money to get out on my own. He told me tonight that I really need to get a job because we are falling behind on our bills, but I'm starting to get a thick skin and I told him that I was not going to pay him back for the money I havent been able to pay him, he said he would not give me a bill but that he needs help. I feel guilty because I am the one who talked him into buying this house in the first place. My parents gave us 4,000 for a down payment and I gave him money to re-carpet the whole house, plus bought paint, curtains, red rock for the landscape and a wood burning stove for the family room, not to mention a whole lot more for HIS house. My son who is 18 works at the local grocery store from 11 pm to 7 am was sleeping and I told fiancee at 10 pm I was going to wake him at 10 pm and make him something to eat, and fiancee said" I baby him, to let him do for himself,he can make his own food, well my response was that I do all the housework and laundry for everyone, and I enjoy doing for my son that I may not have him around too much longer and he should worry about his own 16 year old son. Tonight was it for me, but I'm trapped here with no job. I am so unhappy and just dont know a way out. Finacee is going through a really tough time because his 16 year old son totaled 2 cars and got 2 tickets within 10 days, insurance has gone from 100.00 per month to almost 400.00 a month and he is not working to support his mistakes, everyone keeps bailing him out. His girlfriends grandmother bought him his 3rd car, and he is going to pay her back. I feel as though I'm being used for the money to help with his insurance payments. Now his has a third car and has only had his license for just over 2 mos. Sorry so long but what can I do??????? Any advice would help. Irish

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
In reply to: irish553
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 3:03pm
Hi ginger cookie, thanks for writing. I am doing ok, I am just mad at myself. I spoke with BF on the phone just a little while ago and told him once I get a job I will move out. I feel sad and kinda lifeless right now, but I know this will pass. I know he wont kick me out if I dont have a place to go, so I know my son and I are ok for the time being. Even though I feel an ending coming, I still feel somewhat strong at the moment, like I know what I need to do and I just need to do it. I can contact a lawyer, however BF has no money to give me, I will basically be walkig out with nothing and starting over. I am actually looking forward to a new beginning. Guess what card I pulled today, "seven of pentacles", interesting, it says we are called upon to decide between the security of what we have built and the shaky uncertain possibilities of a new direction which may or may not lead to future success, and so on. Do you have any thoughts about this card? I will keep in touch and appreciate your support. Thank you....Irish
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
In reply to: irish553
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 3:41pm

Irish, I don't have any advice to offer except hang on in there. I'm sure your finding this board right at this very moment when you need support was all part of the plan. We will all be here for you as much as we can and will help in any way we can.

(((((Huge Hugs))))) ~Carol~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: irish553
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 5:31pm



Seven of Pentacles
Upright: Effort and hard work will cause growth, a pause during development, reevaluations

Reverse: Little progress, impatience, anxiety, investments may be unprofitable


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
In reply to: irish553
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 6:25pm
Hi ginger cookie, Thanks for all your help. It's weird, everyday when I pull a card for myself it seems to fit somehow. I wont give up. My goal is to live back east where my family is within the next year. My oldest daughter moved back there a year ago, her dad lives there as well as my family. I have my 18 year old here and he does not want to move back at this time. If I left him, he would be all alone here with no family, that kills me. I spoke with him today about getting a 2 berdoom apartment within the next few months after i get back to work. I told him I would cover the rent. He has alot of stuff and seemed concerned about where we would put everything, but I told him we will figure it all out. I like the word POWER, I do have power as to what will happen in my future. You've been great and extremely helpful, I will keep in touch. Irish

Pages