Struggling
Find a Conversation
Struggling
| Thu, 09-23-2004 - 12:19pm |
Hope it is alright to just write here sometimes,,,I worry that I might not be conforming to the board properly,,,so I'm sorry if I am not doing things properly. Thought I was feeling 'better',,,but in the last while I felt it depleting on me. Today is hard for me. Been crying a lot and SI'ing and I just so don't want to feel like this. I did make myself call my T to make another appointment after cancelling and failing to reschedule for over 3 weeks. She said she had been thinking about me and wondering how I was doing. I was thinking she probably just didn't care. I don't go until next week though. My head feels so heavy inside I can hardly keep my eyes open for the weight of them. I want to climb into bed and just stay there. I'm not sleepy,,,just feeling so very tired. I am just feeling such saddness that even my tears are not coming enough to try to alleviate some of the build-up inside. *sigh* I just hate it so much when this happens,,,if I embrace it, it is worse for me because then it stays longer and hurts more. Right now I am struggling to keep it away in hopes that I will feel better maybe in a few days,,,but gosh it is hard to do that right now. Anyway thank you for listening to my dribble,,,I probably didn't even make much sense but just really needed to try to get some of this out of me.

Hi there...