When your path takes a "bad" turn

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
When your path takes a "bad" turn
12
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 12:02pm

You're going along, and life is good.  You have family and friends you love and enjoy spending time with.  Your job is satisfying and your coworkers supportive.  Your spiritual life is peaceful and nurturing...


Then up ahead on your path you see a turn into a darker place.  It's not certain you have to go that way yet, but it's very possible you will.  Life as you know it will change.  You won't be able to do your job, your financial situation will take a drastic down-turn, and the rest of your journey will be dark.  Friends and family will still be there to help, but you will have to rely on others like never before. 


I am looking ahead to this and do not want to go.  Anyone ever been there, standing on your path and not wanting to go where it leads?


Bink 


Not really into Siggees...
 
Not all who wander are lost.
(J.R.R. Tolkien)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 2:49pm

Hi Barb,

That's exactly where I've been and just easing my way out. My approach was to bite the bullet as I know this dark detour is inevitable, and will eventually pass. I have come out stronger, it forced me to ground myself. But still lost. And a little shaken. I try to think of it as a turning point, and an opportunity for improvement and new approaches.

Just remember not to take anything too personally. Bad things happen to good people due to uncontrollable external factors. Remain open and flexible.

It all sounds cliche but it's proven cliche.

My sympathies.

-gnd-

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 10:31am
Unfortunately, it's called "Life." This is a sore subject for me, because I have such a hard time understanding why, when things are going well, something happens to "upset the applecart". What I have learned from others is that comfort zones makes us complacent. It is during the difficult times that we have to reach deep down and reinforce our faith (my friends call it flexing my spiritual muscles). In order to become stronger, we must face our weaknesses, and the only way to do that is through hardship. It is the rare person who strives for spiritual fitness when everything is going great. Each difficult situation is an opportunity to grow. Once we get past the fear, anger and disappointment we see what it is we need to learn. It helps sometimes just knowing you are not alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2001
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 2:13pm

My path some years ago now, led to unemployability due to major hearing loss. My identity had always been in my work. I have felt purposeless. To lose that identity pulled the rug out from under me emotionally and psychologically. I have been heavily depressed for some years now, sometimes to the point of being incapacitated. What gets me out of bed is my Mika dog and my DH & DD.

Now that I'm 60, I fear loss of mental functioning, loss of physical mobility and health. I fear loss of financial stability, and I fear having to live in an institution because we can no longer care for ourselves. I fear the same for DH. Do we have the courage to face this last awful challenge -- growing old and decrepit? Gradually losing our minds and our bodies? That is what I think about now.

That I am here is a testament to my DH, DD & Mika. And to my Goddess and God. They are teaching me how nature's seasons also operate within my own body and my life. I am still fearful of what is to come, but I know each of us must face it, and I feel Their presence walking with me most of the time. I just have to turn my mind toward Them. They have sent me help in the form of my Pagan Circle and the UU church.

So, I try to seek balance between the Yin and Yang. The Light and the Dark. Find courage and hope that I gave up on long ago. And live one day at a time. And find some joy and meaning in each moment. To accept the "good" days and the "bad" days with more equanimity, that I still have value as a human being, reflected in the eyes of family and friends and my Mika.

Hugs and tears,
Gypsy
)O(



Blessings,

Gypsy

)O(



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2003
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 2:52pm
Hi, I am new to this board. You are pretty vague in describing your situation. Yes, I have "gone down a path" in my life that has caused us to have to depend on family for help quite a few times. We have, with God's help, come back out on top. I just wonder if what you are facing is something totally out of your control? I guess I ask that because normally if I can see it coming then there is perhaps something I can do about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 10:19pm

Welcome, betterme!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 8:14pm
gypsey, ever look into cochlear implants??????? my 8% "understanding sound" ear went to 70%. leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 8:19pm
been like that this week. my oldest son, who is always there for me, moved to Seattle for a promotion this week. I felt lost, got into all the what ifs: what if i need him, get sick, need a ride to the hospital, need anything!!!!!!!!! I felt so alone. plugged into not having a boyfriend, getting older, we do get more vulnerable geting older. My ears are better but i am not good on the phone at this point and worry about work. all this life stuff is quite a challenge. The day does come when we have God and us. i guess it is here now in some degree. Love, Leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2001
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 9:03pm

Good to see you, Leila. Missed you! :)

Thanks for the input. My insurance and the audiologist say I'm not eligible yet for an implant. As long as they say I haven't lost enough of my hearing, *I* have to pay 100% out of pocket for hearing aids. The insurance co. has to pay for the implants because it's surgery, so they make people wait as long as possible.

My friend with one still cannot hear on a regular telephone and has had her implant for years. She still needs her TTY or the IP-Relay service thru her Blackberry or her computer. Fortunately her job is providing assistance in an apt. complex for the deaf and severly hard of hearing, as many need housing assistance because they are under employed or unemployed and older. So of course, the equipment is deaf and hard of hearing friendly. No "regular" telephones there in that office. ;)

Gypsy
)O(



Blessings,

Gypsy

)O(



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 9:27pm
Gypsey, check with the hospitals that do it. They have raised the numbers. I was under 40% in one ear and 46% in the other and I had it done. It sounds like i was better than you when I had the surgery. leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2001
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 12:01pm

I have no choice of hospitals. The insurance we have is all-inclusive, has it's own hospital, labs, pharmacies. It's through DH's employer. It's good coverage, but it's a "closed system."

Gypsy
)O(



Blessings,

Gypsy

)O(



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