Having religious crisis :o(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Having religious crisis :o(
14
Tue, 12-20-2005 - 6:53pm

I'm so confused about my religion. It kind of came to a head last night when I bought 2 matching crosses for my DD's to wear, to be given at xmas. Why did I do it? I don't believe in many, if not all, of the catholic religion fundamentals. I am having a hard time deciding whether to put my oldest dd in a catholic school or the public system.

I grew up RC, but not practicing. Though I am baptised, a didn't go to church, didn't say nightly prayers, and only set foot in churches for weddings and funerals. My husband is RC as well, though again not practicing, although he does believe in Jesus and the rest of it. He doesn't understand my confusion and feels that I should raise the kids RC and help them understand what they would learn at a catholic school.

My problem is that I am not sure I believe in Christ, just one God, the Virgin Mary etc etc. I don't believe we were put upon this earth, I believe we evolved from tiny atoms. I don't think that there is a whole new world called Heaven or Hell. I do believe in angels, and fate, and mother nature, and murphy, and reincarnation. I think we are bundles of energy waiting to be released in death.

So, where do I fit in? Unfortunately, my entire family is RC and when broaching this subject with them, they declare I'm a satanist and that I MUST put my children in the catholic system to give them some faith since they don't get it at home. Well, they do get faith from me, just not the RC kind.

I don't even know the hail mary's or what a rosary is for, however I do think that everyone will be held accountable for their actions one day and should strive to be a good virtuous person. I think some of the commandments are fine, just not all. We have a nightly prayer, but it's not the our lord one. I believe in dreams and that they have meaning, I believe in fortune tellers and ghosts and spirits. I even believe in evil.

Any one have any advice for where I can go to get some info? I'm so confused!

TIA
Michelle

Michelle

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 7:28pm
Wonderful answer, Oktavia!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 10:14pm
Thanks everyone for your advice. It IS a wonderful journey, one that I must make alone. I hope to find others that share my beliefs, or at least some of them, but in my heart I know that like Oktavia said, it's more important to have faith in something than nothing at all.
Thanks guys, and I"ll keep you posted.
Michelle

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2001
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 1:12pm

"Any one have any advice for where I can go to get some info? I'm so confused!"

Spiritual seeking is a lot of work, can be discouraging and frustrating as well. The important thing, IMO, is to honor yourself, your inner voice and intuition, and let it guide you. Read everything spiritual, from all avenues of belief, that intrigue you at all, study, meditate about what you are reading, and be patient. Eventually you will construct your own faith path. My only cautionary is not to allow others to determine your path for you, guilt trip you or ridicule you. Keep true to yourself and your own journey. I believe that is our main purpose in this physical realm, to evolve as Spirit, and that is an individual work. ;))

Blessings on your journey,
Gypsy

--We don't realize that the gods are not out there somewhere. They live in us all. They are the energies of life itself. -- Joseph Campbell



Blessings,

Gypsy

)O(



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2001
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 1:21pm

Well said! ;)) I started out RC as a child, too, and realized in HS that this path no longer nourished me. As I entered college, I began reading about Buddhism and Zen, followed that path for awhile, sucked it dry of what was useful to me (mostly the meditation training). I searched on my own for years, sticking with the meditation, and learning t'ai chi along the way, another meditative practice. :P I explored Taosim and came to accept the good sense of balance as the Tao Circle, and the swirl of Light and Dark, demonstrates in our lives. Eventually, I started hearing something about the return of Goddess worship, and started reading about that. It resonated within me, so deeply, this information about the "sacred feminine," undominated by patriarchal principles, which I'd grown up with. It was liberating! ;) Later I found my path to Wicca, but again, like you, it is MY path. I do not follow any tradition but that which I create. I read, studied, meditated about all that came my way, until I found my own individual path. Then I had to develop the courage to stay on it and not be swayed by others' opinions, but trust my own integrity and my own path, that was hardwon after many decades.

Gypsy



Blessings,

Gypsy

)O(



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