How to Live Life?
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| Tue, 03-14-2006 - 2:15pm |
It occurred to me this weekend I spend a big portion of my time being slave to either my home or work. I realize this is a negative perspective as I am grateful for my job and home. When I am home though I know there is a limitless list of things that should be done but many times instead of acting on them I am slave to my habits of shutting down by eating and watching TV - interspersed with play with my pets and picture taking. The list never gets smaller and my frustration never abates, there are always more things i want to do to upgrade my home, it needs it. Some things on the list are things I don’t know how to do, or don’t have the money to pay someone to do so would require more effort to get done on my part, others are simple household chores that are needed to exist but loathe like laundry, cooking, dishes, vacuuming, etc. There are also things I want to do but never do either. This has me wondering about life and how to live it.
Can I reshape my life and give myself time for things that make me happier, stronger and creative? Is it no wonder I am discontent when I pay so little attention to my body, mind, heart and soul? I feel as if it is time for a total reorganization of my life. More structure, schedules for chores but limit the time and make time for discovery of things I love to do. The idea looms like another chore that doesn’t get done. I hate busyness but lounging is no way to while away my life. But then who cares about the chores, except I would prefer things clean but just can’t seem to make myself keep up with them all. I lack self-discipline and don’t know where one more chart or another resolve that doesn’t last will fix things. My self indulgence accomplishes nothing but is a part of my life.
Just writing this makes me feel weighed down as if life is dreary and mundane.
What makes life worth it? How do you live a life that makes it all worth it?
Creative_(No)Peace

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Get outta my head! LOL
in a few of the personality tests I have taken I am described as "a melancholy".
I was pretty much in this very same place about a month and a half ago. I realized I was spending to much time doing nothing and not enough time doing what needed to be done or simply doing instead of being a very "droney" Bren. It got to the place where I had no dreams for myself, my future or anything else! I'm sure a part of it was my age, my life style, my family, and even genetics. The other major part was winter. Oh how i really hate winter while dh loves it!
One of the first things I did was look at my behaviors - I got scared when I realized I was bending back way too many beers. I looked at alcoholism and decided I was merely overly abusing it. I looked at some community schooling for a few courses, and even though I didn't have the money to sign up, just the prospects got my blood moving again. (I will get my motorcycle license this year though!!) I was sick and tired of my house looking like a gazillion bums lived in it instead of 4 people who think we're socially acceptable. And I started investing in our house - with things like a couple new cookbooks, a picnic table for my kitchen, and I began to stand up for myself more in my marriage, at work, and with myself.
I'm doing much better and I'm looking at all the stuff I really want to do with my house - I can't afford to have anyone else do it, so I'm looking at learning how to do what i need to do!! Weekends, I watch all the PBS I can - from This Old House, to Jacques Pepin. Ron Hazelton has a great website that gives how to info. Many large chain hardware stores give how to classes for nothin' (Home Depot and woodworker's Warehouse give woodworking classes).
But the thing that was most important was taking inventory on me - what I need, What's missing, and how to get where I want to be. It wasn't pretty. More than anything I'm feeling distaanced from Creator and Spirit. In the past, I'd do a workshop and get a quick fix that lasted maybe a couple days beyond taking the course or whatever. I think I'm finally doing some real work on me again - something that had taken a back seat. While quick fixes are great and a rush, a workshop simply doesn't have staying power for me. I need(ed) to really look inside for my answers. Man!! What a lot of work!, but I'm happier and better suited to handle the everyday stuff that pops up with things looking up all the time! I'm also learnig to play at the things I sorta like but have no real experience or background. It was fun playing with oil pastels, acrylic paint, changing the living room around after investing in some decorating ideas, beating up a peice of copper sheeting and come up with birtd bath, and designing a necklace pendant even though I'm still struugling with beaded chain I want to do for it. It's also helped to every once in a while turn off the tube and diving into a great novel.
AND - I bought a book just this past weekend - it's called *Organizing for the Spirit: Making the Details of Your Life Meaningful and Manageable* by Sunny Schleger. I like it. She takes you through just looking to rearrange things so you can better cope. OH!! And one of the first things she says is "Here's a radical idea for you: There is no such thing as clutter." I kid you not! Any woman who makes that statement can't be all bad!
I hope this is helpful. I'm only telling you what worked for me - you need to figure out what will work for you, and yes - you can do any durn thing you set your mind to. It will pay to look inside of yourself and find your own answers.
With love,
Bren
Edited 3/14/2006 8:51 pm ET by breathin_bren
I was pretty much in this very same place about a month and a half ago. I realized I was spending to much time doing nothing and not enough time doing what needed to be done or simply doing instead of being a very "droney" Bren. It got to the place where I had no dreams for myself, my future or anything else! I'm sure a part of it was my age, my life style, my family, and even genetics. The other major part was winter. Oh how i really hate winter while dh loves it!
One of the first things I did was look at my behaviors - I got scared when I realized I was bending back way too many beers. I looked at alcoholism and decided I was merely overly abusing it. I looked at some community schooling for a few courses, and even though I didn't have the money to sign up, just the prospects got my blood moving again. (I will get my motorcycle license this year though!!) I was sick and tired of my house looking like a gazillion bums lived in it instead of 4 people who think we're socially acceptable. And I started investing in our house - with things like a couple new cookbooks, a picnic table for my kitchen, and I began to stand up for myself more in my marriage, at work, and with myself.
