What to do when faith is lost?
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What to do when faith is lost?
| Tue, 06-05-2007 - 6:33pm |
I believe that I've lost what little bit of faith that I had left.
I'll admit that I've never had a lot of faith to begin with. But a protracted divorce, dealing with the outrageous accusations and actions of my Ex...loss of the few friends that I had, and a bankruptcy...it's just all sapped me dry.
Even the good changes in my life (been remarried for a year now) hasn't brought me back at all. I've never understood the Bible, let alone how to apply it to my life. I'm left with following the moral compass that my parents gave me, but I'm left to guess most of the time.
My new wife has a great faith...but I just cannot get myself turned around to embrace it with her.
All I'm left with is a "Now what?"

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As one who's been there (to an extent) my heart definitely goes out to you because it can be (and was for me) one of the hardest times in my life. One of my biggest fears as a believer is that I will have to experience it again. Feeling far from faith is excruciating, especially if you grew up with it as an ever-present part of your existence.
I read a book called "Walking Away From Faith" when I was questioning what I believed and why I believed it. It touched on something that I found helpful and, in hindsight, extremely comforting. There is a term called "the dark night of the soul" taken from a poem by St. John of the Cross which basically refers to the feeling of spiritual abandonment many believers go through.
I can't tell you the purpose of this period in your life, but I can promise you there is one. But no one other than you and God can flesh that out. The only thing I can tell you that would be remotely helpful is DON'T GIVE UP. I know that it can feel like you are holding on to a string in the middle of a tornado, but you can find a way through it if you want to.
But also, do not be afraid to search and study elsewhere. I took a religion course at the community college and then read C.S. Lewis and Francis Schaeffer and Lee Strobel to balance myself out. Look to others who have made it farther than you and see what they have to say. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you have them. And please share with your wife what you're struggling with and ask her along every step of the way.
I wish there were easy answers for this time, but there aren't. The only thing I can say is to be as patient as your nature will allow - and when you can't be patient anymore, scream, yell, cuss and rail against God. He can take it and He'd rather you be honest. :)
I hope this was even a little bit helpful. I tend to blather on when I get going. My apologies if this was long-winded...
I think most "lost faith" probably wasn't worth holding on to in the first place.
AZ-Blended:
I like that you are vulnerable and open. Wish I had those characteristics.
I'm very close to God. Grew up on the Bible; didn't mean anything to me until I experienced the Holy Spirit for myself as an adult.
Christ promises us the Spirit upon His departure so we're to invite Him (the Holy Spirit)into our lives. God is a gentlemen; the scriptures state that He stands at the door and knocks. He doesn't push himself in, therefore, we are as close to Him as we choose to be.
If you invite the Holy Spirit in, He'll guide you, or have a trustworthy guide to lead you, to the Biblical scriptures, people, churches, jobs, events, etc. that will allow you to be rooted/firmly secured in yourself and in the Word. There, you won't feel the need to question yourself because you'll be in a God-secured place. Get there, so that you can help another find their way. Being God secured is what we should all strive for; you've experienced what it's like to lose everything including your esteem because of someone else, now experience God's spirit and walk in the firmness of the faith. Job is a good story to reflect on because He lost so much.
I'd advise finding a church because, according to the scriptures, even Christ went, just to show us that it's important to go. I don't advise jumping to join a church, though. Churches have their doctrine or perspectives, many of which may not be comparable to your needs, but there are also some great churches, with hungry, hungry people who need to hear your story to survive. In the meantime, know that God is available at church, but He's also there when you're listening to jazz, with you watching your wife as she makes dinner, if that's the culture of your home. Unless it is truly offensive, God likes what you like and simply enjoys your presence.
You don't seem to be broken, hurt, but defintely not broken, because you've moved on and your profile states that you are pleased with your new wife. I think that you are awesome and inspiring and I hope that next Blog, you're sharing your strength and victory.
You have the best of my prayers.
Sometimes we are looking so hard we cannot find what we are looking for, KWIM? :P My mother always told me when I was freaking because I couldn't find some item, that it will always be in the last place I look. LOL! :D I thought that was so mysterious and wise! ;)) Actually, now, I see it as a Zen statement, like "Wherever you go, there your are" kind of thing. :P
I have spent a lot of my adult life spiritually seeking. Reading many books (I have groaning bookshelves, still, of books encompassing my 40 years' journey) and then sitting quietly in a meditative state that allowed me to sift through what I read. See what resonated within my own spirit and made sense to me. Take some solitude and alone time to hear my own voice, my own wisdom, and let that guide me to the right path.
