Having religious crisis :o(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Having religious crisis :o(
14
Tue, 12-20-2005 - 6:53pm

I'm so confused about my religion. It kind of came to a head last night when I bought 2 matching crosses for my DD's to wear, to be given at xmas. Why did I do it? I don't believe in many, if not all, of the catholic religion fundamentals. I am having a hard time deciding whether to put my oldest dd in a catholic school or the public system.

I grew up RC, but not practicing. Though I am baptised, a didn't go to church, didn't say nightly prayers, and only set foot in churches for weddings and funerals. My husband is RC as well, though again not practicing, although he does believe in Jesus and the rest of it. He doesn't understand my confusion and feels that I should raise the kids RC and help them understand what they would learn at a catholic school.

My problem is that I am not sure I believe in Christ, just one God, the Virgin Mary etc etc. I don't believe we were put upon this earth, I believe we evolved from tiny atoms. I don't think that there is a whole new world called Heaven or Hell. I do believe in angels, and fate, and mother nature, and murphy, and reincarnation. I think we are bundles of energy waiting to be released in death.

So, where do I fit in? Unfortunately, my entire family is RC and when broaching this subject with them, they declare I'm a satanist and that I MUST put my children in the catholic system to give them some faith since they don't get it at home. Well, they do get faith from me, just not the RC kind.

I don't even know the hail mary's or what a rosary is for, however I do think that everyone will be held accountable for their actions one day and should strive to be a good virtuous person. I think some of the commandments are fine, just not all. We have a nightly prayer, but it's not the our lord one. I believe in dreams and that they have meaning, I believe in fortune tellers and ghosts and spirits. I even believe in evil.

Any one have any advice for where I can go to get some info? I'm so confused!

TIA
Michelle

Michelle

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-20-2005 - 9:13pm
It sounds like you know a lot of things in your own heart, you know your answers.
There are the opinions of others that are confusing you. You sound right on in my book.
To me they are confused but don't know it,. (:- ) Love, Leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-20-2005 - 10:43pm

Thanks for your support. I *do* feel comfortable with my beliefs and want to share them with my children even though my DH and family are pretty sure that I don't have any faith of any sort.

My next question is: do you know where I would find others who believe similarily to me? Do I qualify as believing in some sort of religion that I could find a church or even a group of? Or am I kind of out there with these beliefs?

TIA for any suggestions you may have!
Michelle

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Tue, 12-20-2005 - 11:01pm

Michelle,


You are starting your own journey and you may find that no one else in your family wants you


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 12:54am

Welcome Michelle!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 8:30am

Here you go!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 9:00am
you might like the God books by Neal Donald walsh.
I like Unitarian/Unity type churches , your relatives would flip out
on that one. (:- ) They are not like real religion to me. Unity is christian based,
I like it and i'm jewish. I haven't felt a need to go lately.
Love, leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2000
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 9:08am

I second bink's suggestion - check out the belief o matic! That's how we found our "spiritual home" two years ago. I too was raised RC... but you know what? I finally feel comfortable with my religion, and it's NOT RC.
My mother has even come to accept it; I think she's partly resigned to the fact that I never really was a good RC anyway, (LOL) and partly happy that I've found a spot that fits (and that it's affecting me positively). Of course she'd prefer it if I were Catholic, but she admits I'm a better fit with UU. She can't argue with what the kids are learning, or the effect it's having on our family, so she's ok with it now. In fact, she's even going to our Christmas Eve service with us on Sat (in addition to her regular Christmas Mass on Sun)!

so take a few mins & take the quiz. Who knows what you'll find out! (oh - but let US know! :-) )

the lorax

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 10:46am
Wow!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 12:53pm

And I'll second Leila's recommendation for the Conversations With God books.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 1:59pm

Michelle,
You don't need to classify your beliefs. I grew up in RC church, but have been (what I call) a recovering Catholic for many, many years (do we EVER really recover from the guilt?). I understand your frustration and confusion right now-I went through this about 15 years ago. When I first went through this, I was seeking answers from every corner I could find and wound up putting my Spiritual side on hold so I could study several different things (Buddhism, Taoism, Born again, UU, everything), nothing seemed to "fit". I learned once I stopped trying to classify myself, I was more able to see clearly my true Spiritual Path.

The way dealt with my family was this-when asked if I go to church, I answered no. When asked if I was going to Baptize any of me future children-again the answer was no. I kept it short and when mom finally came out and asked just exactly what religion I was, I answered I am not Religious, I am Spiritual. My realtionship with with the Divine is MY OWN, and no one else's business. I do not need to go to a church to talk to "God" I can simply sit anywhere and have that conversation. I need no intermediary like a Priest or Pastor, just myself. I also love to use the line from Kevin Smith's Dogma: Serendipity (muse) says to the Last Zion "It doesn't matter WHAT you believe, as long as you have FAITH"

As far as the children go, there is nothing wrong with teaching them ALL belief systems and allowing them to find their own path. From time to time I wear my cross and go to a Mass. I do still enjoy them from time to time. A great site for that is www.beliefnet.com (can come in handy with family members too)

The hardest part (for me) was letting go of labels that I grew up with.

Along my path I have encountered many different beliefs-some that just "make sense" like reincarnation (always believed in since early childhood). After many years, I can finally say I am just ME, who happens to believe in reincarnation, magic, herbal remedies, multiple Goddesses and Gods, and utilizing the natural world around me-whether by plant or mere energy. I hope that helps you, even a little. Good luck and be patient, it does get better-I promise! You WILL find what is right for you, and your family WILL come to terms with it if they love you.

blessings
oktavia

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