I need help with a Religion Issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2006
I need help with a Religion Issue
24
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 1:27pm

Hi

I am new at the community here. I need help with this issue.

I have a sister in law that recently became a "Christian". My mother in law is Catholic and she practices the religion. Since my sister in law has become a Christian (about a year ago) she has thrown away at my mother in laws house the image of the Sacred Heart and a rosary my mother in law had. She complains all the time that it is evil and that she has to get rid of all of it. She criticizes everything about Catholicism and does see that if she does have Jesus in her heart like she says she does she should be more considerate and respect other people's religions and not step all over their lives.

I am sorry but if you are a Christian I think that you should respect other people's religions especially when you havent practiced any at all until now and just RESPECT should be the main word here. I dont know how to make myself clear to her that she needs to respect her mother's religion. I am a Catholic too and I do not put down any religion just because it is different than mine. I need to find articles or something that can help me make my point. I am not good at words or explaining things .I feel bad to see that all her life my mother in law has practiced Catholicism and feels strongly about it and that now in her third age she needs to put up with this.

If you have any page you can please direct me to where I can gather info or articles about respecting religions so I can confront her with it will be appreciated.

Thanks so much

Ivee

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 12:54pm

it has nothing to do with religion, but more with disrespect that has been allowed to continue in a new form and/or power struggles and this time around religion is the tool for bullying.


I think you've hit the nail on the head Brush.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2004
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 6:19pm


Do you mean that your SIL became Protestant? I seem to have been told that many Protestants do not believe, or believe that most Catholics are overly dependent on prayer (hence the not using the rosary) and put too much emphasis on saints and images of God and things like that as being evil. Kind of like the sacred cow. It almost is as if they still see some paganism in the Catholics religion. I don't know but perhaps this could answer some of the confusion.


Just a thought.


Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself.


You may not be perfect, but you are all You've got to work with.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 6:27pm
Gee.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 6:37pm

I guess Brush just hit me harder with the hammer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 7:15pm

Hallo Bink
at the time of Martin Luther, there were in Europe, only 3 or 2 other men, who protested against the rules of the roman catholic faith.

I can't remember them all, the only ones, I can remeber now at my age, are the Calvinist, the lutherans and one other one in Switzerland.. At that same time, there were at least 2 men in one in England and one in Scotland, who made similar or other protests against the Roman Catholic Faith.. then about the same time, to get his divorce, king Henry the 8th in England seperated from the Roman Catholic faith. So at the time the term 'protestants' came into the common usage in the vocabulary, there weren't really all that many different protestant religeous denominations.

The quote you took out of my rattle, in that one, I was referring not from the roman catholics point of view about the protestants, but within the protestants christian religions and its followers itself/themselves..

Now I don't know what your exposure has been in your life, (and I don't say the following to brag, tis just that it occurred in my lifetime for me) But I have lived in Indonesia as a child, in the Netherlands, in Germany, Belgium.. spend a lot of time in England..am now living in Canada for a very long time.

I was in those days, very interested in other religions.. I also spend time with buddhists and muslims.. simply because of my Indonesian part of my own ethniticity as I am part European and part Asian.

Because it has come upon my path in my past to have been able to mingle with protestant christians of different denominations in different countries, also in your lovely country of the USA, it has exposed me in my life to other denominations, you see?

I want to make it very clear, that never in my life, did I try to put my own believes or faith onto other people, I know it wasn't inferred, but I am mentioning it, just in case somebody might think that I am reacting to that, for example.

Because I have been in so many places with so many christian protestants as well with roman catholics, I found that the average person, was just a simple everyday person, like everybody here... Most of them, had never even been anywhere but their own state, province, country.. They accept whatever a preacher preaches them..

Never in my life with any Roman Catholics, have I ever heard even mention how "protestants' or the other christians practiced their believes, or has anybody ever even called them, what you labelled as "spinless sheep". As an ex roman catholic, I can assure you, that I have never thought of others that way, nor have I ever heard roman catholics talk about protestant christians that way or even priests...

roman catholics are much more busy, with their own personal issues, and pray the rosary, pray to their saints.. keep up with their own community services and help one another in their daily lifes. Than that they spend as much time as the protestants do, studying the bible or how their protestant christian brothers and sisters believe or practice their believes.

during the 15 to 20 minutes in a Mass, priests spend their time, exhorting their congregations and there are always many different priests in a church parochie, which is not the case in a protestant christian church, where there is only one preacher and a body of elders and deacons.

But during my time with the protestant christians, I have heard more ignorant remarks about the roman catholics than visa versa, actually.. More talking down towards the RC's than the other way around. That is exactly what put me off, protestant christians. I found them very judgemental, compared with the RC's

Just to take an example? right now Ira Krause who has posted here on this particular threat also? has right now been telling me that I can't possibly do, without her churches teaching and told me that she is going to bombard my garbage email with her personal views and preachings. something a Roman Catholic would never do... So now I have to deal with this? simply because I am of a different believe system?

