Need to relax.....any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Need to relax.....any suggestions?
6
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 4:47pm
I desperately need some help. I am a full time college student who has been working three part time jobs and trying to keep up with an extremely intense amount of out-of-class projects, papers, and studytime required of my courses. Luckily, my third job has just ended (a one month contract), but my season is just getting busier by the day as the semester begins to wrap up. My problem is that I simply can not relax. Over the past few years, I've also been showing a lot of symptoms of major depression and burnout due to my overly stressful workload and worries and I'm so overwhelmed that I can barely function anymore.

I'm in a long distance relationship with an older man who does everything that he can to help me by listening to my problems and worries and does his best to soothe me, but I feel so terrible about unloading on him all the time. He says he doesn't mind and encourages me to discuss my problems openly with him, but I feel like that's all I ever do is unload an endless stream of worries upon him, which doesn't even really make me feel better, but causes him to needlessly worry about me. He's really all that I have right now, because I don't have any other friends, because I just transferred to a new school and am living away from home for the first time in an apartment on the school campus.

I'm terribly afraid of and do not trust doctors, so I never undergo any evaluations or treatments. Even if I broke down and decided to go to one, I couldn't afford to anyway.

I have tried some of the suggested relaxation tips that I have seen suggested online, however, when I try them, I simply can not concentrate on relaxing, because my mind is just racing. Even if I manage to find time to take a hot bath, I stay tense because my mind is constantly building a working to-do list or worrying about everything.

My muscles hurt all the time from staying tense, so much so, that I sometimes cry myself to sleep. I try to avoid taking over the counter medication for my constant muscle pain, because I'm afraid that I'll become too addicted. (I had an injury years ago that harmed my lower back and I relied so much on Tylenol-like medications to ease the pain from sitting long hours in classrooms that they are no longer effective in easing my muscle pain, but I continued to use them in hopes that it would be effective until I realized that I was becoming mentally dependent on it and stopped.) I can't afford (financially or time-wise) a massage or any special treatments like that, besides, I'd feel too guilty doing so. I'm currently trying to invest in little things I can use at home, such as inexpensive foot soaks, calming facial masks, a vibrating lumbar pillow, etc to help ease my physical symptoms, but I always feel so guilty in doing so, because although they do help a little, I really can't afford these petty little things and should be spending those few precious minutes working, doing chores, or studying because although I'm an excellent (A+ student), my grades are slipping, which increases my stress level at least threefold.

I've been trying to read up on stress and depression management tips, however, none of them are plausible in regards to my overly busy schedule. They all say to make time for regular exercise, take long baths, etc, but I barely have enough time to go to the bathroom, much less making time for other things. I've cut back on every chore and I multitask everything that I can, but still don't have enough time to do all the things I need to do. Does anyone have any suggestions that might help me somehow? I'm desperate to find even minor stress relief suggestions that might ease my anxiety, tension, and make me feel better both mentally and physically.

Avatar for cl_calley7
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 12:13am

Hi Mewissa100,


With your schedule, it looks as though you'll need to

 

Calley7

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 12:10pm
Thank you so much calley7!! I really appreciate your suggestions. I'll look into them as soon as I can.
Avatar for ivhhugs
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 2:30am
Hi mewissa,
You're one very busy lady for sure!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 8:16pm

Hello, and welcome to the board. I see Calley has provided you with some wonderful links, and I hope you found them helpful. This day and age we live in is like no other in history. We have so many opportunities to take advantage of, but unfortunatly it's leaving us all burned-out trying to keep up! Sometimes I wonder if things we're better back in the days where people didn't have as much?? Hmm.


Anyway, hard as it seems to you right now, you are more important than all the things you're currently juggling

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 11:15pm
Congratulations on being promoted to room leader! Thank you so much for replying to my posting. I am starting to feel a little better, because I've finally been able to make some headway on the school assignments that have been plaguing me. This was my first posting here, and I'm very grateful for everyone's advice. I'm going to do my best to take your advice, but I'll probably be back to vent again soon, as finals week is approaching quickly. I am going to try to stablize my financial situation and spend my winter break getting organized, so that hopefully my spring sememster will be less stressful. As for the boyfriend situation, unfortunately, he lives halfway across the country (and he's starting a new job on the other side of the country), so he can't be here for me as much as I need him, but I'm going to try to talk to him about some problems I've been having so that he can help me. Thank you again! ~Melissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 7:10am

Great! Feel free to vent here anythime!! It really does help.Tree


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