Lost My Faith!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Lost My Faith!
10
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 6:56pm
My dh died on 12/24/2005 of a brain aneurysm suddenly and left me and six kids!  It was horrible for all of us and my faith seems to have disappeared.  Many told me God had a plan but could not see this without my dh.  We were married for 24 years and best friends.  I am praying here and there but cannot go back to church.  My kids returned to youth group in February and know I should be in church with them.  Am not really mad at God but guess I am frustrated.  It has been very tough without my dh and do not see the good in this and kind of sick of being told there was a reason for it.  Can anyone help me with this?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: capecod89
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 7:26pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
In reply to: capecod89
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 12:34am

Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: capecod89
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 11:37am

Good for you!

Avatar for bewildered05
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: capecod89
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 10:17am

I am so sorry that this happened to you. I can relate. My husband died of pancreatic cancer on 1/11/97. It was on my oldest daughter's 13th birthday. We had been married almost 15 years. I was left with 5 children, the oldest was 13 and the youngest was 18 months. He was on ordained Catholic deacon. I attended 7 years of classes with him when he was in formation. When he died, I also stopped going to church. I wasn't mad at God but was mad at "someone". I was very confused. I stopped praying, too. Eventually, I found my way back to God but it took almost a year. God understands, afterall, He created us.
Give yourself time. You will find your path.

Hugs,
Lynne

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: capecod89
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 4:20pm
My husband died 14 years ago, before Thanksgiving. My dad died on my mom's B'day. So many people die around the holidays. Maybe the spirit doesn't like winter. Anger is part of grieving, the old 4. shock, anger, depression and acceptance and having them jump around. When you think you are there, some emotion comes up. All I can say is, I knew when he died he finished his job on earth and I did not cause i was still here. His kids (4) stopped contacting me. I lost 5 people. Luckily my kids have their dad. I had 2 marriages.
I did have a spiritual base, not religion, but the base that we are all one, connected etc I knew when the stereo went on itself and shut off itself he did it etc
My girlfriend is a medium. I asked her if she could bring him in, she felt a different energy and said things from him. I wasn't sure it was him so I asked what i cooked for him that he liked the best. Decided to change the question, as I thought it wasn't fair to ask a spirit!!!!!!!!(:- ) I didn't say it out loud. I thought, what did you drink for breakfast? My girlfriend said, " tea" he was a tea drinker. I know he is around and that it was him.
Even though I had the beliefs, I cried a lot, felt empty, froze, wore his long undrwear and curled up next to the base board heaters with a blanket over my head, heat turned way up amd still froze. I cried at work and hated to come home to am empty house. Woud you believe I have had 2 boy friends since. Life goes on and on with all our emotions, people coming and going. Nothing stays the same. I do understand, what can we do but go thru the process with love from others until we can stand a little stronger, eventually we feel whole. Love, Leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
In reply to: capecod89
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 8:44pm

God never stops loving us, no matter what we are doing, because God is Love. I know that God loves you, the children, and your husband, without any conditons. I know that this love includes all the comfort, understanding, and supply of your practical needs.

Just knowing this each day has really helped me through difficult and confusing times. I am grateful to know that God, Love is right where you are, and will never leave your side. Even if you are not feeling this now I know that you will because God has always come through for me even when I couldn't feel love at all for a time.

I have often found encouragement and help from the articles on the websight spirituality.com -- Perhaps you could find some comfort there, too.

Many warm regards to you and your children,
Janet

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
In reply to: capecod89
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 1:07am

I am sorry about your dh!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
In reply to: capecod89
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 1:14am

Sorry you had to go through so much along with the loss of your dh!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: capecod89
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 6:06am
It has only been a year, the holidays and anniversary make it worse, seems like at the first anniversary it is happening again. you will get better. Meanwhile, do something, go somewhere, meet people. I joined a course in miracles after he died to meet spiritual people. ACIM is good for anyone. Any near you? Making new friends is positive. Love, leila
Avatar for bewildered05
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: capecod89
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 8:49am

I remember doing that with his clothes. I sold the house after 2 years because the neighborhood was going down hill and because of the memories. My oldest daughter was my biggest help.
When to start dating...hmmm...I think I waited 8 years before I started dating. Take your time. Whenever you're ready. I remember my youngest kids asking me when they'd get a new daddy. That just about broke my heart. I'd tell them to ask God since He's in charge. I am dating now and really like the guy but I don't know if I'd ever be ready for marriage again.

Take it one day at a time.

Hugs