searching for something...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
searching for something...
21
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 3:55pm

I was reading the post on happiness and it occurred to me (again) that I always feel as if I am trotting along behind the enlightened. I learn so very much in reading all your posts, but a part of me feels inferior - that I have not reached where I want to be. I feel as if I could take a year away from the grind of life perhaps the missing pieces would fall into place. but I sure can't afford to do that. I am single, turning 50 this year and feel squashed by the demands of everyday survival. I don't see any way to escape for a long enough period of time to find the who of who I am. I am sad and overwhelmed... I don't want it all to slip away without reaching my capabilities spiritually.


how do you all manage? where does your peace come from?


Nancy


 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2006
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 3:24pm

Nancy,
You answered your own question....how to stay conscious of the peace. STAY CONSCIOUS ON PEACE, it is within you, here in human form right now. The peace in-between incarnations will be so overwhelming that we can't even come close to imagining it here in physical form. But you can stay conscious of it. Put PEACE up everywhere on sticky notes, make peace signs, whatever it takes so that you stay focused on peace. It takes 21 days to make or break a habit....21 short days of staying so focused on peace that it becomes your habit of choice over the crazyness of life. Go bask in the peace, meditate on the peace, be peace because you are peace. It will come. Lets keep chatting on this cause it always helps to have a daily reminder.

Peace be with you.
Rev. B

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 8:28pm
nancy, you had a wagon full of understandings about yourself. it is a process and never ending but it really does get easier and easier. read " in the Now" by Eckart tolle, easier to read in segments. I have found it easier to say, i will put these thoughts on a shelf, like a book and take them down when i want to. it is not giving up, it is putting it to rest or a while till you get sick of the old way. Say, how do certain ways of thinking make me feel? Let's feel good. Analyzing and thinking like a whirling dervish ( whatever that is) makes us crazy. Learn to meditate, advice to myself too. hang out here. tears are silver threads from heaven to mend a broken heart or to mend anything. love and hugs,leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 8:35pm
PS I am wondering if you feel you really deserve to feel really good and peaceful because you make reference to how hard it is to do some steps to get there??? I may be wrong. If i hit anything------Make an affirmation on a sticky: I deserve to feel all the peace and joy that is within me. love, Leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2006
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 8:59am

Morning Nancy,
Was breezing through my emails this morning and came across something that I felt guided to share with you. The message in the newsletter I got was about finding peace......so, here is the website for this person; http://www.gangaji.org/index.asp. I know nothing about this person or what she does. Just felt like I needed to pass it on to you. Let me know what you find out.

From A Course In Miracles:

Nothing real can be threatened,
Nothing unreal exists,
Therein lies the Peace of God

I see many peace angels all around you today wanting to show you many signs of peace...keep your eyes open.

hugs
Rev. b

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Sat, 01-21-2006 - 2:54pm

Hi Nancy,

I can sure understand where you're coming from because I feel exactly as you do a lot of the time. It's like everyone else is so much more advanced than you and you feel that you just don't quite get it a lot of the time. It's like I logicalise it waaaaaaaayyyyyy too much. I understand the concepts and I'm sure they work (for other people) but I can't always feel or experience them myself.

My lament for the past few years is that I just don't have time to be me and to explore all the things I want to because of the daily grind. Before I discovered spirituality I seemed to have plenty of time on my hands. Dh used to work shifts, my children were small and would go to bed early and I often had long lonely evenings, now there is so much I want to know and do but I don't seem to have any time to persue it. Dh now works days so he's home every night, and the kids have grown up and although they come and go throughout the evening they are essentially around quite a lot and still up way after I am so there is no little oasis when I can be alone. Of course I know that the more I lament these things the more I am creating this 'lack' of time for myself but I don't seem to be able to help myself. I am currently taking a weekend course in hypnotherapy and hope to qualify in the summer and have this week started a night class in creative writing so you could say I do have time for myself but then when it comes to putting together my notes, reseaching homework questions and keeping up to date with these things I just seem to get bogged down with housework, running around after my kids (and now two beautiful granddaughters), doing extra hours at work because we are so busy and general 'must do' things so that I feel it's all hard work and draining rather than enjoyable and fun. I know that I am creating this situation for myself and I feel that if I could just take some time out I'd be able to straighten it all out in my head but that just never seems to happen and I become more and more frustrated with myself and more aware of my 'lack'.

Anyway I think that is enough of my ranting. Just wanted to let you know you're not the only one who feels like this and I know how frustrating and hard it can be.

~Carol~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Sat, 01-21-2006 - 7:17pm

Carol,


I sure understand where you are coming from, it gets pretty overwhelming, thanks for commiserating.


I have been reading this string over and over getting the thoughts into my head, where to go, what to do... last night I reached the breaking point and lost it. I absolutely unconditionally had to find homes for the last 5 foster puppies I had. the first step in bringing my life back into some balance. so I used some of the suggestions; I wrote an affirmation and posted it every possible place I could see it. I repeated it over and over. I said it like a mantra on my way to PetSmart, I brought 3 puppies, I will adopt them all. and I did! I knew I would. I created my reality. I listened to my insides, I talked to my guides. I ticked the time, 1 every two hours... and it happened. I know now that the

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 6:05am
I just read that happiness is about gratitude, giving to others, honoring integrity, honesty and from within. That we cannot get back less than we give out. Love, leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 2:09pm

Each of us travels along our path in our own fashion, some seem to grasp things easier while others need more work. This is normal. My first bit of advice is to stop comparing yourself to anyone else. Only YOU can walk YOUR path, where I am, and what I do is my own. So really comparing yourself to me is not valid. Don't worry about the labels. Go with what FEELS right to you, and as long as you're doing that, you're on the right track! Your solice may be in something different. I find solice in Nature, reading, learning, sitting quietly, meditating, and creating things (art, music, photography, writing).

Never think you are inferior... you're still learning, that's all. And quite honestly, we're all always learning, changing and growing.

HUGS!
tavi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 5:33pm
Very wise advice Tavi!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 7:09pm

what I must do is see what it is in others I want for me, internalize the fact that I am doing nothing to get there, and then proceed to beat the heck out of myself for it. vicious little cycle. but on the other hand I know I am learning and changing and growing. the consciousness of the moment of the now is not acknowledging it's growth. I get stuck like a broken records on all the mistakes I have made and turn myself into an internally