Struggling

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Struggling
2
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 12:19pm
Hope it is alright to just write here sometimes,,,I worry that I might not be conforming to the board properly,,,so I'm sorry if I am not doing things properly. Thought I was feeling 'better',,,but in the last while I felt it depleting on me. Today is hard for me. Been crying a lot and SI'ing and I just so don't want to feel like this. I did make myself call my T to make another appointment after cancelling and failing to reschedule for over 3 weeks. She said she had been thinking about me and wondering how I was doing. I was thinking she probably just didn't care. I don't go until next week though. My head feels so heavy inside I can hardly keep my eyes open for the weight of them. I want to climb into bed and just stay there. I'm not sleepy,,,just feeling so very tired. I am just feeling such saddness that even my tears are not coming enough to try to alleviate some of the build-up inside. *sigh* I just hate it so much when this happens,,,if I embrace it, it is worse for me because then it stays longer and hurts more. Right now I am struggling to keep it away in hopes that I will feel better maybe in a few days,,,but gosh it is hard to do that right now. Anyway thank you for listening to my dribble,,,I probably didn't even make much sense but just really needed to try to get some of this out of me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 12:48pm
So now I was talking with a friend online,,,and I think I upset her and made her worry,,,so now I'm feeling even worse that when someone is kind to me I go and blow it all the time. I didn't tell her much but she knew I was 'not good' and it was wrong of me to IM her because it is hard to know what to say and so I said I had to go and now I wish I hadn't IM'd her because it was selfish of me to do that and make her worry now. I think the best company for myself is me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 4:02pm

Hi there...


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