Concerned about sister's self mutilation

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
Concerned about sister's self mutilation
6
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 3:31am
Hi to all, I am new to this site, but thought I could get some insight on this problem. I recieved one of those middle of the night phone calls from my mother and sister in New Mexico. What's wrong, is the first thing I ask and was told my 15 year old sister wanted to come live with me and my husband and children. Why?, well, she's been cutting herself for 3 years now, and wants help. My husband and I have more resources to help her than my mother and after some disscusion we agreed to let her move in with us.

What I need from anyone who can help, is some information on this. I don't know what questions to ask, where to begin to get her help, or even how to cope with her problems. If there is anyone with experience, firsthand or not, I would be forever greatful to hear your story.

Please and thank you.

Jeanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 12:23pm

Hi Jeanie and welcome to our board! I think you will find us a supportive bunch and so I hope you will stick around and get to know us and let us get to know you as you face the stresses of moving your sister into your home! I have both personal (as someone who has suffered abuse, PTSD, depression, and self mutilation) as well as professional experience and so I think you've come to the right place. Most all of us here have

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Avatar for catfriendlady02
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 6:37pm
Hi and Welcome. I am glad that your sister is asking for your help. Make sure she sees a couselor. There are ways to deal with this ploblem. Its differnt with each person. I am a cutter also. Its still hard for me at times. I am in DBT what is Lori talking about. Its hard for me. It took a time to use the skills with me. We all make mistakes. Dbt is ages for 18 to 45 what I read before. If you could get the dbt workbook so you can help your sister out. I do agree what is Lori saying. To teach your children say I feel statemes. Michelle
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 3:08pm
Lori and Michelle-

Thank you both so very much for giving me you time and your posts. I feel as though, between here and other boards, I have a good starting place. I won't even pretend to understand but I can admittedly say I feel comfortable with helping and learning to understand about the issue. My sister will be here sometime next week, I will be enrolling her in school and getting her to the doctor's office, so we can get a referral to a therepist. Both my husband and myself will be supportive and loving as she makes the change into a new environment and settles into school. Lori, I feel as if some of the best information came from you and each time something comes up I will be sure to think of what you said.

Thank you so much and I will keep you updated on how things progress.

Jeanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 9:51pm

Hey Jeanie,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 5:39pm
Hi,

I posted my problem, using "I can't believe I did this" as the title. Then I started reading through other posts while I waited to see if there was a response. You said in this discussion:

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That really was how I was feeling. My husband gets really mad when I cry, and I don't feel like crying is allowed, and I needed to express my emotion. I was drunk and picked a really bad way to do it. Would you mind reading my other post, and letting me know what you think I should do? My husband wants me to get onto antidepressants, but I don't want to because I don't think they will help. I don't think I'm depressed.

Thanks,

Becky

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 6:44pm

Hey Becky,


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