Very confused spirituality.... help.
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| Wed, 01-17-2007 - 4:52am |
Hi.. I'm new here and to be honest with you guys, not going through the best of times. I guess you could say that I'm "agnostic" when it comes to GOD. Although I would love nothing more than finding the truth... it's just not coming very easily for me. That coupled with the winter here in the NE.. and some other lifes circumstances, all ads up to feeling pretty bad. Sorry if it sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself. That is not my intention. It's just that I feel very isolated and alone right now.
What makes it difficult also is I read lots of information here on the internet about people who have had different things happen to them in their life, that so of proves to them or enhances their belief in GOD. All kinds of things like NDEs, visions of light, surreal type dreams... feelings of a calmness coming over them... and on and on and on. Many of the people who claim these things were not even very spiritual to begin with, some even being atheists. I have read "numerous" accounts of things like that.
Now.. I'm not saying "everyone" has had these happenings, but if you are fortunate enough to be blessed by such an event, it would seem to reason that that would make it so much easier to believe in GOD, or a supreme being... "something"
I am just very confused as to why GOD will reveal himself to people in such profound ways, such dramatic and eventful happenings that have to come from above... whereas for others, he keeps them searching in darkness. Because, if there is a GOD and he truly knows me, he would know I am lost and surely searching for him.
Thanks guys... sorry if I sound kinda depressing, but that's how I feel right now.
DAVID

David, I'll write later when I have time. First winter is hard on a lot of people. I get phobic on ice and would rather stay home and hibernate.
I did not believe. I started to pray, I listened, that's when it started. Ya gotta be open, ask to hear, then listen and watch. Love, Leila
Welcome, David.
Hi David,
I know what you mean about winter weather, all the clouds and darkness make it real tempting to just get dragged down. However, I've come to realize it is just too hard to dig myself out if I let myself get dragged down. I've found, with work, I can stay out of the ditch. Here is what I do -- I insist on looking at the good, no matter how little good I can find, I'm grateful for it and then I look for somemore good. It can take effort but it is really worth the effort.
I first discovered this when a friend of mine and her 4 children were homeless. I was feeling very concerned about her and encouraged her to call a Christian Science Practitioner for help. The practitioner shared her own experience where she had risen from similar circumstances through gratitude. She encouraged my friend to be grateful. My friend found it difficult at first to find anything to be grateful for -- but she had been inspired by the conversation so she kept trying. Finally she decided she was grateful that she had shoes, even though they were the wrong size and they were really hurting her feet, she figured it was better to have shoes than to be barefoot in the winter in Chicago. From this humble beginning my friend found more things to be grateful for and in a short time she had a new home in a better location and she and her two older children had work. I figure if my friend could be grateful for a pair of painful, ill fitting shoes there has to be something good I can be grateful for.
God, the principle of goodness, is right where you are. Keep loving good and you'll get to know it.
Warm regards,
Janet
Thank you so much for all the kind and thoughtful replies!
DAVID