I'm doing much better and I'm looking at all the stuff I really want to do with my house - I can't afford to have anyone else do it, so I'm looking at learning how to do what i need to do!! Weekends, I watch all the PBS I can - from This Old House, to Jacques Pepin. Ron Hazelton has a great website that gives how to info. Many large chain hardware stores give how to classes for nothin' (Home Depot and woodworker's Warehouse give woodworking classes).
But the thing that was most important was taking inventory on me - what I need, What's missing, and how to get where I want to be. It wasn't pretty. More than anything I'm feeling distaanced from Creator and Spirit. In the past, I'd do a workshop and get a quick fix that lasted maybe a couple days beyond taking the course or whatever. I think I'm finally doing some real work on me again - something that had taken a back seat. While quick fixes are great and a rush, a workshop simply doesn't have staying power for me. I need(ed) to really look inside for my answers. Man!! What a lot of work!, but I'm happier and better suited to handle the everyday stuff that pops up with things looking up all the time! I'm also learnig to play at the things I sorta like but have no real experience or background. It was fun playing with oil pastels, acrylic paint, changing the living room around after investing in some decorating ideas, beating up a peice of copper sheeting and come up with birtd bath, and designing a necklace pendant even though I'm still struugling with beaded chain I want to do for it. It's also helped to every once in a while turn off the tube and diving into a great novel.
AND - I bought a book just this past weekend - it's called *Organizing for the Spirit: Making the Details of Your Life Meaningful and Manageable* by Sunny Schleger. I like it. She takes you through just looking to rearrange things so you can better cope. OH!! And one of the first things she says is "Here's a radical idea for you: There is no such thing as clutter." I kid you not! Any woman who makes that statement can't be all bad!
I hope this is helpful. I'm only telling you what worked for me - you need to figure out what will work for you, and yes - you can do any durn thing you set your mind to. It will pay to look inside of yourself and find your own answers.
Sorry this is so long and I'm sure you now have way too much information...
With love,
Bren
As I read your post I was soooooo moved, primarily because I can empathise (truly) I have been in a very similar sounding place. As I thought of a response I realized that I do not want to come off as "having the answers" (for I can assure you, I do not! Not for you,, that's your job. It is mine to find "my" answers). But what I can tell you w/ realative certainty is that you *~*~CAN~*~* change . . . not overnight and it may not come about in the manner in which you may think. But if you *truly desire* change you can . . . and will change. (a side note: I would like to say "be careful what you "wish" for 'tho)
A couple of things ~ from my experiences ~ and I realize that your's may be entirely different ~ but perhaps there may be a tid-bit in here that may help. When I was in a similar spot. Nothing ever got done insofaras real change because it all seemed soooo overwhelming. I didn't know where to start . . . and just the thought of trying to accomplish "it all" was exhausting . . . so I never started!!!! Then I'd "beat myself up" and consequently had even less energy . . . annnnnnnd the cycle continued in a downward spiral. You cannot do it all all at once!
What changed for me? (ummmmmm A LOT) but primarily I started w/ *ME*! You cannot have the energy to give/do much of anything if you do not give/do for your Self first! Start perhaps w/ questioning (everything!?!). Ask yourself who you really are, what *truly matters* to you, what you can/cannot "do without". For me what got the ball rolling (three, nearly four years ago) was when a friend asked me "What do you want?" and I couldn't answer the question I had no clue.
I am now in the process of figuring out the answer (for ME). Once I began asking questions of my Self, it led me to some difficult places & choices . . . I moved out (after 20 years of marriage) into a small place on my own, which forced me to get a job, which helped me find my passion, which led me back to school to earn a degree in said passion (working w/ children w/ autism) and I am now in an entirely different place (in EVERY sense) from where I was four years ago. It has not (I can certainly assure you) been an easy ride. But I am growing in ways untold and have discovered a sense of *Self* I never had when I felt as 'tho I was a "slave" to everyone and everything else . . . . .
Your journey will be your own and you may not need to "go" outside of your Self even to accomplish it. But what I do hear in your post is (as you stated) a lack of Peace . . .
May I pose a question?????? "What do you want?"
Wishing you MUCH Love, Courage, Strength and whatever your journey requires.
{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}} "M"
Nancy,
You have been given some good tools in the previous posts, but what really stuck out for me was the question:
"The other part wants to follow Aphrodite, Greek goddess of everything naughty, and go play with my friends!"
Love, **naughty** (and very nice) LOVE! I'm with you! I love to play, and let the inner Aphrodite shine. The dishes can wait. And yes, balance is key. :)
Plenty of wonderful, heartwarming advice above. Let me just add a note about food:
Don't be afraid to look for support in your circle, and/or community. Until I became a vegetarian two years ago, I did not realize how much what I put into my mouth matters! Getting off the sugar, and chemicals alone, made such a difference, and gave me back my *abundance of energy*. Your attitude and emotions are directly driven by your energy levels. Don't blame yourself for something you don't *feel* like doing; work on getting the "feel like it", your energy back.
And don't forget to love your body *now*; see the beauty, do some exercise; begin with a short walk, maybe, to the mailbox; move the body, and in the direction of the outdoors, to sunshine! Doing house chores to music I love moves me. And you? (seek it) Love Leila's advice about the outdoors in particular; find your springtime; you can do it.
xxoox
Susan
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