How to Live Life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
How to Live Life?
25
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 2:15pm

It occurred to me this weekend I spend a big portion of my time being slave to either my home or work. I realize this is a negative perspective as I am grateful for my job and home. When I am home though I know there is a limitless list of things that should be done but many times instead of acting on them I am slave to my habits of shutting down by eating and watching TV - interspersed with play with my pets and picture taking. The list never gets smaller and my frustration never abates, there are always more things i want to do to upgrade my home, it needs it. Some things on the list are things I don’t know how to do, or don’t have the money to pay someone to do so would require more effort to get done on my part, others are simple household chores that are needed to exist but loathe like laundry, cooking, dishes, vacuuming, etc. There are also things I want to do but never do either. This has me wondering about life and how to live it.


 


Can I reshape my life and give myself time for things that make me happier, stronger and creative? Is it no wonder I am discontent when I pay so little attention to my body, mind, heart and soul? I feel as if it is time for a total reorganization of my life. More structure, schedules for chores but limit the time and make time for discovery of things I love to do. The idea looms like another chore that doesn’t get done. I hate busyness but lounging is no way to while away my life. But then who cares about the chores, except I would prefer things clean but just can’t seem to make myself keep up with them all. I lack self-discipline and don’t know where one more chart or another resolve that doesn’t last will fix things. My self indulgence accomplishes nothing but is a part of my life.


 


Just writing this makes me feel weighed down as if life is dreary and mundane.


 


What makes life worth it? How do you live a life that makes it all worth it?


 


Creative_(No)Peace

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 12:28pm

I have to say first, this thread is a shining example of why I love this board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2006
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 2:27pm

And sometimes people don't know what they really want, and that's OK, and perfectly human, too.

Time; try, and try again; patience; support; one step at a time.

(a motto on a bulletin board at work)

xxoox
Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 3:31pm

And sometimes people don't know what they really want


So very true.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 4:50pm
When I read Bink's post, coming from a loving friend's point of view, of someone outside looking in on your life, it reminded me very strongly of a time when I had feelings similar to yours right now, and a friend showed me lovingly what my life looked like to her.
At first I thought " She doesn't understand! It's so much more complicated than that!" Then I started breaking down what she told me, and saw that she indeed had no incorrect perceptions about my life. I just *chose* to look at those items with a more negative view. Yes, there were some changes to be made, some adjustments, but overall, I was very blessed, and the main thing I needed to change was my perceptions of my life, my view.
When I started thinking in my old patterns, I replaced them with new thoughts directly from my friend's statements. Some of my aggravations melted away in time, some I saw as things that !Yes! if I want to be happy, I need to consciously change this. It really helped me.
Hope this helps a little,
Nikki
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 6:24pm
I have enjoyed the posts tonight from where I left off. Reminds me of part of myself. The other week I was talking to a friend who is on chemo, I actually complained. she is getting married soon, her cancer is in her liver. I had to look at myself. Even today i said, I should go to ACIM tonight if I want to meet new people, I should go to the library to hear someone's near death experience. I said, it doesn't matter. do what you want and the right people will fall into my life. So, I had a healthy dinner, some wine and I want to stay home. It is windy and raw outside. I was out today, I like being home. i have been telling myself. i just might live my life without a man, not what I want, but I am starting to believe more in the fact that, " I have a good cake, the frosting is the guy" the cake stands alone and doesn't need frosting. I am doing what I want to do even if it is not a male activity, like cooking classes, working out at curves, wine classes. It is about me and my enjoyment of life. I read a lot, watch movies. If that guy wants me, he can find me. meanwhile i do love my job and having 3 days off a week, I do a lot of the same things, go to a lot of the same places, but they are my favorite places. My fav organic place etc I go to lunch alone to my fav places, even if I repeat a lot. I am telling myself, knock off the thinking that is boring and constant and think how wonderful my life is. Not that i don't have enough friends but the ones I have are great. When I want to push myself. i will, i don't want to push to get out now. i'd rather be out all day and home at night. I'll figure out the balance. I do have the quiet. peace, time to myself with my cats.
There is more peace in my life than in marriages etc. There is a lack of serious problems, my time to veg, read, work, follow my heart and trust the universe to make changes in my life. Maybe I'll think about a trip, maybe not, I am going with the flow. It is new for me not to be doing and planning and manipulating things to happen. I can be just Leila. Love, me
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2006
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 7:27pm

Leila, Sweetie, I just had to respond ~ I *hear* (and *feel*) so much of what you posted . . . after 21 years of marriage I left, I'm out on my own now (well, sorta, my two Dds are w/ me), I'm going to college again, starting a new life. Some days I luv my freedom, ability to choose, strength I'm finding . . . other days I can't stand where I am, am overwhelmed by the road ahead & I turn into a puddle (but there are becoming fewer of those days, and more of the days when I really like it sooooo I guess I'm moving in the right direction).

