How to live if no faith...
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How to live if no faith...
| Fri, 07-28-2006 - 7:33am |
I have been a firm Catholic ever since little. That was my own choice, somehow I found a way to it since no one in my family went to church. It was nice in one way, so fulfilling being a part of that society and believing God loves me endlessly, he's always there to help and so on.
The other side of story was so much illogical belief like going to hell for one mortal sin and so on and so on...
Little by little, exploring and questioning, I came to a point where I stopped believing. Not just in Catholic church but in God himself. Better to say, seeing all the stuff in the world and problems that we all face, how there so much pain and hurt and no religion gave me answer why it all happens, I stopped believing God as in something magnificent, big, and endlessly loving.
Now I live empty, faithlessly, like a shell without nothing in it. This life ain't so pretty any more. Sure, everything goes well for me, but I feel deep inside that nothing fulfills me.
People, what experiences do you have?
How to regain my faith?
I miss believing that this whole life really has a purpose. I miss someone to have to follow. And above all I miss God.
The other side of story was so much illogical belief like going to hell for one mortal sin and so on and so on...
Little by little, exploring and questioning, I came to a point where I stopped believing. Not just in Catholic church but in God himself. Better to say, seeing all the stuff in the world and problems that we all face, how there so much pain and hurt and no religion gave me answer why it all happens, I stopped believing God as in something magnificent, big, and endlessly loving.
Now I live empty, faithlessly, like a shell without nothing in it. This life ain't so pretty any more. Sure, everything goes well for me, but I feel deep inside that nothing fulfills me.
People, what experiences do you have?
How to regain my faith?
I miss believing that this whole life really has a purpose. I miss someone to have to follow. And above all I miss God.

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Sunny,
I think I'm feeling something similar to what you're describing. Please correct me if I'm wrong. We're taught that God is loving and will help us through everything. Then we look around and see all the depravity and pain and suffering and chaos. Then we look back at those early teachings and the reality of life, combined, and all of a sudden we just look like pawns, or ants in an ant farm. I saw it years ago and maybe you have, too: an episode of the Twilight Zone where the people keep getting shaken up and transported mysteriously. Then at the end of the episode it pans out and they were really all just dolls in a dollhouse. That's how I've been feeling. Is that similar to what caused your doubt?
It's about feeling loved completely just for who we are, without needing to meet any standards or expectations or be "good enough". Just good enough as we are, when nobody's looking and we're not "sucking in our guts", as it were. The need to know that we're ultimately not alone and somebody's looking out for us, even if we do have to fight our own battles. The feeling that things feel chaotic now, but it'll come together at some point because someone who loves us will orchestrate it to our best interest.
I hope you find your answers, Sunny! I'd love to hear more about your thoughts on this. (I stopped reading at post 30, so I've got to finish reading the thread. Maybe I'm answering my own questions.) Take care!
Kristin,
Yeap, the way you described the Twilight Zone episode is exactly how I feel sometimes. I have a feeling someone is playing with us since everyone's saying their theories and no one knows the truth, while so many people in this world are in pain of some sort. I think it's not fair to "put" us here to "learn" something and therefore to "progress" in our soul's development.
I think I often feel like someone's playing with me, and that feeling is present especially when I'm feeling down and without any vision whatsoever. I think anyone who's experiencing life without a meaning period knows what I'm talking about. Nothing makes sense and no matter what anyone says I can't be satisfied with it. I often speak directly to God and tell him that I have a feeling he's abandoned me and that I feel like he's playing with us all here.
I don't know anything but one thing is for sure, if i don't get some life's meaning soon, my life will pass in total meaningless and emptiness... and when I get some life's meaning finally, I know for sure the feeling of us being played by someone will disappear then :)
Sunny,
My thoughts lately run along this line: Why should I submit myself to a chessmaster who only wants me here for his amusement and praise. What's to praise if I'm fighting all my own battles and feel abandoned all the time?
If I have to do everything in my life for myself and do it alone anyway, I'm not subjecting my will for anybody's unless they're willing to fight for me and help me. I don't think this is coming across the way I want it to, but I can't seem to find the right words. These are pretty close, though.
Kristin,
Finally someone to reply who goes to similar thing :)
If you read all the posts here you might come to conclusion, like me, that this whole world is blessed with having a meaning of life inside their hearts.
I am happy for them, but what about us who don't and can't accept just basic thoughts found in some books or tought by some people who apparently communicate with higher beings? Why can't I get answers myself when I need them so badly and desperately?
It will remain a mistery to me until I receive answers...
You're not alone in your thinking at all Kristin.
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Sunny, I want to try and answer this question. It's a common question that keeps a lot of people from believing in God. I don't think anyone knows 100% why God does what He does, but here's what I think. Pain and suffering are results of sin, and sin isn't God's will for his children. God created us to have a perfect relationship with Him, and to be loved by him. However, sin entered the world and kept us away from God. God in the old testament actually punished people for their sins, maybe he still causes certain things to happen - but not without a good reason. Everything God does is for a greater good. The way I see it is, even God's punishment is better for us than what sin would do to us if we don't repent and change our hearts. Many parts of the world are being tranformed by Christ as we speak. An entire village would come to Christ, as a result, people are being supernatrally healed, lands that are once unfertile are now producing crops, people are receiving visions from the divine - all through prayer and worship. God saves us from ourselves, he doesn't cause things to happen just so that we can suffer. God would turn us over to our own sin or allow things that would happen naturally as a result of us being against God so that we would know how bad sin is, and how good it is to do God's will.
I hope this helps. I used to have the same question. But instead of asking why God would allow this to happen, I saw that a lot of the sufferings in the world are caused by people, not God. We are dead in our sins, all we do are evil things. We murder, lie, steal, cheat and cause pain to others. We don't love each other. Instead of asking why all this suffering, I asked: where can I find righteousness and justice? Who would save us from all this evil? Who will reward those that are good and judge those that do evil? Then I found God, and he changed my heart, my mind and my soul. So don't just stand there and ask how can there be all this pain and hurt and problems, start changing yourselve to do things God's way, and become God's child so that you too, can be the salt and light of the world. God's children, together with God can eradicate all the pain, hurt and suffering. God is good.
Edited 9/11/2006 5:54 pm ET by yc0612
The moment I started reading your post I immediately figured you must be in some sort of Christian religion.
If you've read all posts you'd see I came out of this religion exactly because of the things you state here. This is a black and white world that doesn't hold the water. We are black, god is white, with dots of black (when he punishes us and sends to hell), that all isn't exactly what I'm looking for. I was catholic for a long time and when I started thinking with my own head I found my way out of it.
So thanks for reply but...
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I'm sure someone else has already gone down this path with you before, but I'm just curious as to what caused you to stop believing. My post seemed to have turned you off. What is it about Christianity that you don't agree with? I don't believe in blind faith. I had my own doubts and questions and I looked for answers. The Bible itself teaches to test everything and not just accept without question.
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