Something, which I find very much offensive.. I don't bombard other people with my personal religious believes either.. so I don't appreciate it, that I get this sort of thing via my ivillage email referral in my own personal email inbox stuffed down my throat!

So when I say, that there are protestant Christians, who don't always agree with their preachers, or the stand their churches take towards those of a different believe system, and therefore these people keep mum, I am quite correct in that statement, as I have met these people myself, and they have told me so themselves..

In all religious believe systems, there will be followers who won't agree with their priests, ministers or whatever, and if these people want to stay in those congregations, I think that that is why they stay mum..For many people the churches they go to and the congregations they attend, they have made dear and close friends over the many years and these people have become their links to whatever is important to them and tis their life and their lifeline.. Tis people like me, who search for other things in life on their paths, who will leave.

Tis not until after my heart attack in 1999, that I had therapy and tis not until then, that even I started to speak up, as I do here, you see? But by 1999 I had left all conventional religous organasations.

I believe differently these days and have found my own niche, but I still am aware of how it works in the other churches.. Like somebody mentioned, Pat Robertson? well there is also a Benny Hinn and Jimmy what's his name in Georgia? was it? many many more.. but the followers aren't discriminatory towards their preachers and of course forgiving too.

I just hope that the lady who has the kind of daughter, who just comes high handed into her mother's home and throws endeared items away, is going to get some outside support.. Because believe me, I do know from personal experience,what it is like, if children think that you as an elderly parent have lost your marbles, and they know how things are in life and all you know is that you know it differently and you havent lost any marbles.

Good discussion here though! Thanks letting me participate everybody.
greets from the old brush

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2006
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 8:24pm

Thanks :) I don't exactly know what branch of christianity she is into because I honestly can't talk to her much without getting frustrated, definitely a branch that gets too much into it . I dont care if my mother in law was into vodoo for all I cared (which she is not) it is just the fact that the daughter does not respect whatever religion she is into. It is very rude. and even worse when you try to manipulate a person by telling them whatever they care for is evil.

My mopther in law does not bow to the image ,idolized it, prays to it or worships it, she just had it there on the wall. I guess as a reminder like we keep pictures of our loved ones.She knows that was not his picture and that probably he did not even look like that, we all know that. It was just I guess a tradition of her culture, a reminder for when she walks past that wall. The rosary she doesnt live praying the rosary but she likes to have it for when she feels the need. Some people believe in rocks, others pray to a God we dont know, nor her or me ever criticize it because after all, its their life and their belief. There has to be a way in which I make her daughter understand this so we dont argue each time she comes over because on top of everything she wants to change me too...well...to me is really bothersome but I still try.

Thanks so much for the verses u sent me. Ill print them and definitely will give it to her.

sincerely,

Ivee/

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2006
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 8:33pm

Thanks Bink... I will let u know. I for once think my sis in law is ignorant and that is why it happens. She is not abusive per se but its imposing her ideas which she doesnt have any right to. If she wants to believe its fine but u dont have to force anyone to be like you. I see it this way. I come from a Communist country in which religion was forbidden and I was born and raised there and somehow God found me. I didnt know about him at all because I was not allowed by the governement to go to church and even like that I believed and was always curious about him because my grandmother was from Spain and she prayed the rosary. My parents always told me the existance and even though I never denied it I never believed it.

No one had to convince me. I convinced myself of His existance years later when I was free. Thats why I know you don't need to be preaching constantly like she does or trying to gather everyone to her church. He gets to people in different ways and thats how my MIL sees him , through her Catholics eyes. I learned a lot during my childhood with the experiences I lived and my understanding is Live and Let Live or Live and Let Die , to each its own and yes you can have an opinion or maybe try to help someone in a situation you might have gone through already but you should never impose on anyone.

Thanks so much :)

Ivee

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2006
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 8:42pm

Thanks Brush :)

I understand you and I know what you mean. i have also been part of different religions because of my upbringing. I was confused and I was learning so I have visited and participated in Lutheran Churches, Baptist churches, Mormon, Catholic (I am a Catholic). I know about Buddhism and because of where I come from I have also knowledge (never practiced) the cuban-african religion.

I know about the power trips and I have known people in each of these religions who have been really nice and talk to you about it but do not push you or tell you they are the ones that are right, but... there are others (in each religion I mentioned before) that tell you theirs is the only truth and wow how that annoys me. I keep whatever to myself and dont get involved into anyone's business and when I see someone doing this that is when I get so upset and it makes me a little rebellious to churches.

Thanks so much for your reply

:)

Ivee

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 8:43pm

I love this . . .


(( The rosary is a prayer aid.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2006
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 8:44pm

Thanks Ida

Yes..I think she is definitely not ready and she thinks she is. She has A LOT more to learn.

xoxo

Ivee