Very depressed and afraid

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Very depressed and afraid
5
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 2:29am
I can't sleep tonight because I slept too much during the day today, and I've just got so many thoughts running through my head. I haven't taken my medication (Prozac) in three days because I just don't see the point anymore. All that I care about right now is losing weight, and while Prozac hasn't made me gain any weight, it's not helping me lose weight either. I'm so overwhelmed with all the work that I have to do for finals, and I've been skipping a lot of meals so that I can get my work done and also so that I can sleep. For some reason, I'm always so tired during the day, but I just worry during the night. It makes no sense. I think that I'm going to get some diet pills this weekend and also some sleeping pills. My doctor probably wouldn't be happy if he knew that I had stopped taking my Prozac, but I just want to lose weight. Everyone tells me this is horrible, but I don't really care about being healthy anymore - I just want to be skinny. I'm listening to classical music, hoping that it will help me relax and fall asleep. My thoughts are just so random, and I'm exhausted, but I can't fall asleep.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 11:31am

I gotta respectfully disagree with you on this one, Pinkstar. Even if you aren't aware of it, some small part of you DOES

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 4:28pm
I just have such a headache. I finally did break down and take my Prozac today, but I still haven't eaten anything yet. I have so much food in my dorm room, and I wish that I didn't. I've leaving for the weekend soon, so it will be easier not to be tempted with so much food. I just wish I could get rid of this horrible headache.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Sat, 12-04-2004 - 1:54pm
Hi there-
I think I wrote you in response to another posting you had up about the Prozac, but I haven't heard from you on that. I have the same problem about sleep,etc. and it is because I have generalized anxiety along with severe depression and PTSD. That is why I worry about everything as soon as the lights go out at night and my mind is running wild. I worry during the day,too, but it's about anything and everything-half of which I or you have any control over. You have to train yourself to think, "it's not going to do me any good to lie awake tonight and woory about this. I will deal with it tomorrow when I am rested." I want to stop my prozac,too, but I know not to do that suddenly. I am afraid that you may have a very bad withdrawal effect from doing this.. I have had them after tapering off gradually like the doc said to, but it still happened the first day I had absolutely no medicine inmy system. It only lasted a couple of days, but it was terrible. So I ask you to please tell your doctor you want to get off of it and ask him what timescale to use for tapering off. Mine was taking it down 50mg every week until I was off completely. Getting skinny is not going to do you any good if you are too depressed to see yourself. This is just my opinion, take it with a grain of salt. It is usually dangerous to mix diet pills and antidepressants-if you read the warning label of the diet pills, I'm sure it will tell you this. Please address your weight issue with a doctor and do it the right way. I am having the same problem--I am the heaviest I have ever been now, and the doctors don't know why. You don't know which med is causing it becasue they are constantly being changed. Even though I hate how I look, I do not want to end up in the hospital becasue of a drug interaction. So I hope I made some sense to you. I know what you are feeling-trust me. Feel free to write back if you wish. I hope you feel better. greeneye1971
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 1:09am
Thanks for replying to me. I haven't taken my Prozac in a few days. I'm having panic attacks again, but I really want to start taking Stackers, so I'm afraid to mix them with the Prozac. I figure that it would at least be smarter to get the Prozac completely out of my system first. I don't know. I'm just so messed up. It's really late at night, and I just can't really think straight. I should probably just try to go to bed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Wed, 12-08-2004 - 9:46am

Dear Pinkstar:

I used to have problems being unable to sleep, because of anxiety. Fortunately, the meds I take now (at night) put me right to sleep, so I can't lay there and worry. Maybe going off your Prozac is increasing your anxiety level, and adding to your sleeplessness. I really would encrouage you to concult your doctor about going off your med. If you've got finals coming up, you can't afford the crash that may come from stopping your med.

Now, let me tell you something about the whole skinny issue. I have been anorexic to the point of being hospitalized for it. I know it seem like you would be happy and everything would be better if you were just skinnier. But honey, that's a lie you are telling yourself. From experience I can tell you, that even when I weighed eighty pounds, I didn't feel skinny, pretty or valuable. I just felt sick. It was never enough, no matter how much weight I lost. It never filled up the holes. And, after a while, I lost control of it, and it controlled me. The lack of eating began to distort my thinking... it really does seriously affect your brain chemistry. Being skinny isn't the answer. But there, is a silver lining to that. When I gave up on being rail thin, I had to look elsehwere for reasons to love myself... and that is the real answer. I think dieting to the point of obsession just separates a person from finding their real answers.

Please don't give up. There is strength and beauty to you. And, you can find it... you just may need time and help.

Please keep posting, keep reaching out. It is really important to talk about what you are going through. And please consider at least informing your doctor that you went off your med.

Be well,
Emily