Upset

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Upset
3
Sun, 03-28-2010 - 9:38pm

Hi again,

The last two weeks have been quite up and down emotionally. I feel great one moment, then not so great the next. Today I joined the church that I have been wanting to go to for a few years. One of my friends came with me. We had a great time, and a wonderful lunch afterwards. I am proud of myself for finally going and doing something that I know will benefit me in the long run. As I have been feeling very stuck for awhile, and wanting to do something more meaningful with my life. However, now that I am home, and only have some studying to do for a test. I am feeling very sad. I have not been able to sleep that well lately. Because I miss my ex bf so much. I have tried so hard to remain positive, and to focus on myself and growing and learning. However, all that does is push how I am feeling to the side. I am trying to respect my feelings and just let myself experience those feelings. However, nothing takes away the hurt I am feeling inside. Everyone that knows me is so impressed how well I am doing, and says how relaxed and happy I come across. Which is true, because I am happy that my life is more balanced right now. However, at the same time there is this void. My life is not dependent upon my ex bf. But he just added something extra special to my life. I am really just not doing well.He has been in my life for over 9 years. So it is really hard for me.

Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
In reply to: tardinski
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 9:13am
It's easy for me to be critical of myself too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
In reply to: tardinski
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 8:25pm

Hi thanks for the reply.

I actually started going to a counsellor a week after we broke up. As part of the reason that I was not happy in my relationship with my ex bf, was because I was not happy with myself. I had talked to my ex boyfriend when we were together about how I felt so unhappy with my accomplishments so far. He would be supportive, and provided positive feedback. Everyone I know thinks that I have done a lot for my age. But I am very critical of myself. Which is partly why I am not happy with myself. So I have been working on issues like this with the counsellor, and also getting back in to things that I love. Because part of the reason I was not happy was because in order to have more balance in my life I stopped doing some things that I enjoyed or at least made me feel good when I was with my bf. Not by his doing. He was always so supportive. It was my own choice for the last 5 months of the relationship to stop doing what I loved. Which in a way I think indirectly affected our relationship. So now that I have been doing more things for myself I feel better inside. But still not fully happy with myself. As I am so critical of myself.

Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
In reply to: tardinski
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 4:13pm

He was in your life for a long time, I think it's probably pretty normal to feel sad and miss him, even to grieve the relationship.