Venting (Overwhelmed)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Venting (Overwhelmed)
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 12:29am


I am new to the Psychology board. I have been feeling really overwhelmed, burnt out and stressed lately. I have recently been dealing with a lot of changes in my life.

Two months ago my boyfriend and I broke up. We were just about to get engaged, had discussed everything. He even talked it over with his dad. We have known each other for almost 10 years, so it has not been an easy situation to deal with. Although I have been doing really well. Focusing on work, school, and keeping busy has helped. I have gone on some coffee dates with some guys as well.

Well a month after we broke up one of my university classes started. I graduated from universiry two years ago, then started working. I was working 6 days a week. But for the past little while I have been so burnt out. I am on call, so lately I have not been getting as many calls which creates a lot of stress for me. Plus, because I am just so mentally and physically exhausted I have been taking some days off.

I have been going to see a counsellor, even though she has told me I am already so aware of things. She is so stunned as to how in touch, and in tunned I am with myself. Which I guess goes along with having a psychology degree, and counselling students, and working with disabilied children. But I find it helps to have that unbiased person to talk to. So because I am working through a lot of my own stuff within myself, plus work, and school. Plus healing from the breakup, and dealing with guys always asking me out etc... I am just feeling so overwhelmed that it is hard to trully focus on my studies. Which then stresses me out, because I am not doing my hwk when I should. Sorry if I sound like I am complaining. Just having a really bad moment and wanted to get it out. Without having to talk to anyone. Even though I have a great support network of family and friends.

Your advice would be appreciated!


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 12:54am

I also feel overwhelmed because there always seems to be a birthday or some sort of social engagment that people want me to attend. My ex bf and I use to always be busy. But it feels as though life has gotten way more busy now that I am single. I am trying really hard to make time for myself, and to balance my life better. Because this is one of the goals I told the counsellor I want to work on. Because I have always had a hard time balance important things in my life. So I would always let something fall to the way side, and then I would end up feeling resenful or upset for not accomplishing all the things I want to get done. I do take time to relax during the week, but at the same time I am not relaxing because I am either too exhausted to do anything fun for myself, or stressing about instead of watching tv I should be studying. So I will go back and fourth about how I need to take care of my health and relax, but then I say to myself well how stressful can reading my textbook be. So I never really shut off my mind, so I end up feeling stress. Plus, lack of proper sleep from stress has not helped either. Don't get me wrong I have had some really great days, and I am impressed with overal how well I have been doing. But I am my own worst enemy, and keep getting frustrated with myself for still missing my ex, and all that. I am just tired of missing the person that I love. Even though at the same time I think it was for the best. As it really made both of us realize what we need to work on within ourselves.

Thanks again for reading this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 8:48pm

Its great to have

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 11:44pm

tardinski.......You're grieving the loss of a relationship and it's only natural to fee the way you do right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Sat, 03-20-2010 - 3:27am

Thank You Missy and Cl-Dlandry1 for the responses.

I agree with you Missy that dating right after getting out of a relationship is not a good idea. I have actually not meant to meet anyone. Just guys seem to approach me when I am out with friends or out at the local bookstore reading. I have only been on two coffee dates. The first guy I only went out with because my girlfriends kept insisting that it would be good for me to distract myself. But I felt bad about that, and was not interested, so I told the guy that I was not interested. Then about 3 weeks ago I met this other guy, and I finally just went for coffee with him on Sunday. Before that he had asked me out 4x. But I was busy, and not willing to drop my life for a guy. Plus like you said Missy all I really want to do right now is go out with friends without having any added stress. I talk to this guy usually only a few times a week if he contacts me. I am keeping it pretty casual, and he just got out of a relationship a few months ago. So we both are just interested in getting to know each other. Which is fine with me. As we both seem to be on the same page. So I am focusing basically on myself and my life. The only problem is that at times a have bad moments. But overall I am doing well. I have gone days without talking about my ex bf. When I go out I generally try to remain present in the moment and enjoy myself. People keep telling me that they can not even tell I just broke up with my bf. Because I look so happy and all that. Which I think is partly, due to the fact that I have time to do things for myself. Plus, when I do go out with friends I want to enjoy myself. Pretty much the only time my ex bf comes up is if my friends bring him up. But lately I have noticed that I am starting to talk more about him. As it seems to be getting harder for me. As I miss him a lot.

I am 27 years old, so right now my life is in a transition, and there are so many things that are stressing me out. So I am just overwhelmed with everything. Most of the stuff that is stressing me out are not huge deals. I am just very hard on myself.

I have a list of goals for myself. I have always wanted to start going to church. But never seemed to get around to it. My ex bf and I both had the same values and believed in god. He grew up going to church, and wanted to go with me. But at the same time it never ended up happening. So one of my goals for myself is to start going to church. Maybe not every week, because my schedule will not allow it. But at least a few times a month. Plus whole bunch of other goals. My ex bf was always very supportive, and would never have an issue with me doing my own thing. But it was me that would put things off, as I had a hard time balancing things. So now I am trying really hard to learn how to better balance my life, and not to feel guilty if I can not be there for someone. As I always feel so bad if I have to put myself or my things a head of those close to me. I am learning to set boundaries for myself. Because everyone in my life is very understand and supportive. But I am the one that always over steps my own boundaries. Because I care so much about the people in my life.

Thanks again.