What to do when faith is lost?
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What to do when faith is lost?
| Tue, 06-05-2007 - 6:33pm |
I believe that I've lost what little bit of faith that I had left.
I'll admit that I've never had a lot of faith to begin with. But a protracted divorce, dealing with the outrageous accusations and actions of my Ex...loss of the few friends that I had, and a bankruptcy...it's just all sapped me dry.
Even the good changes in my life (been remarried for a year now) hasn't brought me back at all. I've never understood the Bible, let alone how to apply it to my life. I'm left with following the moral compass that my parents gave me, but I'm left to guess most of the time.
My new wife has a great faith...but I just cannot get myself turned around to embrace it with her.
All I'm left with is a "Now what?"

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Dear AZ;
I hope this posting finds you still open, still searching, but with a happier heart.
I have read in this board for months, but don't post. Searching for ones faith is probably one of the hardest parts of our life journeys. It is however, comforting to see that for most of us? it is a vital part of our life in some form or another. We all seem to agree that there IS indeed a creator, a divine source, from which our very existence was given, we did not just spawn from a simple blob, organism, into what we are when we look in the mirror and around us. We DID NOT just happen to evolve into our current solid matter form, by chance.
I too? have spent my life on this 'faith' journey. Being led for many years? by other human beings. Seemingly so "connected", learned, they must be right, they must know?
Thru many churches, which i saw a lot of genuine hearts, but somehow, in the 'collective' they seemed to have gotten tangled up in the human interpretations, and in 'control',that I eventually felt, I wasn't feeling "God", but following their instructions of God instead, and so, was still empty.
And so, I journeyed on. For a great part of my life, I just put it all aside and concentrated on this world. And? too, found it full of deceit, dishonesty, greed, cruelty, and a lot of ugliness, now that scared me. Oh yes, there is still much beauty, love, and wonderful peoples here, but one must navigate carefully, thru this world.
Then, in the pit of darkness,in my life, I came to that divine source and being. Darkness is not my nature,and when I opened my true heart, truly searching, I found Him, He was patiently waiting, for ME to open my heart. He was there all the time, where I had been and what I had been thru? had been my own choice. And He allows us our own choices, that's why we are here. I asked with all my heart, and that's when my faith was born. I was accepted for who I was, just as I was, with so much love. I now look back at the 'bad' times, and peoples in my life with compassion, some with pity, but with thankfulness now, because had I not gone thru that? I would not be where I am now.
It is not found in a church, WE are the church. I understand, with much more compassion, the church collective thing, & I think it is important. But, we are only human, religion is where we get all screwed up. That is the "man" part of faith. In many church collectives? I know the Divine is present, in many? He is not, would like to be, but is not. I also prayed/asked for His truth, not mans intrepretation, and for the discernment to know the difference, as I realized faith, is between one heart and the divine directly connected. Now? I am never without Him, and? my life and being have been completely turned around, and my 'faith', I ask every day for it to be strengthened, and so it is.
So my friend, your faith, and the Divine Source, God as I know it, is waiting right inside of you, to be found between you and Him only. We can spend our lives searching, but to be found? requires a direct personal relationship only you and He have, within your own heart. I find it to be? the greatest saving grace this world has to offer. Just ask, and the journey has begun, what will be revealed is beyond description. Anyways, that is a part of my own heart and journey.
Prayers,Intent,Light,Love,Peace - and Grace be yours.
Thank you for hearing MY story, and bearing with the length.
Thank you so much for delurking.
You haven't lost your faith you've just lost your belief in organized religion. I found that if I keep it simple then my faith is simple. God is my creator, my father, my protector, my confidante, and on Earth some other people arbitrarily decided what rules they liked to make up their "religion" just because I don't want to follow the rules of your "religion" does not make me any less a believer.
As long as God is the head of my life does it really matter if I kneel to pray or stand, if I confess to some other man my sins, or just take them to God himself. Are Hail Marys and lighted candles what Jesus preaches in the Bible or are they aesthetics that man has made up to give their "religion" umph.
Everyone practices "relgion" differently Lori, don't get caught up in the details. Supposedly as long as you just worship the main man and live your life according to HIS rules then you are all good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
Tekoa
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