Therapy Question Please

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Therapy Question Please
5
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 3:59pm
Hi Everyone,,,hoping you are doing alright. I have a question please,,,I am thinking that I may not go back to my T anymore,,,,after my last session and how it was. I didn't make another appointment with her while I was there because with work now I don't know until later when I am off. She said to just call her when I knew,,,I haven't called her.
What I need to know is,,,if I just never call her back does she have some sort of 'obligation' or something to call me? Can a person just stop going to therapy if they
want to? I am so afraid she will think I am hiding things, and I am afraid because of last session she will think I am SI'ing more and well you know,,,just avoiding her.
I just don't think I want to go back anymore,,,it is too hard for me. I have enough to
worry about and deal with than to have to be constantly afraid of what she might think and act upon. I either go and pretend and lie my head off or just not go anymore.
I really need to know if a therapist will leave you alone if you just never come back again,,,,otherwise I will have to switch to plan B and come up with some elaborate plan full of excuses why I can't go back to her anymore,,,and just hope she buys it. *sigh*
Thank you for reading this,,,,it is long I know
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 1:14am
Well. Based on personal experience. I've just stopped going to therapists twice now...and they never called me back that I was aware of. But then again. I only saw them a few times. (Meaning less than five times...between the two of them) And I think it was "free".
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 6:11pm

Hey there,


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 9:52am
Hello (again) I actually have been to a number of therapists in my life,,,,some have called back enquiring and some haven't. This one has called back before when I didn't make another appointment ( I did go back to her ) so I am sure I will hear from her. The thing with the other therapists I didn't talk about my home so much and didn't have children then. This therapist is concerned about my kids and that is one of the reasons I am afraid she will become suspicious if I stop going suddenly. One of my children is already in therapy and I am starting the other one as well. I have thought a lot about what you said Lori, and I appreciate and respect your thoughts on the issues brought up here by everyone. I think I will tell her 'when' she calls that I found the last session difficult and I would like to wait until after the holidays sometime to see her again. That way I will have the time I need to rearrange my thoughts and maybe not be as guarded against her as I am right now. I hope I can say that to her when she does phone and not mess it up. Right now I still really do not want to go back there again, it just makes me tired thinking about it. I am trying to tell myself I am 'okay' but I know I'm not as 'okay' as I should be despite what excuses I give myself. Anyway just wanted to thank you again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 4:29pm

For what it's worth, I think you've made a VERY wise decision....to not make any rash decisions now and to let her know you want to wait and see her after the holidays! I can totally understand the protectiveness factor you feel for your children--that is a GOOD thing and one that your therapist will no doubt respect. Also, the very act of getting them into therapy is yet another wise and brave act of courage I am sure your therapist will commend you for. Try not to be so hard on yourself, okay? Hugs, Lori

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Wed, 12-08-2004 - 10:10am

Hi come to nothing:

I think it's okay to choose to end therapy in whatever way is best for you. If it's easier to just not call, then don't. She may call you, she may not. I've quit several shrinks, two by just never calling back and they didn't call me. But I did have one therapist I saw as an adjunct to my regular therapist (she had this huge dog that used to jump all over me and I'm afraid of dogs, so I just couldn't handle it) and she did call me when I stopped, but I told her my problem and she was okay with me stopping.

That said... maybe you could stay in therapy and talk about the pacing of things. Tell her they are moving too fast, tell her you are feeling worse, tell her you are scared of what she will do if you are honest with her... it could change everything and make it better. Then again, maybe this therapist is the wrong "fit" for you. I'd hate to see you give up a source of support when you are struggling.

Let us know how it goes.
Hugs,
Emily