I have a serious question

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2007
I have a serious question
5
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 5:01pm
How much abuse in a relationship is enough given our Christian beliefs on divorce? My good friend has been dealing with her husband for 15 years comming home drunk, or not at all. Everytime, he says he is going to change, but never does. She won't leave him because the Bible says to forgive, so she forgives over and over only to be hurt over and over. She is so depressed and has three kids who are hitting the teen years and are starting to act out in anger and rebellion. The entire family has suffered under this man. Is there a scriptual basis for divorce or that enough is enough and she would be free from the guilt of leaving this loser? Thanks. I am going to share your replys with her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 5:31pm

I understand that your friend holds the belief that it says in the Bible she cannot divorce.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2001
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 1:09am

I would think that since marriage vows typically include "I promise to love and honor you", and abusing one's spouse does neither of those things, she should be able to be granted an annulment. This man is NOT living up to his promise. AND, if she can prove that he was drunk at the time of the marriage, she could probably get an annulment (which would declare the marriage invalid: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annulment)

Also, as far as the Bible saying to forgive, that's fine and dandy but if your friend has children and her husband is bringing potential harm to them, how is she going to forgive HERSELF for allowing them to remain in a harmful environment?

So sorry to hear that she's been going through this...positive thoughts for her and her family...
Best wishes,
~V

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 7:11pm
Hi there. if abuse is physical ot emotional, no one should take it for a second. if he is just not there for her because of the disease of alcoholism, she really should go to alanon and get a sponsor and go for a while before she thinks divorce unless she is really sick of it. Sounds like she is staying because of religious beliefs. she could also get a counselor, one who understands alcoholism, not all do. it is a family disease. she needs help and love and to get herself to be happy whether he is drinking or not. leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Fri, 03-30-2007 - 4:26pm
Jesus taught about having life full and abundant.. and being in an abusive life its not abundance. John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. She is more married to God then to her own husband. He is suffering due to lack of wisdom. She is also suffering due to lack of wisdom. She needs to get more confidence in herself.. Abuse is not a requirement in life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Fri, 03-30-2007 - 9:23pm

Hi, spiritdove.