Question for Christians

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Question for Christians
14
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 11:34pm

OKay, this is just a question, I am not seeking a fight, flame throwing, or anything like that - i promise....

First a little background - I have my internal religious beliefs and am very much a peace with them. Recently a person has come into my life as wanting a friendship - no problem there.

The problem seems to be he is very much about his belief in God and his Christianity. While I don't see that as a problem in itself, the problem lies in that he just won't let up on trying to preach to me and ALWAYS bringing it into each and every discussion we have.

I told him exactly what my beliefs are, and he seemed okay with that, but it still isn't enough for him. he will ask a question, and if I don't answer the way he wants, he starts questioning my beliefs.

For example, he "challenged" me to read a verse, and so I did. Upon that he asked what I thought of it. I said its a good verse and exlplains the Triune (is that spelled right?) God. his repsonse was "oh". and after a lvery long pause I asked what was wrong. He said "i was hoping for more of a reaction and that something would have clicked in your head." I just asked him then - do you just assume I am an athiest or agnostic because I don't answer and repsond the way YOU want...he refused to answer.

I have politely on more than one occasion told him that I don't like people preaching to me and trying to make me believe the same as them.

So my question is, if someone explains thier beliefs to you, and your views are virtually the same as yours, would you keep pusing it until they answered the way you want them to?

Why would you want to do that if that were the case?

I am just trying to figure this out. I am not here to cause controversy, i just don't understand why people cant accept an answer an move on when it comes to religion - or anything for that matter.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 4:46am
I know my beliefs differ greatly from that of my friends. I let them have their beliefs and they let me have mine. We don't preach to each other or try to sway each other's beliefs. I may not agree with them on a lot of things, but I don't challenge them.


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"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." ~Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 11:09am
I don't think you're dealing with a Christianity issue Lions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2004
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 12:03pm

<<>>

There's your answer... Acceptance. It is the key to everything. Sometimes learning to accept another person's view from one's own is difficult. Even down to the smallest of issues.

Having been in the same situation as you, I simply told a friend I was mildly offended by her desire to *make* me jump ropes for HER beliefs. I also explained that you attract bees much better with honey than vinegar :)

(keep in mind... I consider myself to have faith in christ, just not in the same way as she did.)

V :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 7:06pm

Thank you all soo much for your thoughts. Since I posted this, I had one last conversation with this person in which I learned a lot more about this person.

Seems this person has some mental issues. Literally and said without sarcasim or meanness.

He lives off the system and thinks thats how God takes care of him - others pay his way...sadly he is wanting a wife and kids, but no ambition to get a "real" job so he can support them - he feels God will take care of them through others paying his way.

Its almost cultish in how he sees things. I feel bad for him, but after our last "discussion" my anxiety levels were up and I decided that we won't talk anymore.

Thanks for letting me vent/discuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 7:42pm
Reminds me of a joke I heard once:
Bob decides he wants to win the lottery. So every night, he prays that he will win, and everytime the numbers pop up on TV, he doesn't win. This goes on for about a week. One night, he prays that he will win the lottery and he hears a voice from the sky say, "Bob! You gotta meet me half way here! Go buy a ticket first!"
The point is, yeah, he wants God to help him, but he has to go 50-50 on it. If he wants a job, he should put forth the effort to look for one that he is qualified for. If he wants a wife, he needs to go out and date and not wait for God to put one on his doorstep.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 10:27pm

Your post also reminded me of an interaction between my mother and a cousin of mine many years ago, who used the same "God will provide" mentality to freeload off us.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 5:44am

HI LTB, chiming in on this board after a long pause here (no reason in particular, I just haven't checked in for a long while.)


I am a Christian who desperately wants other people to know the underlying peace and joy that I know.

----------------------End of post, beginning of signature-------------------- Struggle will be inevitable,
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2004
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 9:51am

It sounds as tho he wants validation in his own beliefs, for someone to believe exactly as they do. Whenever you challenge another's belief system, in this case, not giving him exactly the words he would use, it's the same thing as challenge and he is defensive inside because he doesn't trust his own beliefs.

Sometimes, no matter how much we like/love a person, we are better off staying away from them, unless you truly believe he can teach you something or you him. You got to have peace. It should never be forced upon you.

Good Luck,
I've run into one of those myself,
Betsy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 11:35am

Welcome back!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-07-2006 - 12:50pm
I agree with Ginger cookie, I want to be accepted for who I am.
he also sounds controlling. whatever he is, we all have a right to think what we want and
believe the way we want to without a constant challenge. Love, Leila

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