How 'bout a Roll Call?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
How 'bout a Roll Call?
22
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 8:33am

Hey all,


It's been kinda quiet here lately and I'm wondering if everyone who reads this would take a moment and let us know: your name, the state you live in IF you'd like to share that, and how things are going with you. ANYONE is welcome to post their response...regular members, "newbies" and those who are just passing thru and have not yet posted here but read on occasion.


Let's see......how's Emily, Keli, Sandra, Mary, Michelle, pboyd, Jessica, Laura, etc, etc, etc, (Sorry if I've left any specific names out--didn't mean to!). Come on by and say hello everyone! Hugs, Lori

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Avatar for catfriendlady02
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 5:49pm
I'm here Lori. Its been cool here in upstate Ny. We are getting 2 more doxies soon I think from my mom. I been going through things round the house. I through some junk out. I went vote yesterday. I had group today. This person really made me mad. How can she judge me. She can't becuse she don't know me at all. I didn't say nothing to her. I am only old member in DBT. There are about 4 new members. Sometimes I judge but I don't say anything about people. I'm sorry to vent. So How is everyone doing? Michelle
Avatar for markshay
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 7:18pm
here.

Sandra, from ohio (and don't be blaming me for the election either because I didn't vote and 1 vote from me wouldn't have changed it either). I am feeling more and more like I would be gone IF it weren't for my kids. I am feeling so awful for thinking that I could be a decent person by having kids and do the right thing for them. The only thing that keeps me alive now is the thought of my girls and how I would miss them so terribly much if I did die (but you know, I'm also scared that I'll never get to the point where it will be ok to leave them either, eventually life will be over for me). Such a double edge sword. I am sick of myself and of my life (other than the girls). I feel like I will never get out of myself enough to make my life seem worthwhile. This battle has gone on way too long as it is (I'm 38 years old, the past 20 years of it has been like this {10 of those years, I did actively try to do away with myself}. Here I am attempting to try to be a decent mom for my girls while being the person that I am. I'm tired. Ok, I'll quit whining. I'm still amongst the living. Hope everyone else is doing ok and finding their way out of these pits we find ourselves in.

Sandra.

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Registered: 02-12-2004
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 8:25am

Hey Michelle,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 8:29am
I, for one, am GLAD you are here! I know how hard the battle can get because I've fought it. And, like you, I fought it for years and thought that was the only kind of life for me. I had no idea things would begin to change as they did just a few years ago. And so I hope YOU can continue to let a little spark of faith burn way deep inside you that it can happen to you, too! You are right in thinking about your girls and how they need their mom and also how much YOU would miss them---all the precious things they say, the quiet times spent talking or snuggling with them, the times you all laugh together and yes, even the times YOU are there when no one else is to dry their tears and reassure their hurts. Please don't ever take that away from them, hon. You all need each other! Hugs, Lori
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 8:56am
Hi Lori - I don't live in a state, I live in a province, I'm in Canada, where you are somewhere right now I guess huh? It is progessively getting cooler here and the thought of winter coming is a real downer for me. The shorter days are hard for me too, I know that can affect a lot of people's moods. Had a death in the family recently which was very sad, and a job interview that was suppose to happen and for some reason never did, both of those things have me feeling not the best. I am trying to do things, leave the house if necessary when I am really struggling and wanting to SI,,,just to help alleviate the hurt.

Anyway,,,sorry to sound so dismal,,,I hope you are enjoying your visit to Canada,,,and hoping that you here for positive reasons. Take care to all,,,bye :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 10:48am
Hey Lori, and everyone...

I've been doing really really well. I'm on a new medicine, Cymbalta...the newly released, more potent anti depressant and its been my miracle drug. I still have my days where I'm a little blah feeling, but my depression has lifted and I am VERY thankful for that. I'm back at work full time and productive and happy. My dh's father is on life support and I'm not sure how much longer he's going to be around. My dh is not handling it at all, not facing it, ignoring it really. Won't face his family at all...so I'm trying to help him deal with it, but all I can do is just be there for him.

I just want you all to know that HOPE and HELP is out there...PLEASE do NOT give up. I wanted to give up so many times, SO BADLY. But I fought and fought and fought...on days that I just wanted to lay down and die...and I made it through, with the help of this board, my friends online (the only true ones I have) my pdoc, and God.

I'm here for anyone who needs me. Its tough, but we can all make it, TOGETHER.

Love and Hugs,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 10:56am
Hi Sandra! I didn't vote either, and I live in Florida! LOL

Honey, hang on as hard as you can...for your girls...they need you so much...find anything you can to hold on to and HOLD ON...I fought a battle with Bipolar disorder for the last three years, hospitalized 4 times...and just recently did i start getting better...I had to go off ALL my meds and start completely over and FINALLY did they find the right med for me...JUST as I was giving up...I am so totally thankful and grateful that I didn't. I feel good again and I'm fighting...I will have to fight this disorder for the rest of my life, but I know now that I can do it...I will have my lowest of lows...even on meds...but they will pass...and I have the strength to get through them...I had to almost die to realize that I wanted to live...I want to see my son finish high school, get married if he chooses to do so...I want to continue to come to work every day, talk to my friends, watch movies, read books...I want to live. I almost didn't make it, but got another chance. Life is short and we can't take a single moment for granted. PLEASE HANG ON sweety...I know its tough...but you can make it, I know you can...

Are you on meds, in therapy, or have a doctor? If you want to talk, I'm here.

Love,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 10:58am
Hi! Just wanted to give you hugs!!! Shorter days and less sunlight make it harder on all of us...but we can make it through! How are you doing now? Stay safe...and keep getting out of the house...distract yourself when you want to SI!!! I know its tough when the urges are right there hounding you...but you can do it!

Hugs!!!

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 8:08am

Hi there and thanks for taking the time to post and let us know you are still here at the board with us---glad to hear it!


Sorry things are so dismal with the job interview and especially sorry to hear about the death in your family. Grieving and loss are such difficult things to go through so please remember to seek support as much as you need to, okay?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 8:13am

Heyyy Keli,


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