learning that you are worth it?
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learning that you are worth it?
| Tue, 11-09-2004 - 4:24pm |
How does a person learn/believe/buy into feeling that they are worthy of anything in this life? I just can't seem to figure out how or why I could be worthy of anything in my life. The only reason I live is for my kids. Sometimes I try to tell myself that for my kids that I should find reasons why life could or would be better and that I should find a way to stand up for myself. Something as simple as getting a massage or even waking my dh up in the night just seems unattainable to me (not to mention anything even bigger than those things). I just absolutely start to crumble and feel like I am going to go into a major panic attack if I even look like I might be trying to do something for myself. Would I survive crumbling and having a major panic attack? I don't know, and I just don't feel like I am worth it. I feel so immobilized within myself and without being able to feel worthy of even the smallest things, I really feel like there is no reason to go on living. 20 years of therapy and 19 years of meds, several hospitalizations, just don't seem to getting me anywhere. I love my kids more than anything in this world!!!! The thought of never seeing them again keeps me going but if I can't figure out how to survive until nature takes it course, I don't think that I can even be of anything good to my kids. Anyways, just wondering how those of you have gotten to a place of feeling worthy of "living and standing up for yourself" got to that point. Thanks.
Sandra.
Sandra.

Hi Sandra,
Your children surely believe you are worthy...try seeing yourself with their eyes. You ARE worthy. You ARE loved. Try treating yourself kindly...the first steps towards feeling better are within you.
Do you ever think of leaving your husband and starting a new life for yourself? I get the feeling that you aren~t happy with him...(Maybe there have been times when you have been trying to feel more positive about yourself and then your husband says or does something that triggers you back into feeling depressed again?)
(((((HUGS))))) Sandra ~
Faith
~~~~~~~
How does a person learn/believe/buy into feeling that they are worthy of anything in this life? I just can't seem to figure out how or why I could be worthy of anything in my life. The only reason I live is for my kids. Sometimes I try to tell myself that for my kids that I should find reasons why life could or would be better and that I should find a way to stand up for myself. Something as simple as getting a massage or even waking my dh up in the night just seems unattainable to me (not to mention anything even bigger than those things). I just absolutely start to crumble and feel like I am going to go into a major panic attack if I even look like I might be trying to do something for myself. Would I survive crumbling and having a major panic attack? I don't know, and I just don't feel like I am worth it. I feel so immobilized within myself and without being able to feel worthy of even the smallest things, I really feel like there is no reason to go on living. 20 years of therapy and 19 years of meds, several hospitalizations, just don't seem to getting me anywhere. I love my kids more than anything in this world!!!! The thought of never seeing them again keeps me going but if I can't figure out how to survive until nature takes it course, I don't think that I can even be of anything good to my kids. Anyways, just wondering how those of you have gotten to a place of feeling worthy of "living and standing up for yourself" got to that point. Thanks.
Sandra.