Need to relax.....any suggestions?
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|Mon, 11-03-2003 - 4:47pm|
I'm in a long distance relationship with an older man who does everything that he can to help me by listening to my problems and worries and does his best to soothe me, but I feel so terrible about unloading on him all the time. He says he doesn't mind and encourages me to discuss my problems openly with him, but I feel like that's all I ever do is unload an endless stream of worries upon him, which doesn't even really make me feel better, but causes him to needlessly worry about me. He's really all that I have right now, because I don't have any other friends, because I just transferred to a new school and am living away from home for the first time in an apartment on the school campus.
I'm terribly afraid of and do not trust doctors, so I never undergo any evaluations or treatments. Even if I broke down and decided to go to one, I couldn't afford to anyway.
I have tried some of the suggested relaxation tips that I have seen suggested online, however, when I try them, I simply can not concentrate on relaxing, because my mind is just racing. Even if I manage to find time to take a hot bath, I stay tense because my mind is constantly building a working to-do list or worrying about everything.
My muscles hurt all the time from staying tense, so much so, that I sometimes cry myself to sleep. I try to avoid taking over the counter medication for my constant muscle pain, because I'm afraid that I'll become too addicted. (I had an injury years ago that harmed my lower back and I relied so much on Tylenol-like medications to ease the pain from sitting long hours in classrooms that they are no longer effective in easing my muscle pain, but I continued to use them in hopes that it would be effective until I realized that I was becoming mentally dependent on it and stopped.) I can't afford (financially or time-wise) a massage or any special treatments like that, besides, I'd feel too guilty doing so. I'm currently trying to invest in little things I can use at home, such as inexpensive foot soaks, calming facial masks, a vibrating lumbar pillow, etc to help ease my physical symptoms, but I always feel so guilty in doing so, because although they do help a little, I really can't afford these petty little things and should be spending those few precious minutes working, doing chores, or studying because although I'm an excellent (A+ student), my grades are slipping, which increases my stress level at least threefold.
I've been trying to read up on stress and depression management tips, however, none of them are plausible in regards to my overly busy schedule. They all say to make time for regular exercise, take long baths, etc, but I barely have enough time to go to the bathroom, much less making time for other things. I've cut back on every chore and I multitask everything that I can, but still don't have enough time to do all the things I need to do. Does anyone have any suggestions that might help me somehow? I'm desperate to find even minor stress relief suggestions that might ease my anxiety, tension, and make me feel better both mentally and physically.