Life Manual

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2004
Life Manual
3
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 2:48pm

I need a life manual. And when situations arise, I could say "hold on just a sec" go to my manual and find out how to handle the situation at hand.

I work so hard to get myself to a place of peace and feel good about myself. But what happens to me is....I give my power away too easy. Someone can say something to me and I get depressed or I get mad or hurt I don't know how to keep the inner peace. How does one do this? I don't want to stay in my house all the time so that I can keep my peaceful feeling. How do I stop myself from reacting. I do 1 of 2 things. I either over react or I act like it's not big deal which sends the following message. First example sends the msg that I'm weak and that I can't handle my emotions the 2nd sends the message that it's okay to treat me that way. I can't find the gray area the balance, How do I acheive this?

Any ideas?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2004
In reply to: elizabethride
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 3:22pm

It's kind of like losing weight. It's easy to get there, staying there is HARD. Try not taking anything personal. When you put yourself in someone else's shoes and figure out where they are coming from, it doesn't affect you as much. People do what makes sense to them at the time, given their view. It may not be their intent to hurt another but if your perception is off even an inkling that someone outside of yourself can hurt you then you'll feel some pain.
If we're looking for approval from anyone but ourselves we're setting ourselves up for hurt. Many people can't seperate the approval they sought out from their parents with that of others. Until you come to the realization that we each own our feelings, you give your power to others.
I hope this made some sense. I didn't really answer the second part of your question, I have to go stir the potatoes!

Betsy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: elizabethride
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 7:42pm
when I am in disaray I love therapy. Sometimes our needs are
because of what is lacking in childhood. The old approval need.
Support while making a change.
plus it is all a lesson and a test. Would we learn anything if all the people we talk to are like us,
think like us, act like us, have the same emotional make up as us?
As I said, besides the spiritual side, i love therapy when I need that xtra help.
Love, Leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: elizabethride
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 6:41pm

Hi, Elizabeth, and welcome to the board.