Anxiety at home

Avatar for angel919
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Anxiety at home
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 10:25am
Hi everyone. I didn't know if this is the right place to post this, but I wanted to get some insight into a problem I'm having recently. I just moved out of my parents' house a few months ago and moved in with my boyfriend. We both got jobs working in another city (4 hours from where I used to live) and now are living together. Our apartment is on the ground floor, so the windows are relatively accessible (if left open) if someone wants to climb in. We have screens on all windows, and the door is double locked, and in the two months that we've lived there, we haven't had any problems. However, many times I feel incredibly anxious about someone breaking in. Little noises, neighbors shuffling upstairs, etc., sometimes make it harder for me to fall asleep, and just this weekend, my BF wanted to close the window when we were leaving because he said that he thought someone tried to break in, based on a tear in the brand-new screen we had installed (that looked like it could be caused by someone trying to rip the screen out of the frame. As a result, I couldn't bring myself to leave the windows open when we went to sleep, feeling like "what if". I've spent nights there by myself when my BF was travelling and I've had the same anxiety then as I do when he's there.

This doesn't happen all the time, and it's never very severe, so I don't lose sleep or get crazy about it. My BF has a gun, and he's offered to keep it close by, but I don't like guns at all and I don't feel like it's going to make me feel safer at all. According to the landlord, they never had any breakins or problems, so I don't know what's causing this. I lived on the 2nd floor with my parents before, and my BF thought that it's probably just not having my parents in the next room that's causing the anxiety, but I feel like it's more than that. I don't like not feeling safe in my house, and even though this is mild, I don't want it to escalate. Any thoughts would be appreciated.


Avatar for cl_calley7
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: angel919
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 10:53pm
Hi Angel919,

Nowadays, it's fairly easy to feel unsafe in a lot of places. I can see how having an apartment on ground level might cause some concern. I also think your boyfriend may be right when he mentioned the fact that your parents are no longer in the same home. This is a big change for you and that could be part of the reason for the way you're feeling. You'll hear different noises that are new for you now but I think, in time, you'll get used to the surroundings and feel more comfortable.

I have a friend that has lived on the ground floor level of an apartment for several years now and she has not had any problems that I'm aware of. I would give it more time and just do the normal things that we all should do to make sure we're as safe as possible. I do believe in keeping windows closed at night and when I'm not home. Actually, because there may be more "traffic" in your area because lots of people live there, it may be safer than some homes. That's just my thought - I'm no expert here but hopefully, you'll feel less anxious as the days go by.