That's it! I'm done!
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That's it! I'm done!
| Tue, 07-18-2006 - 12:57am |
Many--probably most--of us here have changed our spiritual paths at some point in our lifetimes. In some cases, more than once. What made you say 'enough is enough' with the old path? What was that final straw? Or was it more of a gradual change for you? Tell us what precipitated the change in your life.







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*Ouch* . . . *sigh* . . . ok here's my story . . . .
I was Christian in my POV, pretty much. Not a church going one, but my Faith was real and heart-felt. I had been through some *tough stuff* (the deaths of both of my parents and a dear friend) when I found iVil for the first time and a few really neat boards out here. It was one of the first times I'd been exposed to people of different faiths and *really different* points of view. At first I wondered how/why people thought what they did, etc . . . But I made some really cool friends and wanted to hear what they had to say, so I *listened*. I was searching somewhat, but mostly I just wanted to "expand my views". I was really intrigued with other people's paths. I was happy learning and saw no problem with *expanding* when one day someone (a Christian) told me that I needed to "come down off the fence" and "choose a side"! He said that I *couldn't be both* (Pagan and Christian)! I was like, "Hun ~ why not?" I had a couple other Christians (not just on iVil) tell me the same sort of a thing (even ademently) ~ yet the Pagans didn't seem to have a problem with my embracing both sides . . . . .
Anyway . . . then my eldest sister (who was my dearest friend) died . . . (after beating so many trials ~ cancer among them) unexpectedly and untimely. I couldn't look at my BIL/neice/nephew and believe (as well-meaning people kept trying to tell me) that it was "best", that it was "God's will". My world went *black* . . . for a long time I was angry . . . then depressed . . . then just numb . . . and all that time I felt like God was nowhere . . . although I prayed He didn't seem to hear me/didn't care . . . I had no answers, felt no *comfort* . . . and he didn't answer . . . .
Until I started looking towards a feminine side to Deity . . . a mothering/nurturing side . . . Goddess responded . . . and I found at least a few answers . . .
I still have questions in my life (as do we all). I still feel confused/uneasy/scared/angry/doubtful from time to time but I'm *ok* w/ that now (not that it always feels ok when I'm in the middle of something, but I know it actually is) ~ I don't expect God/Goddess to "make it all better". I've grown up a lot.
Now I have no problem with sitting on a fence and embracing both sides!! And I need no human's seal of approval to do so (*wink*).
I'm sure I still have a long way to go . . . (or I hope I do) but that's what it's about to me now ~ The Journey ~~~~ and I see it like a river, flowing, changing, moving (the only then constant is change) sooooo who knows, I may change my point of view again. And I think that's ok, too. 'Cos I know that (as my dear sister told me) I have the heart of a true believer.
Many Blessings, "M"
Mine's was a smaller change. I went from a large
Christian denomination to just an ordinary non-
denom Christian church.
The large denomination that I was a part of when
I was a child..we did not dare pray out loud,
raise our hands in praise, or sing in contemporary
styles, or do Christian hula or any other dancing
"as unto Jesus", or skits in church. It was blecchhhh lol.
Then after high school I was invited to a certain
spirit-filled church, where the pastors were great
teachers in addition to allowing all of the above.
They really cared about our spiritual growth.
No fire and brimstone teaching. Just alot of love
and encouragement; just what God would do.
And lots of empowering testimonies of miracles : )
Hugs,
Cindy
~*~ there's nothing that a nap can't cure (wink!).... ~*~
~*~ Aloha to all .... ~*~
Not being able to ask questions or wonder about anything, but being basically told to just believe and do what I was told. Also, denial of the Sacred Feminine, and controlling women's spiritual expression and participation, to only "acceptable" venues, in a patriarchal hierarchy and structure.
Gypsy
Blessings,
Gypsy
)O(
I so enjoy your posts M, always so eloquent!
Wow Cindy, that must've been really hard feeling so held back.
I always had trouble with the male-only God issue as well.
Poetry contains almost all you need to know about life
--Josephine Hart
Good topic!
My own story begins with an Episcopal priest as well.
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