The Beliefnet quizzes are great and can be helpful. They aren't 100% accurate for every person, of course, but they can give you some indications. Another site where you can read about different belief systems is www.religioustolerance.org and that may provide additional information to the Beliefnet site.
I guess what I've learned mostly about this spiritual seeking journey is not to be in too big of a hurry to say, "I've found it!" To be patient, give myself time, carefully sift through and try out different churches and read many viewpoints. Most importantly for me, was to not allow others' words and thoughts to supersede what my own inner wisdom and "gut" were telling me. We each have our own seeking to make, to find our own specific path. Another Zen type saying, "It takes as long as it takes." ;)) You'll know when you've "found it."
Wishing you blessings and growing clarity on your journey.
Gypsy
)O(
Blessings,
Gypsy
)O(
Well that is enough of my rambling; I think you can find faith if you want to by making up your own prayers, spending time alone thinking about life and what you want, and see if you feel different; in other words, find out who you are apart from all the daily stuff and effects of others,and see what makes you tick, and what you want from life and then your faith would come back.
Hi Lori.
Hi everybody
I haven't come for a very long time, and I don't come as often as I used to do, a very long time ago.
But I do know BinkyBee and Gypsy..
when I read the first posting on this subject, I thought, that I needed to think very carefully, what to tell this person. As I am too an ex Roman Catholic, an ex follower of the pentacostals and Evangelicals and the whole charismatic movement..
I too was disappointed in the people who were in those churches, their ministers, priests.. and one could go on and on.
I wanted to be very careful with what I was going to say, so I decide to read the other responses... and When I read Binky's, Gypsy's ... I thought, how well they had put MY thought on paper. The RIGHT words of encouragement and support for the poster of this subject.
My change, came along rather gradually. a little bit from here, a bit from there and I eve kept a bit of customes from my roman catholic religion. The wiccas, pagans and druids even helped me. with their opinions and viewpoints etc etc etc.all this when I was in my beginning years of the age of 50s.
Today? I don't belong to any church, I steer away from people who go on about their christian believes, YET, I happen to have a student under my care, whom I told, that I first of all, couldn't be her master-teacher and that I wasn't even the person to teach her on her path.. But guess what, she is my student now.. and we do have to go along each other's path, for the time being. AND SHE is a christian and is beginning to see, how the path, she is on, CAN embrace and be complimented by what she is learning on her path! And her path is complimenting what she is learning in and for her life, through the windows and doors I show her as challenges.
I have to say, after reading Binky's and gypsy's postings, that it lifted my heart, that all of a sudden, I realized, WHY I ALWAYS liked their postings, felt supported by it, underwritten at times... sigh, NOW I know. There is a common threat and ladies? thanks so much, as it means quite a bit to me.
I am used to be alone and to go it alone from early childhood; as an oak on the top of the hill, sometimes the storms and winds, are hard on an old body.. But when I meet people like you? it brings balm to my branches and my leaves and my roots to go on a bit longer and that it is OK and that I AM: OK!
I am walking my own path today and my hub is walking his and my sons are walking theirs. They don't get along very congenially at times, but somehow? the more different I am from them? the more I feel solid in my roots and my path.... and at the end of the days, when the crunch is there... funny enough.... tis MY roots and MY branches, and MY beeing the old crackedly looking oaktree on that spot on that hill, that all turn to and ask me to pray for them... and burn their candles on MY altar....
So Az blended? I say, the one thing that might be your guide in all this, your help forward? is just to stand still for a time? isssss. to take the advice of bringing yourself to a stop.. take time out... take a look around.. spend some time walking around in nature by yourself... or spend some time, just sitting and be still and let your thoughts, feelings and emotions come to the fore and DO ASK OUT LOUD for help and guidance as to where to go.... Answers? WILL come and usually in a most unusual way or manner.
Somewhere in the old testament scriptures there it says the following: Be still and KNOW that I AM GOD... (heee, I am no longer a follower of this christian or Jewish God, but I do acknowledge great wisdom in those words!!)
I have no god, I have an Infinite Source, of whom I am a part and who is a part of me... and IT is always with me, and I am always with it.
And perhaps? for the beginning? you might have to find yourself? FIRST?! before finding your path or a new religion.
and eh eh Binkydear, gypsygal? sigh, I wish I could personally, face to face? press you upon my flat chest and let you FEEL, HOW much I DO Sooooo like yee!!!
greets from that old brush.
he he !! I just reached that funny age of 65, sigh, when I see myself? I sigh!! I DON'T FEEEEl 65.. I feel AGELESS and as if I have ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD!!!
anyway, keep well and hugs from that brush
Hi, Brush.
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