Our Shadow Self

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Our Shadow Self
11
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 3:25pm

We all have certain aspects of our character that we don't like and/or try to hide such as anger, nastiness, jealousy etc. Do you think that we should accept and love all aspects of ourselves even the less desireable ones or do you think that we should try and change these things?

Often we get so hung up on these things that we fail to see the good in ourselves and feel tremendous guilt and shame for the things we see as bad.

I know that I have one major nasty trait that I've never particularly noticed until quite recently. I had a karma reading done at the end of last year and this particular trait was a big element of my character in my life before this one, eventually getting me into serious trouble. Since this reading I have noticed just how often and in how many situations similar thoughts of behaving in this way occur to me and I have realised how this has always been a part of my character, though in this life I have only acted upon it once several years ago and would hope that I would never do so again.

I'm just not really sure if I should accept it as being a hang over from this previous life but not act upon it in this life and try to love it or if I should try to change the thoughts, which is what I have been trying to do, reminding myself that it is not a way I would wish to act.

Any thoughts anyone, please share.

~Carol~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 4:05pm
There is some ambiguity, so for me. i try to appologize to the universe
for anything I ever did that was crappy or mean or hurtful and get back to the present.
Any of the past was lessons to bring me to where I am now.
When things reappear, I redo the process. I am a gal that has nothing under the bed,
meaning, although I am not perfect, when I see something to work on, I go for it.
I do love myself, I understand my hang ups, attempt to work with them as well as i can.
Like eating for the wrong reasons. I keep a normal weight but I like to eat a lot. I always
want to be 5 lbs less. I tend to depression so I keep being positive and i try not to do resentments.
When they appear I talk about it and do prayers for the person I have feelings about. I try to
keep a clean slate and appologize when I need to and that keeps the slate clean so to speak.
I doubt if I answered your question. (:- ) Love, Leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 6:43pm
While I believe we should accept and love ourselves completely as we are, accepting doesn't mean not changing something that isn't healthy or isn't in our best interest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 6:58pm
I was thinking, there are some things I can't
change like my super sensitivity. I have lots of astological water signs.
I can learn to deal with it in a healthier way than the past, or impulsivity.
you take a deep breath and think it out. Love, Leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 10:06pm

I believe we can heal from negative emotions that control us on occasion.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 6:00am
yes, intuition. For example, that is a good place for my sensitivity.
Good for my work, I can tell what is going on with others. I can read people better.
I used to write poetry, probably because of my sensitivity. We also teach others
what we ned to hear ourselves, so we are always teaching ourselves to grow.
Know what I mean?? I have a new imac and I love this computer.
Love, Leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 4:03pm

"Any of the past was lessons to bring me to where I am now."

I think that is probably very true in this case. Hopefully I learnt enough from the last life to not follow the same path in this. The thoughts of the behaviour are there but I am able to immediately dismiss them.

~Carol~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 4:05pm

Thanks Ginger, i've been thinking of it as an either/or situation, you've made me realise it's possible that i could accept and love myself and still desire the change.

~Carol~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 4:09pm

Thanks for the encouragement Barbara. I too believe that in order to change things you have to first acknowledge that they are there. Well the Universe has given me plenty of opportunity to see it for myself and I do now accept that it is part of my character so hopefully I can now begin the make the changes.

~Carol~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 6:52pm
Oh I'm so glad you got something out of it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 9:54pm

Hi Carol, I tend to think that if a trait is still there from a past life, it's there for a reason. We still have work to do. There's still something to learn or teach from it. We don't have to always think in 'good and bad, right and wrong' terms either. Just accept it for what it is, see how it serves you and change or keep it accordingly.
I'm not one for believing that because it's a 'carry over' it's meant to stay or cause us grief. It could simply be unfinished biz. Always do what serves you best inside, see how you feel doing and not doing, your feelings will be your true answer.

Love to you,
Betsy

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