Christmas stress

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2007
Christmas stress
8
Sat, 12-26-2009 - 12:43pm
Christmas should of been the best day of the year kids dd25 and ds17 were both here and it started out great then h got upset with d for something so stupid and immature and cuz he was upset with her she got upset with him and things went downhill from there. H decided he wasn't going to eat dinner with us but son finally got him to come out of room. We ate but it was not a fun meal I took dd home a while later and h acted all mad cuz she left so early don't know what he expects but it sure made for an emotional day for me. I always try to make everything great for everyone on holidays and it always turns out like crap and Im the one left picking up the pieces with all I can do to not cry. Why can't we just be a normal family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2007
In reply to: dajeha
Wed, 12-30-2009 - 8:32am
Thank you so much for your story, it puts some things into perspective. D was here last night and H was doing same annoying stuff he was on Christmas, "invading her space" as she puts it she told him this is how the trouble started on Christmas she is claustrophobic.
He thinks that she she want to hug him whenever he wants her to ( funny thing is he doesn't hug me, but thats a whole other can of worms I won't go into) and she will hug him when she gets here and before she leaves and says that should be enough but he doesn't think it is since she used to be a hugger when she was little like most little ones are.
I'm sorry to hear that you lost your dad so early in your life.
Take care and have a safe New Year.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
In reply to: dajeha
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 11:21pm

Glad to hear they're on speaking terms again.



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Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
In reply to: dajeha
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 3:20pm

~hugs~


I am so happy that they made up and I bet you are to.


Sounds like everything turned out well...


It's cold here to...expecting snow tomorrow.


With the wind chill it's about -27 I think...


I have on two pairs of socks and am also wearing two pairs of

Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2007
In reply to: dajeha
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 11:13am
Daughter and Husband made up which I knew they would he can't stay mad at her for long especially when she needs something her alternator went out in her car last night at work so he had to go get it and her and get it home so tonight will have to bring it here and change it. Which won't be fun in the cold and snow....(we live in Michigan)Is either that or me running her back and forth which isn't that far (she lives about 5 min away and 2 or 3 min from work) but just a hassle.
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
In reply to: dajeha
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 11:23pm
~hugs~
Thank-you so very much!
Nightangel
Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2007
In reply to: dajeha
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 10:49am
Thank you both for your replies....I think that dh also had a hard time with Christmas when he was younger...for that matter all major days. He get real uptight when any of them come around and it isn't too pleasant for any of us although when kids were younger he was somewhat better.
Son is 17 and he agrees that dh goes overboard with the annoying behavior which makes dd mad then dh gets mad. THey haven't talked since Friday he says he is done but I know he isn't these 2 kids are his world.
I love my dh dearly but our marriage isn't what it should be and he is always making the comment "when I leave..." Some day I just think to myself "then just go..." but truly deep down I don't want that.
I grew up in a dysfunctional home and so didn't want that for my kids but seems like my worst thoughts have came true.
Thank you both again.
Nightangel...I hope your daughter comes thru this tough time unscathed its always hard to lose someone but seems worse at Christmas. THoughts and prayers are with you and her.
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
In reply to: dajeha
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 10:00pm

~hugs~
It is so sad when someone else's experience colours ours.
I have always tried to make it good for my kids dd is twenty-three and ds is twenty but it is hard.
When they were younger I think it was easier and I could hold it together. (I lost my mom at Christmas and also her father my grand-pa)
My dd was a Christmas baby so she has brought me great joy.
My ds is a ray of Sonshine.
For my kids it was always a little bittersweet as their dad and I went through a separation about six weeks before Christmas when they were little.
It was hard that first Christmas but like you I have tried to make it at least a little joyful for my kids and I honour my mom by celebrating.
It's definitely different now that they are older and it is also somewhat less stressful but still...our celebration was ds and me which he is okay with. (he has an anxiety disorder)
For my dd this was her first Christmas ALONE since her and my sil broke up last year.
A friend of hers died Christmas Day and the funeral is tomorrow.
No too sure if she is going or not but we had planned to celebrate her birthday and spend some time together...she wasn't up to coming over on Christmas Day.
We all have the idea that it is a picture perfect day but it isn't sadly.
Unfortunately bad things do happen.
I am glad you tried to make it a wonderful in spite of the obstacle in your way.
My kids now know how hard it was to make it Special for them.
I miss my mom so terribly.
Recently my dad came here because he lost his woman friend just before Christmas.
He has spent his entire time here at my brother's.
I have been hurt but you know I had a nice Christmas with just my ds and myself.
It was quiet and I missed dd but understood she needed/wanted to be ALONE.
Your husband may be reflecting back on when he was younger and for him the holidays were not all that great.
After the holidays are over I would talk to him about how it's affecting everyone including you.
You go out of your way to make it Special.
My ex-fiancé never talked to me all through them (holidays) but honestly I am okay with that.
If he wanted to be miserable he could do it ALONE.
There is only so much we can do and then it's up to them.
I have lights in my bedroom window and a small tree and it made me happy...I will leave it up until after New Year's...I do it for me.
I broke off the engagement with my ex because he has anger issues and is "Abusive"...and Life is definitely too short to waste my time with that and too precious.
I cherish Life.
Honestly I think he wanted me to probably cook his turkey and do the dishes and you know what I would rather be home with my ds and was looking forward to my dd visiting.
Have you thought of maybe doing something different next year?
Trying to make it less stressful for you?
How was your son?
It must have been hard on him to.
I think your husband felt bad after and it must have been terrible for your daughter to.
The commercials make it seem like it's got to be a certain way when in reality that is not the way it usually really and truly is in real life.
I was always disappointed with my ex-husband all he cared about was himself not our kids or me and I am so glad we divorced.
My dad has been a disappointment to both my sister and myself and our kids because he chose to shut us out...We are used to it and I am not going to stress out about it anymore.
It just is not worth it.
~hugs~
<3

Nightangel
Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
In reply to: dajeha
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 2:35pm

I really don't think there is such a thing as a "normal" family.



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