Finding your bliss

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2002
Finding your bliss
5
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 11:49am

Hello,

I recently watched the DVD of “The Power of Myth,” a special that aired on PBS in 1987 with Bill Moyers and I was instantly hooked on the work of Joseph Campbell. I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with him, but it was illuminating to discover how we can use stories from all of the great religious traditions to navigate our own lives by listening to the universal wisdom that was passed down throughout the ages. Instead of focusing on a literal translation, we can read these stories as metaphors for life, unlocking the keys to happiness and fulfillment.

There was a specific segment on “sacrifice and bliss” that really challenged me because I’ve been struggling for years to find my place in this crazy world. Very recently, the theme of “living authentically” keeps cropping up for me in different forms and I know that the next step is to embrace who I am and stop giving into societal pressures to just “do what is right.” For example, I’ve had a very difficult time finding a career path that makes me happy. For the past five years, I’ve relegated myself to the monotony of what I generalize as “office work.” I’ve never been very comfortable working indoors all day and I find the cubicle culture to be stifling and dreary. I think to myself all day long, “There must be more out there,” but I can’t put my finger on what it is. I’ve become so frustrated with my career, that I’ve grown depressed and feel my mind slowly numbing to the point where it takes intense energy just to create a coherent thought. Lately, it’s become almost impossible to wake up in the morning and I know that something needs to be done quickly, or else I’m afraid my existence will become even bleaker.

I’ve done a lot of journaling over the past year subconsciously searching for my “bliss,” as Campbell calls it, and I realized that historically I start projects with a lot of zeal, but then grow bored or talk myself out of doing them because I lack confidence. I am hopeful that by learning to be authentic and true my spirit, I will grow more in touch with my passionate, fun-loving side. Only, how do I get past feeling so mixed up and getting stuck on the negative messages? I am complicating my life by remaining blocked and applying quick fixes that I romanticize will change things, only to find myself back in a rut.

The one thing that I did get very passionate about three years ago was yoga and an interest in general wellness. I got so crazy about my classes that I started going four-five times a week, but instead of taking it slow, I got competitive and focused on “power yoga” at my gym. Needless to say, I got seriously injured and I haven’t been back to class in over a year. I’ve seen so many doctors/physical therapists about my condition that I’ve lost count and the latest doctor told me that my injury could take up to two years to heal! I still love yoga despite the drama and eventually want to teach, focusing on physical rehabilitation and special needs, which has come out of getting hurt myself. I guess you could say that is the silver lining in all of this; however, I still can’t attend a class and fear that time is slipping away. I know that being a yoga instructor will be my bliss in life, but what can I do until I am physically well? It scares me to think about wasting away at jobs that make me depressed, bitter, and numb. I want to break out of this mold and be free in my life, only I can’t get past myself!!

Thanks for reading this vent session! If you have a story about finding your bliss, getting in touch with your authenticity, or any creative way that I can use this obstacle to my advantage, please share! I’m out of ideas! :)

Thank you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 5:49pm
Welcome Sully!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 7:41pm
Hi,
I wish I had something profound to say. I have been a person who
has many interests, left nursing for sales, to sell Mary Kay, to sell and bake
cheesecakes to restaurants etc. I was even in the window business
with my late husband. I have settled into psyc/addiction nursing. it
gives me the opportunity to teach spirituality, coping skills, medical information etc.
I have not made a business out of reiki at this point, I do marry people here and there ( JP)
not enough to make a living on. I am finally settled in what I love. I am tired of
trying lots of new things. I am older so it is a joy to feel settled.
One thing that popped into my mind when you said you start a lot of things.
The enneograms. Personality #7 is like that. An idea person that lets other people complete the idea.
Have faith, it will enfold. Love, Leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2002
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 10:26am

Hello,

Thank you for your replies. I have to admit that I'm embarrassed because I posted here back in February asking people for advice on how to find your passion in life! I went back and read some of the replies I received and they were very helpful to me - I even printed some of them out.

Yesterday I also posted to the yoga board asking for ideas on how I can cultivate my interest in teaching even though I can't do a lot of the poses right now. I got some good ideas from that as well and plan to investigate them. It's funny because I've been struggling so much to "find my passion" that I think worry about NOT finding it has really become my focus. I am obsessed with it and worry too much that I'm never going to feel fulfilled in my life. I recognize that all along I've been striving for the end goal, rather than enjoying the journey, which wisdom tells us is the healthier, more productive focus.

There are certain themes that continue to sneak up on me in my life and my commitment to tapping into my authenticity is definitely one of them. Growing up, I always felt stifled by my parents or community, but rather than fighting it, I gave in. I'm not sure how much that benefited me in the long run, but it was my coping mechanism. Now, I'm in my twenties, approaching 30, and I know it's time to be true to myself. Cultivating my interest in yoga is just the first step - I also love to write (I'm taking a class now and it's great!) and teach so ideally I would like to incorporate these skills into a wellness career where I can help others. I guess I'm just impatient and I want to wake up tomorrow and have it all! I hope that slowing down and recognizing the virtues of where I am now will ease a lot of this anxiety.

Thanks again!
Sully




Edited 11/10/2005 10:25 am ET by sullylark
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 10:52am

Sully, I believe not everyone has a passion.


Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 9:20am

Hi Sully, I am where you are now. I am in search of my authenticity and bliss.

I work in an office, I'm very good at what I do, I am heralded by my co-workers for being an efficient, helpful manager. I make good money, and I have lots of perks. So, what could be wrong? I want to do something that feeds my soul (how pathetic a line is that - like out of a movie-lol), something that I feel makes a difference in my life or someone else's life, something that brings me peace and joy. Like you with yoga. I hope that there is a way you can get back to what you enjoy and make it work for you. Have you consulted with a naturopath and/or a certified yogi? I am thinking that there is possibly a way for your to return sooner than your DR's think - I don't put much faith in most MD's these days.

Trusting my body is one of the ways in which I'm finding my bliss. I have tried to listen to what my body is telling me, eating better and for nourishment rather than for hunger has been key. Movement has been very slow for me, but I'm getting there, I just bought a trampoline and I can't wait till my back feels better so I can get on it and jump around.

Working in an office daily is soul deadening for me. I have this great office, but I feel trapped. I don't like getting stuck in the thought process of, "Only 4-5 more years when the kids are off and on their own and I will be able to do something I REALLY want to do". That's such a horrible way to live. It sounds hopeful but it's not. Hopeful would be more like, "Let me go find out about that class in homeopathy that I'm so interested in...". You know what I mean?

Finding the blessings in my everyday life, such as my H, and my daughters and reaching out to my friends and family - those are ways in which I live authentically. Loving my H despite his flaws, accepting my children for the adults they are growing up to be, taking pleasure in a simple walk around the woods with my pups - those are ways in which I try to celebrate my life and live authentically, find bliss. Those are the ways in which I can try to counter balance the 'UGHNESS' of my job. I am hopeful that one day I will be able to move away from that job and find something that does feed my soul, nurture my inner being. I know I will. Just as I know you will. Why? Because we question it, we are searching for it. If we were just sitting back and doing nothing about it, that's when we fail to reach for what we desire.