burned out, no relief in sight

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
burned out, no relief in sight
5
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 7:48pm

Hi I'm trying to find help wherever I can get it. I feel very burned out lately. I haven't been on a real vacation for about 8 years. Since I started my current job about 2 years ago, I haven't taken any time off except holidays. I feel I need a vacation and chance to reboot BADLY- I can't focus at work, my sleep patterns are all screwed up leading to screwing up my work out patterns (i.e. I'm not getting up and going!), my house is a mess, I'm all disorganized-- I need a change of scenery, I need to do something for myself.

However, I have less than no money. Despite how much I work, I don't make enough money in this job to afford to pay my student loan payments, rent, and other bills so now in my 30s, for the first time I am relying on my family to help cover the cost of necessities. It's a sort of "do-gooder" job where most of the employees are independently wealthy and don't really seem to need their full-time job to make ends meet. My coworkers go on expensive vacations and do fun things all the time, but I'm there in the office, day in and day out. Basically, I don't have a dime to go anywhere.

But taking a staycation doesn't appeal to me. I worry that I'll get more stressed out staying in my house alone with nothing to do. I'll probably be focused on doing housework and errands and working out, which won't help me relax. Plus, since I can't take time off for another several weeks due to the project I'm working on, what I really want out of a vacation is something to look forward to, and the prospect of a staycation just won't cut it.

I don't know what to do. This is affecting my work and my health. But I see no relief in sight. I can't see myself having enough money to do anything as long as I'm in this job, and for other reasons it's not wise for me to leave this job for another year or so. I'm at the end of my rope. Does anyone have any ideas for ways I can somehow take a "free" vacation (I don't like camping alone, and I don't have equipment so it wouldn't be free anyway). Otherwise, I need away to get through this and plug through for another few years. I need help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 12:17am

The only free vacation I went on was when a friend of mine and her husband had to go out of town for a convention.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 12:27pm

thanks for replying! I really appreciate it because no one has so far taken me seriously on this issue. Everyone assumes I must have *some* money I can spend, or they don't understand why it's such a problem. The fact of the matter is, for the past three years, my life has just been running in together as one long work day. More than anything I need a change of scenery! I want to take a trip with a ton of biking or hiking so I don't have to worry about the stinky old gym! I want to go somewhere that makes other people jealous like all the people around me do! I want to have a memory of doing something fun! I want something to look forward to! My life is just about work and worrying about money. I can't even pursue any of the hobbies I'd like to try because I can't afford it.

As for your suggestions, I think they are great ones, but I don't think they are options for me. My friends are all getting married recently, so they're all about honeymoons and couple time. Plus I don't think anyone would let me freeload, and I'd feel funny asking...I don't think I know anyone with anything planned right now that I could tag along on...I think it is really great that you would let a friend stay with you on vacation for free, that's really quite generous. I think few people are that generous!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 12:58pm

You mentioned you have student loans.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 3:03pm

Oh almost all of my limited amount of travel has been done alone. I never have anyone to travel with. I don't mind it at all, though depending on the trip it can get a little boring, just depends what there is to do. I've just never known anyone who is interested in the same things I am, so I do everything alone. But I don't know if it would be any fun to just spend a week alone in a motel somewhere where I can bike and stuff, I would rather join some kind of organized group for that (which of course increases the cost several fold). I mean, it's kinda like taking a staycation- I don't want to be alone with my thoughts and nothing else for a week! At least coming to work there are people to talk to! It's just like even going up to New Hampshire and biking and hiking alone for a week would be such a significant cost to me, I want to make sure I do something REALLY fun and not waste money, you know?

I don't think I can defer my student loans. I did once but for unemployment. I'm pretty sure you have to prove unemployment or an economic hardship. I remember I had to send them my lay-off papers the last time. I don't think wanting to go on vacation would count :). I guess I could look into it. It would really be the only way I could get some extra money, I don't even credit cards now, they're all maxed out from moving away 5 years ago and then moving back 3 years ago!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2007
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 9:01pm

You absolutely do need to get away, have a break and see some different sites. Can you go and visit a relative in a different state for a week? You need to get away. Put sand between your toes and have wind blow you hair. It does not have to cost much but you need some time to unwind.


Times are tough but, you may want to look for a career which might offer more potential income. It won't be easy today but depending on you skills and what you like to do , there may be something out there which would provide you with more money.