Help with my father

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
Help with my father
5
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 3:29am

I was raised in a small Christian Reformed church in Iowa. Over the years, I have have been very regular about attending up until 6 years ago. At that time, I was in the process of losing my children, and going through rehab for drug and alcohol addiction, and moved out of state. Since that time I haven't stepped foot in a church except for maybe 10 times in the last 6 years. Since I've been sober I've continued praying and do meditation on a daily basis. I call my parents once a week, and every time it's the same conversation, "Have you found a church yet?" I have explained to them that it's my own personal decision not to attend church and that I still have a strong faith, if not stronger than when I was a teenager. My father also asks me quite a bit "do you know where you are going when you die?" I believe that I am going to heaven, but since I don't go to church he believes otherwise, and well as my faith. He doesn't seem to think I have any if I'm not going at least once a week and going to a Bible study as well. He brought this up to me today also. He suggested that my SO and I find a church that we can all attend on Sunday and they are coming up for the weekend, and they are VERY religious. I'm at my wits end trying to explain to him that just because I don't go to church doesn't mean I don't believe. My SO and myself both believe that there is a Higher Power out there, but for our own reasons don't feel the need to attend church. Is there anything more that I can explain or tell him to get my point across?? He's driving me nuts with this!

Thanks!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-1999
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 11:06am

"My father also asks me quite a bit "do you know where you are going when you die?"

For openers I guess I would ask him why he has to "sell" a God of love through fear. Any religion that uses fear as it's main recruiting tool is pretty lacking, IMHO.

dablacksox


Cynic: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.---Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 12:41pm

Cbbage, I live in


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 2:50pm

Hello ...


I was raised in a devoted Christian household also.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 3:19pm

Thank you guys so much for the help!!! It help put things in a little more perspective for me, in ways that I couldn't see. It also helped me calm down for the time being. Thanks again for the help and encouargment, it really made my day!!! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 7:26pm
Just remember to come from love when you talk to him, accept them and don't try to defend your beliefs. Thank him for his interest in you and tell him you are so happy believing in the way you have chosen. No power struggles. you can tell him love is in accepting each other and give him a kiss. Then call your sponsor. hehe. Love, leila