Learning to *trust* the Universe again has been a struggle (partly 'cos of that word *trust* ya know?) but I am beginning to . . . and w/ that I'm beginning to feel like "M"e again ~ but a whole new me, too . . .

My motto in Life is: "Just Keep Swimming" ~~ or as my fave author J.R.R. Tolkien wrote "Little by little one travels far" . . . the road will take us to a new place!!

Blessings to your cats!!! {{{{{{kitties}}}}}}} ~ I have a dog and I can assure you she's been a life-saver in many ways. I got her at the pound (I saved her life, she's saved mine ~ now we're best friends!!!)

Luv 'n Blessings, "M"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2006
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 7:45pm

Ahhh pespective ~ what an incredible gift it is!!

I thought of the Mary Englebreit picture of the girl painting a beautiful mural on an "ugly" brick wall and underneath it reads: "If you don't like the way something looks ~ change the way you look at it" ! Change of perspective can change *everything* ~~~~ it unfortunetly is often more easily said than done. And yes, sometimes it is the actual surroundings/events in our lives that need the changing, but many times we cannot even tell what is which before changing perspective . . . questioning . . . looking at our lives differently . . . thinking about it differently . . . starting . . . metamorphosis . . .

What a wonderful blessing you have in your friend {{{hugs}}}} to you both.

Ahhhh I like this thread ~ it feels so good to be out on this board (feels like "home")

Much Luv 'n Many Blessings, "M"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 9:32pm

I realize I am very much like a dog suffering from separation anxiety. I am attention seeking – just the thought that I do this makes me a little sick (it’s a father thing). I am anxious about being alone. I have been given the gift of tools from many of my postings, but continue howling at the moon out of sadness and loss. The combination of the loss of my parents 2003 & 2005, relocation to North Carolina, leaving my mother, family and friends, I still have not found my feet. I am blind to the wonders around me. I must open my eyes and appreciate what I have. My path feels precarious and would hate to think I would lose the wonders I have for lack of paying attention to the really important things.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2006
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 7:57am

{{{{hug}}}}} I lost my Dad in '93 and my Mom in '95 and I had quite a difficult time adjusting. Then I lost my eldest sister in '01 and my marriage of 20-21 years (and house, way of living) in '03 and the past few years have been *wild* internally . . . I have had periods of unbelieveable despair, times I didn't even recognize myself at all . . . . Be *gentle* be *loving* w/ your Self, give yourself Time to heal . . . no one responds to loss and/or change in the same manner. You have been through *a lot*! It is like loosing one's compass . . . . .

But if I may, I'd like to say keep talking w/ those you love and trust, listen to your Self and others, ask questions (again of your Self and others), don't be afraid to say, "No, I don't agree with or feel that" . . . . Be a *seeker* ~ Seek and you shall find.

I hope I'm not overstepping at all ~ but there is a book that has helped me in ways untold, entitled: "Awakening The Heroes Within" by Carol S. Pearson ~ it is a study on our inner achetypes and I have learned sooooo much about myself and have grown temendously through studying it. I take the "quiz" at least a couple of times a year to get a feel for where I am, where I'm headed, what I might like to "work" on. And even when I couldn't believe in much of anything, (god, Spirit, Universe) and had very little Trust left ~ I could still read this book and it helped me to learn to believe in and Trust my Self and from that I am *finally* opening again and beginning to *see* Wonder and Trust Devine again . . .

Be gentle with, Be kind to, be loving of your Self!

With MUCH Love, "M"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2001
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 2:39pm

HUGS to you! I am kind of in the same boat right now...

Currently I'm going through a spirit spell, where I feel used up, dried up, life too mundane, nothing new on the horizon to look forward to, also. :((

"What makes life worth it? How do you live a life that makes it all worth it?"

I guess for me right now, my DH and grown DD and my dog companion, Mika, are what make it worth staying alive, or just even getting up in the morning. ;)) Otherwise, it's just "stuff" to occupy my time.

One of my goals is to become like the Zen master, Shunryu Suzuki who wrote, "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind." His face, as other Buddhist masters, like the Dalai Lama or Thich Nhat Hanh, are always so peaceful, gentle, and yes, happy. There's an equanimity they have in their approach to life. They've shed the baggage and judgmentalness and desire to "fit in" with others. In so doing, they are sources of great strength and spirit. I am working toward that, living in th moment, trying to meet what comes in a gentle, flowing, flexible manner, instead of being thrown out of kilter by "stuff" that happens in life. What's that saying,"Be careful what you ask for, you might get it?!" LOL! :D So, when I DO "get it," the equanimity, that flow, then I look around and think there's something wrong. BWAHAHAHA! Sigh...

Gypsy




Edited 3/16/2006 3:47 pm ET by gypsywolfwoman


Blessings,

Gypsy

)O(